


Winter's War

by Green_Eyed_Dragon_Fanfiction



Series: Winter's War [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940's, Captain America: The First Avenger, F/M, Howling Commandos - Freeform, Peggy is the best girl, Smut, Vaginal Sex, dark but with adorable interludes, follows the events of CA:TFA, reader is a badass genius, reader is a scientist who works with Howard and abraham, the howling commandos are the best bros, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-02 03:02:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 76,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12718314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_Eyed_Dragon_Fanfiction/pseuds/Green_Eyed_Dragon_Fanfiction
Summary: Being best friends with Peggy Carter came with a lot of perks; a stable job, a place where your genius was appreciated, a fortune in weapons sales, the creation of a super soldier, and a second stalwart confidant. It also, however, led you to more than a fair share of trouble; kidnapping by Nazis, torture, a spot on the front lines of the war... and one James Buchanan Barnes.And that young man, Bucky Barnes?Well, he ended up being the greatest thing to ever enter your whirlwind life.Winter's War is the first of a trilogy, following the reader, Bucky, Steve, Peggy, and the Howling Commandos through the events of Captain America: The First Avenger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: language, death, blood, violence, torture

[Originally posted by bakmasenonlara](https://tmblr.co/Z_rplj2RVB9oh)

**Camp Lehigh. Wheaton, New Jersey 1941**

“Peggy!” you yelled, making a beeline for the military jeep, the mud from the recent rainstorms splashing everywhere as you went. You cringed as the freezing stuff made its way into your boots, a noise of disgust leaving your lips.

To your relief, the Jeep screeched to a halt and Peggy turned to look at you, surprised. 

“(Y/N)! Done with Stark already?” she asked, smirking knowingly at you once you were within earshot.

You groaned and hopped into the back seat, not bothering to open the door. You gave the soldier driving it a courteous nod. “If the man wasn’t such a genius I’d sock him in his stupid face,” you said bitterly. The Jeep lurched forward, towards the center of the military base. 

“I’ll trade you. You can go into the meetings with Colonel Phillips instead,” she said, grinning over her shoulder at you. 

“Oh, pass. He always yells at me when I fall asleep in the middle of his briefings,” you said, grimacing at the thought. 

“He does tend to drone, doesn’t he?” Peggy asked over the roar of the engine, a wide smile on her face. 

You nodded, eyes rolling dangerously far back in your head. “And we both know you would _actually_ punch Stark if you had to be around him as much as I do,” you said, leaning forward to rest your arms on the back of her seat. 

“If he asks me out for fondue one more time I just might,” she said darkly. 

You laughed at that. “He asked you out _again_?” you asked incredulously. That must be the… sixth time? This week?

She nodded solemnly. “Could be worse, though. It could be Colonel Phillips asking me out,” she said, throwing you a conspiratory wink as the Jeep came to a halt. You hopped out a half second later, wincing at the feeling of the mud in your boots. 

“What do we have lined up today, boss?” you asked, falling into step beside her. 

“I told you not to call me that,” she said, rolling her eyes at you as she pulled out her notebook. 

She was your boss on paper only. In reality, the two of you were best friends but her claiming that you were her invaluable assistant was the only way she could get you onto the base. She knew your value; you were smart enough to keep up with Stark, after all, and whenever she trained with you, you picked up any techniques quickly. 

But Peggy could have passed all of those things up because the one that mattered was that you were a good person. You cared about people. You were fierce and loyal and, like Peggy, you didn’t back down just because you were a woman. You knew your value and fought hard to make others acknowledge it. 

It was why Peggy considered you to be her best friend. 

“I don’t know, I kind of like it. Gives you an authoritative air, don’tcha think?” you said, giving her a lopsided grin.

Peggy ignored your comments with a huff, quickly reading over her schedule for the day. 

“New batch of recruits. Seems I’ve been assigned to look them over. Care to join me?” she asked, raising a meticulously manicured eyebrow at you. 

“Depends. You been told off for punching the cheeky ones yet?” you asked, sly grin on your face.

“No, it seems Colonel Phillips actually likes it when I do that,” she said, chuckling softly. 

“The looks on their face _are_ priceless,” you agreed, feeling a small surge of respect for the Colonel. 

“He seemed quite adamant about today’s recruits. Something must have-” 

Peggy’s voice died in her throat as the two of you rounded the corner. Although there was the usual cluster of cavemen-esque men, one of them stood out from the others… by being over a head shorter and about half the weight. 

The two of you glanced at each other, confusion clear in your face. “Abraham told me that he was bringing in a recruit, but… I didn’t expect _this_ ,” you whispered as you and Peggy approached the group of recruits, most of whom were generally being loud nuisances. 

“Well, let’s not be too hasty in our judgement,” Peggy said, eyes scanning the group critically. “Recruits! Attention!” she yelled at them. You grabbed the box of clipboards from the soldier that had arrived to assist Peggy, waving him off dismissively when he protested. You wanted a front row seat to this one. 

Although the men snapped to attention instantly, they immediately began studying Peggy. You handed out the clipboards and forms to the recruits as you passed, barely sparing each one a glance. 

“Gentleman, I’m Agent Carter. I supervise all operations for this division,” she said formally. You passed the little guy, taking note of his slender frame that was even smaller up close; surely you were just as tall as him. You gave him a small smile as you handed him the clipboard which he returned shyly. Man, those were some blue eyes. 

“What’s with the accent, Queen Victoria?”

Peggy stopped walking down the line and turned to face the recruit who’d spoken out. If he was smart he’d just shut up, but-

“I thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army,” he said, smirking down his nose at her. Your blood boiled, but you knew that steely glint in her eyes all too well. 

“What’s your name, Soldier?” she asked, taking a small step towards him. 

“Gilmore Hodge, your majesty,” he said snidely, his New York accent clear. You were wearing a shit-eating grin that the little guy noticed, blue eyes flicking between you, Peggy, and Private Hodge in curiosity. 

“Step forward, Hodge,” Peggy ordered, surprisingly calm. You relocated the giant box of clipboards to your hip, grin not faltering for a moment. Hodge smirked, glancing back at the other recruits, and stepped forward, a swagger in his step. 

“Put your right foot forward,” Peggy said, tone neutral. 

He did as she asked, but a sleazy grin on your face told you this wasn’t over yet. “Ooh, we gonna wrassle?” he asked, grinning salaciously at Peggy. “’Cause I got a few moves I _know_ you’ll like,” he said, tone leaving little room for interpretation of his meaning.

You had to fight back a laugh. Oh, he’d just made a huge mistake.

In the blink of an eye, Peggy threw her arm back and let her fist fly, connecting to Private Hodge’s face with the most satisfying _smack_ you’d ever heard. Hodge let out a pathetic grunt and fell to the ground immediately, clutching at his face. 

Peggy stared down at him as though he was a particularly annoying gnat and you let out a quiet chuckle. You noticed the little guy was also holding back a laugh, broad grin on his face. You continued handing out clipboards, throwing Hodge’s on top of his writhing form as you passed. 

“Agent Carter!” came a gruff voice from behind Peggy. Colonel Phillips exited the Jeep and walked over to the line of recruits.

“Colonel Phillips!” Peggy said somewhat stiffly, turning to face the Colonel. 

“I see you’re breaking in the new candidates! That’s good,” he said, with what was as close to happiness as you thought he was capable of. He turned his eyes on Hodge, who was still lying on the ground. You handed a clipboard to the last recruit and returned the box to the nearby truck, not missing the Colonel’s next words. “Get your ass up out of that dirt and stand on that line at attention ‘till somebody comes and tells you what to do,” he said darkly, glaring at Hodge. 

“Yes, sir!” Hodge said, sniffing as he practically jumped up. You were happy to see a little bit of blood trickling down from his nose. You weren’t sure if it was Peggy’s punch or the fact that it was a grizzled-looking old white man in front of him, but Hodge suddenly seemed very respectful. You hoped it was the former. 

Unsurprisingly, Doctor Abraham Erskine had arrived with the Colonel, although you hadn’t seen him at first. It made sense that he’d arrived to assess his candidates in person. You sidled up next to him and he glanced at you, reading your confused expression in an instant. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, thick German accent coloring his words. “I will tell you more about it later. Just trust me and keep an eye on him for now, yes?” he asked, gaze beseeching.

You let out a long sigh and nodded. “Whatever you say, Doc,” you muttered resignedly. You barely understood Abraham’s serum; biology wasn’t your specialty, much less the advanced organic chemistry he knew. You resolved to do something even _you_ could do: observe all the candidates with a scientist’s scrupulous eye while they went through training.

* * *

No matter what Peggy said, Private Rogers was everything you thought he’d be (at least physically). As much as you hated some of the other men in the group of recruits, they easily outpaced and outlasted Steve at every turn. 

You felt more than saw Erskine appear next to you. “Are you going to explain why you brought him onto this base?” you asked as you watched Steve fail miserably at climbing a rope ladder. 

“Because he is the clear choice,” Abraham said confidently. You looked from Steve, who’d just managed to untangle himself, to the German scientist in disbelief. 

“Abe, I know he’s a good kid, but-”

He laughed at that. “Good kid? He’s only a couple years younger than you,” he said, smiling.

You frowned at that. He was so small you sometimes forgot he was an adult. You turned your scowl on him. “Doesn’t mean there aren’t other candidates who are more physically suitable and also happen to be good men. I know Phillips has his eye on Hodge, but he’s an ass, so he’s out of the running” you said bitterly. 

Erskine laughed in earnest at that. “You always have quite the mouth! You’re not wrong, though. There are undoubtedly other good men here,” he said, smiling down at you.

“Then why…?” you asked, gesturing vaguely at Rogers, who was struggling in the mud under some barbed wire. One of the other recruits, presumably Hodge, had knocked one of the posts out, pinning him in the mud. 

“We have enough big, strong men fighting this war. I think what we need now is a little guy,” Abraham said, smiling at Steve who seemed to be refusing to give up. 

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. “He’s tenacious, I’ll give him that much,” you said, crossing your arms as you watched his dogged progress. 

“He is a good man. He is the only option,” Abraham said firmly.

You rolled your eyes. “You’ve already made up your mind, eh?” you asked, turning your head to look up at him, resignation on your face.

He looked down at you, his smile almost blinding. “But of course!” 

You groaned, wiping a hand down your face. “Fine. I have to go see Stark. He’s been yelling about a breakthrough all morning. I’ve already had at least two poor privates deliver me very urgent, harried messages from him. If I keep him waiting any longer he’ll be insufferable,” you said, shoving your notebook full of observations into his hands. He flipped through it as you walked away, smile growing as he read your report. 

“I’m glad you agree with me!” he said cheerfully. You didn’t bother to turn around and simply rolled your eyes at him as you headed toward’s Stark’s lab.

* * *

“(Y/N)! Where have you been? I’ve been asking after you all morning!” Howard said the moment you stepped into his makeshift lab. He popped out from under the hood of the ghastly red monstrosity he called a car, grease on nearly every inch of his body. He looked oddly bug-like with his protective goggles on.

“I was performing observations for Doctor Erskine. You know that, Howard,” you said, patience already wearing thin. 

“Oh, right. I forgot he asked you to help out with that!” Howard said as he pulled his goggles onto his forehead. “Now, I’ve gotten really close to perfecting the reversion technology-”

“Howard, we’re less than a week away from Project Rebirth, and you’re messin’ with your car?” you asked, upset yet not surprised. 

“Wait, that’s this week?” he asked, eyes wide.

“Yes, Howard! Five days from now, in fact!” you said, throwing your hands up in defeat. How did this man ever get anything done on time?

He looked stricken and your hands flew to your temples, trying to massage away the oncoming headache. 

“Please tell me you at least worked out the balance issues in the pod?” you asked, glaring up at him through your eyelashes.

When he didn’t meet your eye and began stuttering out excuses, you let out a deep sigh.

“What about the microinjection apparatus? Did you finish calibrating it?” you asked, tone tight.

“Well, I, uh-”

“The Vita-Ray machine? Have you started implementing the fail-safes?”

“You see, I-”

“Howard Stark!” you yelled, causing a few of the lab techs to freeze and look at the scene in front of them, eyes wide with apprehension. “If you don’t start working on that technology _immediately_ , I swear I’ll take a wrench to every inch of that damned car!” you threatened, eyes wide in anger. 

Howard gulped, looking taken aback. You were usually pretty quiet, albeit stubborn. This was a new side he hadn’t seen yet. 

“We’re going to New York. We don’t have time to go back and forth between sites anymore,” you said angrily. “Pack anything you might need. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

“You can’t tell me-”

“Howard, we’re behind! Do you want to be the one to tell Phillips we can’t do the experiment on time?” you asked, crossing your arms as you glared at him. 

Stark groaned, running a hand over his face. “Alright, alright… You win. We’ll go to New York tomorrow. But… before that, can you help me-”

“If you ask me to help you work on that infernal car I swear I’ll show you firsthand the techniques Peggy’s been teaching me,” you said darkly. 

Stark gulped, choosing to not talk anymore, and hurriedly began gathering his things up.

You sighed, tension leaving your body. You hated getting angry like that, but you refused to let this project go sideways. You had just as much invested in it as Stark and Erskine.

You turned and left Stark’s lab. You had to let Erskine and Peggy know what was going on… and probably let Colonel Phillips know that you and Stark were leaving the base for New York early (though you’d leave out why).

* * *

**SSR Base. New York, New York 1941  
**

“(Y/N)!” came a voice from behind you. 

You spun, white lab coat billowing around you. “Peggy!” you said excitedly, throwing your arms around her. “Glad you made it safely!” you said, giving her a gentle squeeze which she returned. She released you, giving you a questioning look. “Just feeling a bit nervous is all, I suppose,” you explained, ducking your head a little bit in embarrassment.

You noticed the tuft of blond hair behind her and leaned to peek over her shoulder. Sure enough, Steve Rogers stood behind her, looking confused but determined.

“Private Rogers,” you greeted warmly, holding a hand out to him. 

His blue eyes snapped to you, recognition flashing in them. You didn’t speak to Rogers often, but you were around the candidates enough that he recognized you easily. “Ma’am,” he said formally, taking your hand in his own. You weren’t surprised to find it was clammy; he was probably more nervous than you were. 

You dropped each others hands and stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. Luckily, Peggy came to the rescue. 

“This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” Peggy said helpfully, smiling at both of you. “You’re lucky she’s here. She’s a tech genius in her own right and has the most difficult task in this endeavor: keeping Mr. Stark on task,” she said, winking at you. 

“Hey, credit where credit is due, Pegs. I helped bring half of Stark’s crazy ideas to life, too,” you said, pouting at her. 

“A beautiful dame like you helped create all this?” Steve piped up, looking around the room with renewed awe. You raised an eyebrow at him and he seemed to realize he put his foot in his mouth because he froze a second later and began spewing apologies.

“I- I mean. A beautiful woman- Uh, a capable, intelligent woman-”

You laughed at his stuttering. Even Peggy was smiling along, shaking her head slightly. “It’s alright, Rogers. I don’t think you meant anything by it. If you’re ready, you can take off your shirt. Doctor Erskine will be here in a moment,” you said, smiling at him. He’d gone a truly impressive shade of red and seemed reluctant to take his shirt off in front of you and Peggy until Abraham came over and told him to do the same.

“Peggy?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She was staring at Steve worriedly as he laid down on the table in the huge Vita Ray Pod. 

“Hmm?” she asked absently, tearing her gaze away from Steve. You filed her curious reaction away for later study, focusing on the task at hand. 

“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the booth?” you asked, throwing her a smirk as you jerked your thumb up at the glass-paneled booth above both of your heads.

“Oh, right! Yes! Of Course!” she said hurriedly, the slightest shade of pink dusting her cheeks. 

You watched her quickly climb the stairs, watching her retreating form with interest. You looked over your shoulder at Steve (who just happened to be looking at Peggy), then back at her. 

_Interesting._

Erskine tapped insistently at the microphone and just like that, the experiment was beginning.

* * *

The lab was a wreck. Peggy and Steve were gone, chasing after the man who’d stolen the vial of serum and fled after blowing up half the room and shooting Doctor Erskine. 

By the time you’d gotten to him, your mentor and friend was dead, eyes staring at nothing. People around you were battered and bleeding, and everyone was reeling from the blast. You were pretty sure one of your eardrums had been blown out and the other was ringing, letting you hear little to nothing. 

You didn’t realize you were crying until your tears dripped onto his labcoat and your hands as they clutched the blood-stained fabric. 

You wanted to scream and rage at the world. You wanted to shake him until he woke up, but you knew none of it would be of any use.

Why did he have to die, right when his greatest project succeeded? Where was the justice in that? The answer was that there wasn’t any. You kept crying on the floor of the lab room long after they’d removed Abraham’s body. 

It was only once Stark placed a hand gently on your shoulder then picked you up bridal style that you realized how much time had passed. 

“Come on, sweetheart. I miss the Doctor too, but we have some important information to decipher and even more important decision to make,” Howard said, sadly, carrying you towards the meeting room that was a few doors down. 

“You should let her be, Howard. You don’t know much he meant to her,” came a soft, chastising voice next to you. You tilted your head back to look at Peggy, who was looking at you sadly. 

“You’re back,” you murmured, the corner of your lips twitching upwards. The small smile slipped off of your face, though, when you noticed she was a little banged up. “What happened?” you asked concern lacing your voice. 

Peggy gave you a sad smile. “I’ll tell you later, love, after you’ve-”

“No, I want to hear what happened now,” you said, voice making you sound stronger than you felt. 

Peggy sighed, glancing up at Howard, who shrugged minutely, jostling you slightly in his arms.

“Put me down, please, Howard. I can stand,” you said quietly, willing yourself to be brave.

He seemed reluctant, but did as you asked, hands hovering next to your arms to catch you if your legs gave out. 

“Steve’s about to give his report of what happened. We should grab some seats before it starts,” Peggy said, holding her hand out for you to take. You did, welcoming its comfort. 

Howard opened the door to the room and you took a deep, calming breath. You _would_ find out who killed your mentor and why… and you _would_ make them pay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the death of Doctor Erskine, you and Steve are shoved to the side. You bond during your time on the road. You head to Italy earlier than Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: language, death, blood, violence

**New York, New York 1943** _  
_

_Hydra._

That name haunted your dreams and waking hours alike. The deep science division of the Nazis. The people responsible for killing Abraham.

“I know that look,” Steve said as he sat down beside you, still in his _“Captain America”_ outfit. “You’re thinking about Hydra again,” he said knowingly, commiserating smile on his lips. He set his shield down against your desk and pulled his silly blue winged hood back so it no longer obscured half of his face.

“You say that like you’re not constantly thinking about them, too,” you said bluntly as you set down your latest invention. You pulled your protective glasses to the top of your head and stared at him accusingly.

He smiled at that, glancing away guiltily. “Guilty as charged. But what I’m doing is important-”

“Yeah, yeah, bonds are important to the war effort. Bond sales take a bump in each state, blah blah. I know the speech, Steve,” you said dismissively, burying your face in your hands.

He sighed, eyeing you sadly. He knew your frustration all too well. The very same day he gained his powers he was relegated to a chorus girl. It was decided you’d go with him and keep an eye on him in case the experiment went wrong or his body started to reject the change. That had been a year ago, yet you and Steve were still on the road, touring the country, raising funds for the war effort.

Like him, you resented your current task. You wanted to be in a lab somewhere, attempting to create things that would help take Hydra down… or even help try to unravel Erskine’s serum (though you weren’t sure how much help you’d be in that area).

You let out a long sigh and leaned back in your chair, giving Steve an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to be here, either,” you said quietly.

He smiled ruefully. “Better out here helping any way I can than in some lab being poked and prodded with needles all day,” he said, shrugging. He seemed to realize what he said and grimaced. “Not that wanting to be in a lab is a bad thing, I just-”

“I know, Steve,” you said, smiling warmly at him. The serum hadn’t changed his inability to talk to women, though he’d gotten better at talking to you the more time you spent together. You’d come to think of him as your brother. “You’d rather be out there fighting on the front lines.”

He nodded, gaze far away. You let him be for a moment before you nudged his shin with your shoe, causing his attention to snap back to you. “We’re going to Italy soon, you know. In her last letter, Peggy said-”

At the simple mention of her name, Steve perked up considerably, the light that had been fading out of his blue orbs returning immediately.

“She’s in that area, yeah,” Steve said, smitten smile appearing on his face.

“I’m going out there earlier than you; have to arrange some last minute things with Colonel Phillips,” you said, biting your lip nervously. “Want me to figure out where she is once I’m out there…? Maybe see if she can find some time to visit the camp while we’re there?” you asked curiously.

He seemed at war with himself. He didn’t want to get his hopes up; it wasn’t exactly easy to find other people on the war front, but his excited fidgeting was answer enough for you.

“I’ll do my best to get a message out to her… but there’s a good chance she’ll hear about the great ‘Captain America‘ visiting the camp anyway,” you said, winking mischievously at Steve. An adorable flush appeared on his cheeks, causing you to laugh merrily at him. He scoffed and looked away from you, his embarrassment causing him to turn an even deeper shade of red.

The music on the stage came to a crescendo again and you picked up his shield and held it out to him. “Sounds like it’s time for the finale, Stevie,” you said, nickname slipping out of your lips from nowhere. Steve looked surprised, frozen halfway out his chair, hand frozen a few inches away from his shield. His reaction surprised you. “What-?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’ll tell you about it later,” Steve said as he tugged his cowl back on and grabbed the shield, hastily making his way towards the stage.

Like that, he was gone in a flash, leaving you off-balance. Was the nickname that weird? It had just slipped out. You hadn’t meant to-

You groaned and yanked your goggles back over your eyes, letting out a few disgruntled grumbles as you picked up your project and began working on it again. 

* * *

Half an hour later, after a frankly disgusting amount of applause, Steve returned.

“Good work, Cap’n,” you said cheekily, sticking your hand out for him to shake.

It was almost like he wasn’t consciously thinking about taking your hand; it seemed the time he spent on the road had given him some bad habits.

It was only once his hand was millimeters away from touching yours that he seemed to realize how odd it was for you to offer him a handshake.

Too late, though.

His fingers engulfed your gloved hand. There was a half second where nothing happened, but then he let out an undignified squeak, his body going rigid before he collapsed.

“Hmm. Probably too much power if that’s what it did to _you_ ,” you said, jotting down a few notes into your journal.

Steve recovered quickly, rolling into a sitting position.

“(Y/N)! What the hell was-”

“Language!” you chastised as you snapped your journal shut and carefully removed your prototype glove.

“You curse more than I do!” Steve argued, glaring at you as he stood.

“Yes, but your innocent demeanor is one of the best things about you,” you said matter-of-factly as you threw your journal and the prototype onto your desk.

“Wait, that isn’t the point! What was that and _why_ did you use it on me?” he asked incredulously.

“It’s my new prototype stun glove. Stark and I have been batting ideas around and I came up with a new design… and I used it on you because I was afraid it’d kill a normal person and I didn’t have time to build a machine to test the voltage output,” you said, smiling up at him.

“Alright, you need to stop testing your inventions on me. The sedation dart hidden in the fountain pen and the sticky grenade were one thing- although I still found that horrid goo in… _unmentionable_ places for weeks after that incident- but this actually _hurt,”_ Steve said, sounding betrayed.

“Alright, I’ll start testing on myself,” you said amicably, shrugging. Maybe being stuck on the road away from your beautiful lab equipment had made you go a little crazy, but you’d never admit that to anyone else. The boredom was absolutely killing you.

Steve blanched. “Wait, no! That’s not what I meant! You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep acting like-” Steve’s voice cut off and he buried his face in his hands, a wry smile appearing on his face.

Alright, maybe you weren’t the only one going crazy. “Steve?” you asked quizzically, trying to get a peek at his face under his hands.

“I sound like Bucky,” he said, shaking his head in resignation as he smiled down at you.

Bucky… Bucky… Steve had mentioned him a few times, but-

“He’s my friend,” he said, correctly interpreting the confusion on your face.

“Oh, right. The guy that pulled your ass from-”

“ _Language_ ,” he mocked.

You rolled your eyes. “-pulled your _ass_ from back alley fights when you were still skinny and frail, right?” you asked, putting special emphasis on the swear, making him cringe and roll his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” he said, warm smile on his face.

“He’s in the army, right? The… 107th?” you said, trying hard to remember everything Steve ever mentioned about the man.

Steve’s smile slipped a bit. “Yeah, he’s on the front lines. I haven’t heard anything, but-”

“Hey, it’s hard to get mail in and out of the front lines, and we’re constantly on the move ourselves. Doesn’t mean anything,” you said, placing a comforting hand on his him.

He smiled at you, but you could tell he was still worried. He probably always would be. You were suddenly grateful all you had to worry about was Peggy and Howard. You didn’t even have to worry about family back home… seeing as you didn’t have any. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said, placing a hand gently over yours. 

“Well, I guess it’s time to go pack, hm? We’re going to Europe soon!” you said, smiling up at him.

At that, Steve seemed to smile genuinely. “One step closer to the front lines,” he said determinedly, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Tell me more about this Borky guy while I pack?” you asked, eager to keep his good mood going. It seemed like his friend was one of the few things that consistently made Steve smile… along with a certain British SSR Agent.

“I know you said his name wrong on purpose,” he said, smirking at you.

“You can prove nothing!” you said loudly as you turned melodramatically, throwing your arms up in the air as you moved to your desk to gather your things.

Steve laughed at your antics but his smile didn’t last long.

You accidentally touched the wrong part of your prototype glove, causing you to convulse as the electrical current ran through your body. Your seized up and dropped like a stone. Steve caught you just before you hit the ground.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!” he said anxiously as he lowered you to the ground, eyes roaming the length of you for any injuries.

“Man am I glad you drained that thing of most of its juice,” you said, coughing as you sat up. “It definitely needs adjustments,” you said, glaring at the glove from your spot on the floor.

Steve rolled his eyes at you as he helped you up. Once he was convinced you wouldn’t immediately fall over, he let you go, but still hovered next to you protectively. “You’re ridiculous,” he said, his caring tone betraying his words.

“And you’re going to miss me for the few days you won’t see me because I’m your friend,” you said in a sing-song tone as you grinned up at him.

He rolled his eyes but didn’t dispute your claim which only caused your grin to widen.

[Originally posted by daily-cup-of-writing](https://tmblr.co/ZLb27k1oNMlf2)

“Come on, you. You have packing to do,” he said,  gently shoving you towards the door. You grabbed your journal, but left the prototype. That was a problem for a later time.

“So, about this ‘Borky’…”

* * *

**Two Days Later - Italy - Allied Territory**

The convoy made its way down the narrow, muddy road. The forest on either side threatened to encroach on the path at any second. Still, you found it beautiful “How are things back in the States?” one of the soldiers asked. Private Jones, if you remembered correctly. The military van you were being escorted in was so noisy you could barely hear his question.

“Honestly, kind of terrible. What I see of it, at least. Nothing compared to what it’s like out here, though, I’m sure,” you said loudly, hoping he could hear you over the engine.

“That’s too bad. I was hoping to return to gold-paved streets and an uncorrupted government,” said the mustachioed man beside you. Jones cracked a smile at the joke, as did the other soldiers in the van.

Dugan. Sergeant Dugan. That was his name.

“Well, I think they‘ve only managed to pave the streets with silver. Might be a while before they work up to gold. As for the government… it’s a complete mess, per usual,” you said, smiling.

Dugan let out a beleaguered sigh. “Well, any progress is-”

An explosion drowned out the rest of his words. It was close. Way closer than it should have been. Immediately, all of the men around you jumped into action, readying their guns and jumping out of the van, using the doors as cover.

“Stay down!” one of them yelled to you, shoving you face-first into the hard canvas-covered seat.

“It’s the damn Nazis! They must have skirted our perimeter!” you heard Dugan yell over the din of gunfire and explosions.

Another explosion rocked the van and you heard bullets bury themselves in the side of the van, while others _zipped_ through the canvas top.

“We’re pinned, Sergeant!” you heard Jones yell.

“Then give them hell, Private!” said a voice you didn’t recognize. He must be a soldier that was in one of the other trucks.

It struck you then. Your escort was pinned by Nazis. You were as good as dead- this was supposed to be a milk run. They didn’t bring a lot of men or a way to contact the forward camp.

“Bloody hell,” you muttered, pulling the pistol you always carried with you out of your bag. You also pulled on your prototype glove, thankful you’d had time to work on it on your way overseas; it had an on/off button now.

If you were going to die here, you were going to take down some Nazi bastards before you died.

You crawled out of the other side of the van, surprising the soldiers.

“What are you doing, little missy? Get back in the van!” Dugan yelled, waving you away.

“To hell with that! I’m fighting for my life!” you yelled, glaring at him challengingly.

“Ha! I like this girl! I thought she was just some lab rat, but she’s got guts!” said the man you’d heard earlier. Past the army gear and layers of dirt you could see a handsome man, a pair of bright blue eyes studying the battlefield expertly.

“Flirt later, Barnes! We’re in a tight spot here!” Dugan said as he leaned over the side of the van and quickly ducked back behind it as a wave of bullets whizzed past him.

“I’d argue this is exactly the right time to flirt, but alright!” the man- Barnes- said, winking at you. Even in this situation, your heart skipped a beat.

“On your six!” yelled Jones.

You spun, raising your pistol in the direction he’d indicated. Sure enough, the Nazi troops had begun circling around your vans.

You aimed and pulled the trigger and the soldier out in front dropped like a stone, a red spot appearing in the center of his chest.

“Nice shot, Doll!” said Barnes, a wide grin appearing on his lips. “If we make it out of here alive, I’m taking you dancing!” he said as he took aim with his rifle at the soldier behind the one you’d taken out. He pulled the trigger and the Nazi dropped, dead as a doornail. He turned to look at you, smiling from ear to ear.

“What makes you think I’ll say yes?” you asked him incredulously. You spotted movement over his shoulder and took out the approaching enemy soldier before he made it onto the road.

Barnes looked over his shoulder, surprised, then back to you. “Thanks, Doll,” he said, lopsided grin doing unfair things to your already racing, adrenaline-filled heart. “And I suppose-”

“We got more incoming!” Dugan said, cutting across whatever Barnes was about to say.

You stood up slightly, peeking through the half-destroyed windows of the van. You quickly ducked back down as a rain of bullets destroyed what was left of the glass and whizzed over your head.

That… was a lot of Nazis. Apparently they’d called for backup.

A huge explosion nary twenty feet away threw shrapnel, dirt, and rocks every direction. A few of your soldiers hiding behind the neighboring van yelled as metal ripped through them, shredding their limbs and internal organs.

“No! Patterton! McKinley!” Dugan yelled, wincing at the carnage the blast left in its wake. “There’s gotta be at least two more companies out there!”

“Here they come!” Barnes yelled as he reloaded his rifle.

“I hate these guys,” you heard Dugan mutter under his breath as he peeked around the corner and fired a few rounds off.

You felt the ground shake around the same time your brain registered the odd noises coming from the battlefield.

“What the-” you dared to sneak a peak around the edge of the van and what you saw made your jaw drop.

Beams of blue light were decimating the Nazi ranks left and right. Every time one of the blasts connected with a soldier they seemed to vanish. No, that wasn’t quite right. It vaporized them. When it became clear the beams were only targeting the Nazi troops (who were quickly scattered by the onslaught), you and the surviving soldiers stood, gaping open-mouthed at the scene in front of you.

A giant tank finally rolled into sight and you all stared at it, dumb-struck.

“That looks… new,” Dugan said as he lowered his gun.

Then, to your horror, the main gun turned and pointed straight at all of you.

“Run!” Barnes yelled, turning on his heel to book it towards the forest on the other side of the road. You didn’t have to be told twice. You sprinted after him, cursing your lack of physical prowess. Maybe you should have gone jogging with Steve.

None of you made it very far.

You’d just made it to the edge of the trees when the main gun fired directly at your convoy. The blast quite literally knocked you off of your feet. The last thing you saw before you were knocked unconscious by the explosion was Sergeant Barnes’ arms wrapping around you.

* * *

“Aufwachen, fraulein,” came a raspy voice from above you. _Wake up, young lady_ your brain slowly translated.

You blinked slowly, the world too bright and your head throbbing too painfully for you to want to open your eyes.

“Ich sagte aurwachen!” the voice said again, this time more angrily. _I said wake up!_ your mind translated again.

You blinked blearily up towards its source and nearly screeched in fear.

There, standing above you, was a soldier. He was speaking German, but his uniform wasn’t Nazi. It was full black and his face was hidden by goggles and a terrifying mask.

“Aufstehen!“ he yelled, dragging you to your feet. Your brain didn’t need to translate that one: his meaning was clear. _Get up._

You realized then that your pistol must have fallen out of your hands when you’d been knocked unconscious. You cursed your horrid luck.

Suddenly, the last thing you saw before you blacked out flashed before your eyes and you spun, searching for-

Sergeant Barnes. He and the other soldiers were kneeling in a line, arms tied behind their backs, guns pointed at the backs of their heads. You could see a few of them staring at you helplessly, heads as far down as they could go while still being able to look at you. You caught a glimpse of the steel blue of Barnes’ eyes before a backhanded slap from the soldier that had dragged you up sent you spiraling back down to the ground.

“Warum bist du hier?” the soldier bellowed, placing a boot directly onto your stomach, nearly crushing your ribs. _Why are you here?_ “Rekrutieren die Amerikaner jetzt Frauen?“ he taunted. _Are the Americans recruiting women now?_

“Nein, Soldat,” you spat, grim satisfaction on your face when you realized they hadn’t removed your glove. The soldier looked down at you, startled that you were speaking German. “Ich bin hier, weil ich es sein will. Du solltest Angst haben,” you said venomously as you flicked your glove on and wrapped your hand around his ankle. _I am here because I want to be. You should be afraid._

Apparently whatever he was wearing didn’t protect from electrical currents because he immediately convulsed and hit the ground, body twitching as his cells fried.

You barely registered the whoops of appreciation from your fellow soldiers. Before you could move an inch the guns of half of the enemy soldiers present had their guns trained on you. You eyed them warily. If they were anything like the tank you saw earlier, one blast would be enough to erase you from existence.

“Wie interessant,” said a slimy voice. A couple of the soldiers parted to reveal a short, balding fat man. “You speak German and took out a Hydra soldier vif a single touch. Vut are you doing vif a band of bumbling American soldiers, fraulein?” the man asked, his accent thick.

“Someone has to stop and ask for directions, right?” you asked, defiant smirk on your lips.

“Oh, and you make jokes, too! I was curious before vut now I must know vy you are here,” he said, his voice sickly sweet. He motioned to two of the soldiers next to you and they hauled you to your feet, careful to avoid the glove on your hand.

“Vut is this?” the man asked, pointing to the prototype glove with obvious curiosity. “Vere did you get it?” he asked, studying it closely, but remaining just out of your reach.

The way he was talking down to you as though you’d stolen it made something inside of you snap. “I made it, you slimy sack of piss,” you said. He didn’t have time to move out of the way and you spat directly into his face.

He pulled a hankerchief out of his pocket and primly wiped your spit from his face. Once it was gone he shoved it back into his pocket and gave you a genuinely disarming, creepy smile that nearly made you shiver. “Charmant,” he said darkly. “Nimm das fraulein auch. Ich habe Gebrauch von ihren Fähigkeiten,” he told his soldiers. _Take the girl, too. I have use for her skills._

The second your brain registered the words you were fighting against the soldiers holding you. “Let me go! Lass mich gehen! Let me go, you bastards!” you screamed. You wouldn’t be some freak’s lab rat and you sure as hell wouldn’t help these sadistic bastards.

You noticed the scuffle happening in the line of American soldiers, vaguely recognizing Barnes, Dugan, and Jones trying to fight back, but the butt of a gun slammed into the back of your head and you once again surrendered to unconsciousness.

* * *

**Steve’s POV - half a day after your capture**

“What do you mean the Europe tour’s been postponed?” Steve asked the squirrely man who’d taken over your job while you were overseas.

“Haven’t gotten any details yet, Rogers. Just know something happened so we can’t go to Italy yet until things settle down,” the man said, eyes darting warily to and fro. He obviously didn’t like being cornered by such a large man, even if it _was_ Captain America.

Steve immediately started to panic. You were over in Italy. You’d left a day ago. There was no way you wouldn’t be there by now. If you were hurt or- He stopped that train of thought before it took him to darker places. “But (Y/N)-”

“She’s way behind Allied lines, Cap. I’m sure she’s safe. Of course, that area’s on lockdown now so she’ll have to stay put until everything clears up,” the weasel said, looking completely unconcerned about your safety. It made Steve’s blood boil but, as usual, there wasn’t anything he could do. He just had to hope you were safe.

“How long?” Steve asked, glaring down at the publicist.

“Hmm?” he hummed as he looked up from the tour schedule.

“How long until we can go on tour in Europe?” Steve asked, dislike for the man growing by the second.

“Oh… hmm,” he studied the schedule in his hands carefully. Steve spotted your careful notes in the margins and his stomach plummeted again. _Please be safe. “_ Looks like it’ll be… about a month,” the man said finally.

Steve’s fists clenched at his sides. The three most important people in his life were out on the front lines, and he was stuck in the States for an entire month longer than he was supposed to be.

“Hey, you alright, Rogers?” the man asked warily, looking up at Steve with a mix of concern and fear.

Apparently Steve’s frustration had gotten the better of him. He coached his face back into neutrality and turned away from the trembling man, heading towards his dressing room.

 _No, I’m not._ “Just fine, thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were captured in Italy along with other American soldiers. Zola has plans for you but you want none of it. You get to know some of the other prisoners during your incarceration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: language, torture, blood, violence

[Originally posted by cptnstevens](https://tmblr.co/ZUfMzo1nAzeOd)

**Your POV - Hydra Weapons Facility - The Alps - October 1943**

You blinked slowly and immediately winced in pain. Surely your brain was trying to escape the confines of your skull. It sure felt like it was.

“Zis is truly an impressive creation,” said a voice from a short distance away.

You looked up, taking in your surroundings as you did so.

You were in a tiny room, just big enough to hold a military-sized bed, a small table, and two chairs. The walls were a depressing shade of grey and there wasn’t a single window. A single dingy light bulb hung from a wire in the high ceiling, well out of your reach.

Your gaze eventually fell on the fat bespectacled man you’d met earlier… before you’d been knocked unconscious. “Ze circuits are most fascinating,” the man spoke up again as he studied your prototype shock glove.

You stared him down from the spot on your hard, lumpy bed, not wanting to give him any reaction. He studied you for a moment before he sighed and put the glove down on the table.

“Ver are my manners? My name is Doctor Arnim Zola. I am a chief scientist under Johann Schmidt, ze leader of Hydra,” he said, sly smile on his face.

You felt your blood freeze at the name. _Hydra_. You’d been captured by Hydra. As suddenly as your had blood frozen it began boiling, your anger getting the better of you.

“Your manners went out the door the second you told a guy to knock me out with his rifle,” you said, glaring at the weasily little man in front of you.

“Ah! So she does talk. I vus vundering ver all of zat fire had gone!” Zola said happily. “But zis thing-” he held up your glove and threw it back on the table in disgust “-it is a mere trinket compared to your work with Doctor Erskine,” he said malevolently, smiling as he watched your reaction.

Your eyes widened in horror and you felt the blood drain from your face. He knew. How did he know you worked under Erskine? Did he know about Stark?

“You look shocked. You should not be so surprised. Hydra knows many things,” Zola said mysteriously.

Your jaw clenched as you tried to bite down the panic. “I’m not helping you, chrome-dome. You’ll get bupkis from me,” you said, leveling a steely glare at him.

He frowned at that, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.

“I fink you vill, fraulein. Because every day you don’t I vill kill one of ze Allied soldiers here,” Zola said darkly, staring down his nose at you.

That made your blood run cold, but you called his bluff. “You only captured five or six of them, if I remember correctly. That won’t last very long,” you said, hating the words as you said them. You didn’t want to be the reason any of those good men died, but-

“I fink you misunderstand. Zis base is full of Allied prisoners. True, ze ones you came vith vould be ze first to die, of course. Vut I vill not run out any time soon,” he said, small smile on his face.

“I don’t believe you,” you said vehemently, glowering at the little man.

“Zat is fine. I haf arranged a tour anyway,” he said as he stood. He turned to you, face solemn. “Zis can be easy for you or it can be very, very hard. Either vay, I vill haf your cooperation,” he said as two guards opened the thick metal door to the cell.

You tried to scoot away from them, but you had nowhere to go. At the end of a futile struggle your wrists were cuffed together, as were your ankles, although the chain connecting them was long enough to allow you to walk.

“Zis way, zen,” Zola said once you’d been properly restrained, beckoning for you to follow him out of the cell.

When you didn’t move, one of the guards shoved you roughly forward. You nearly lost your balance because of the chains around your ankles, but managed to stay upright, stumbling towards Zola. You shoved down your pride and followed him; at least this way you might get to know the facility a little better. It could come in handy one day.

It didn’t take long for Zola’s statements to be proven true. It was made clear very quickly that there were a lot of Allied prisoners. There even seemed to be some Nazi prisoners in the base. Well, it was more like a factory… and the prisoners were being used as free labor. You’d heard about the Nazis doing similar things, so it didn’t come as a surprise to you, though it didn’t make the sight any less horrific. It seemed like most of the workers were wasting away. Once-proud men were reduced to shivering husks due to malnutrition and abuse. Some of them looked like they’d collapse if you so much as breathed on them but carried giant weapons and parts that were easily three times their weight.

You were going to be sick, and you’d only just started exploring the facility.

It wasn’t long until you got to the cells where the prisoners were kept. The stench was the first thing that hit you. That many bodies in such a small area was bound to reek, but-

“You are glad you are not staying here, yes?” Zola asked, motioning to the cages as you passed. The prisoners shouted insults at Zola in a dozen different languages, but he ignored them. Any particularly rowdy men got a swift jab in the gut with a metal baton from one of the guards. A few times you were pretty sure you heard bones crack.

“Hey, it’s (Y/N)! It’s the girl!” said a familiar voice. Your head swiveled and you immediately zeroed in on the voice.

“Dugan!” you said, freezing in front of his cage.

“It’s good to see you, little lady! Hey, you big lugs, wake up! The little lady’s alive!” he said, shoving Barnes and Jones awake. Jones woke up almost instantly, but it took Barnes a little while longer to rouse. The other men in the cell looked at you with interest. You didn’t recognize them and the sentiment seemed to be mutual.

What caught most of your attention, though, was the fact that Barnes was beaten black and blue. He cracked open a single eye; the other was so swollen and purple that he couldn’t open it. As soon as he focused on you, though, he surged to the front of the cage.

“Doll! You’re alright! Did this meat-head do anything to you?” he asked urgently, eyeing you up and down for any injuries.

“No, no! I’m alright. He hasn’t hurt me-”

Your voice died in your throat as a guard leveled his gun directly at Sergeant Barnes’ face.

“Zis one put up quite ze fight when ve knocked you out, fraulein. He seems to want to volunteer as ze first to die because of your stubbornness,” Zola said, from behind you. You looked over your shoulder at him in horror. He wasn’t bluffing. He could kill a new soldier every day for a year and still have some left over… and you knew he would do it.

Barnes looked from you to Zola and accurately guessed what was going on. “Don’t help him, Doll. I’m not worth it. Don’t you dare help that slimy-”

A swift punch to the gut silenced his next words, and Dugan and Jones surged forward, yelling angrily at the guards, which earned them painful-sounding smacks across the chest with the metal baton.

“Eet is your choice. However, my time is short. I vill not wait around all day. I need your answer in ze next ten seconds,” he said, almost sounding bored.

He counted down slowly. You looked from Barnes, Jones, and Dugan, to the gun the Hydra soldier was holding- which had started glowing an unearthly blue- to Zola, who was staring at you, small smirk dancing on his lips.

“Three…” your heart hammered in your chest. Barnes was staring at you, shaking his head, his jaw set in determination as his eyes bored into yours.

“Two…” Dugan and Jones were screaming at Zola and the guard.

“O-”

“Fine! Fine, I’ll do it! Just leave them alone, please!” you said, turning to Zola.

“No, (Y/N)!” Barnes despaired, sounding even more broken than he looked. It made your heart twist in your chest.

Zola grinned like the cat that caught the canary. “I am glad you haf come to see it my vay, fraulein. But it’s best if you stay here for a night to see exactly how nicely I have treated you,” Zola said with disarming lightness, nodding to the guards on either side of you. “Stand back, or you vill be shot,” Zola warned the guys in the cage as one of the guards opened the door. The other one quickly undid the shackles around your wrist and ankles and the only thing keeping you from making a break for it were the guns trained on you and the boys. The second the cuffs were off the guard shoved you into the already cramped cell.

Dugan caught you one-handed and glared at the guards as they slammed the door shut. Barnes placed a hand gently on your arm, drawing your attention from the retreating forms of Zola and his guards.

Slowly, the tension in the room faded a bit, and the lot of you sat down. You leaned against the bars, squished between Barnes and Dugan.

“Damnit Bucky, you nearly got yourself killed,” Dugan said, glaring at Barnes over your head.

_Wait, what?_

“I don’t regret it. She shouldn’t be helping them,” Barnes said, glaring defiantly at Dugan with his one good eye.

_How common was the name Bucky? And Steve did say something about him being a sergeant, right? Had he ever mentioned a last name?_

“Well it’s done with and there’s no use arguing now. Though I do have to ask, who is she?” said one of the men you didn’t recognize. His accent was distinctly British.

“She’s-” Barnes began, but you cut across him.

“My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I’m perfectly capable of speaking for myself,” you said, eyeing Barnes critically. “I’m a private military contract. Worked mostly for the SSR,” you explained. “And you are?” you asked, eyeing the man up and down.

“Major James Falsworth of the British Armed Forces. 3rd Independent Parachute Brigade,” he said, holding a hand out for you to shake. The cell was so small you barely had to lean forward to reach his hand.

“And you, sir?” you asked, turning to the man who hadn’t said anything yet.

“That’s Jacques. He’s french. His English isn’t great,” said Jones.

“Oh, mon erreur. Je m’appelle (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Comment vous appelez-vous?” you asked, extending your hand to him. _My mistake. My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). What’s your name?_

His face visibly brightened as he shook your hand. “Ah, mademoiselle! Je suis tellement content que tu sois là. Jones seul est une pauvre compagnie! Je m’appelle Jacques Dernier!” he said excitedly, shaking your hand enthusiastically. _Ah, Miss! I’m so glad you’re here. Jones alone is poor company. My name is Jacques Dernier!_

“Ça fait mal, mon ami!“ Jones said, looking at Jacques in mock hurt. _That hurts, my friend!_

Dugan, Barnes, and Pinkerton looked between the three of you, obviously unable to follow the conversation.

“Enchanté de vous rencontrer. J'aimerais que ce soit dans de meilleures circonstances,” you said, giving him a sad smile, which he returned likewise. _It’s nice to meet you. I just wish it was under better circumstances._

“D’accord,” _Agreed_ Jacques said simply, to which Jones nodded in agreement.

You turned your smile to Barnes, who you hadn’t technically been formally introduced to yet. “You took a beating for me and I don’t even know your name,” you said, leaning towards Dugan so you could get a better look at Barnes.

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th, ma’am,” he said, taking your hand in his so he could plant a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

“Even with your face like that in the middle of a Nazi prison, you’re trying to pick up a woman. Unbelievable,” Dugan said, rolling his eyes at Barnes.

Barnes seemed to not even hear Dugan, although they were only about two feet apart. “You can call me Bucky, though,” he said with a smile.

Yup, you hadn’t been going crazy earlier. He really was named Bucky. It couldn’t be… right?

“Do you know Steve Rogers?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Whatever Bucky had been expecting, it wasn’t that. He froze in the middle of dropping your hand, swollen and bruised fingers suddenly tightening their grip. “You know Stevie?” he asked, eye widening in surprise.

You nodded eagerly. “So you _are_ the Bucky he always talks about!” you said excitedly. You really wished you were meeting him under better circumstances, but you’d finally met the [in]famous Bucky Barnes. Bucky nodded eagerly, light returning to his eyes at the thought of Steve.

“Hang on, do you two know each other?” Dugan asked, looking between you and Bucky in confusion.

“Yes! Well, no. Kind of? I worked with his best friend back in the States and I’ve heard all about him, so it kind of feels like I know him already. I never thought I’d meet him like this, but-” you shrugged helplessly.

“How is he? Still getting into alley fights? And wait, you said the ‘states,’ not New Yo-”

“Ah, yeah. Well, about that. He-” you froze, suddenly unsure. You shouldn’t talk about Erskine’s experiment. Not here. It was too dangerous.

Bucky ducked his head so he was eye level with you, his one good eye searching your face in concern. “Doll…?” he asked tentatively, worry seeping into his voice.

You snapped out of your train of thought, gaze locking with his. You smiled guiltily. “Well, he’s not getting into fights against guys twice his size anymore. He’s, uh… helping raise a lot of money back home to aid in the war effort,” you said, trying to reassure him with the truth while also not revealing any dangerous secrets.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at you, not missing your purposeful vagueness. “And how did you meet him?” he asked, tilting his head quizzically as he looked down at you.

“I met him while he was in training. I was one of the people tasked with observing him and the other recruits, but we became friends after he started his… new job,” you said, wincing.

Bucky looked at you as though he was believing you less and less by the minute. You sighed and pulled him down by his jacket until your lips were at his ear. 

“I’m sorry. I can’t go into detail. It’s too dangerous. There are secrets that Zola and Schmidt want very badly, it seems. I don’t want to tell you anything that could put you in danger, but I _am_ telling you the truth,” you said earnestly. You leaned back, apologetic half smile on your lips.

He searched your face for any signs of deceit but apparently didn’t find any because he eventually nodded. “I’m just glad to hear that punk’s okay,” he said finally. “Thank you for letting me know,” he said, giving you a small, warm smile.

Sensing you were done talking, Dugan piped up. “We should get some rest. Something tells me we’re gonna need as much as we can get,” Dugan said quietly as he shrugged off his jacket. He was just about to hand it to you when an army green jacket appeared in front of your face.

You followed the arm attached to the jacket and locked eyes with Bucky.

“It gets cold in here at night,” he explained, small smile on his lips.

“Then you should keep it, Sarge. That shirt doesn’t look very warm,” you said, eyeing his thin cotton shirt critically.

“I insist, Doll,” he said quietly. You noted how his eyes crinkled when he smiled. It made your heart flutter in your chest.

You sighed and took the coat, giving him a small smile. “Thank you,” you said timidly, throwing the jacket over yourself like a blanket.

“My pleasure,” he said, smiling down at you, his busted lip stretching dangerously.

“Though if you get cold, I insist you take it back!” you said stubbornly, determinedly staring him down.

A single laugh escaped his lips at your demand, but he nodded. “Whatever you say, (Y/N).”

You glanced away from him self-consciously, your cheeks heating under his gaze. You pulled your knees to your chest, thankful you’d decided to wear pants, and tried to get comfortable against the bars of the cage.

It wasn’t easy, but eventually the snores of Dugan and even breathing of Bucky lulled you to sleep.

And thus began the worst month of your life to date: sandwiched between two soldiers in a tiny cell in a Hydra death camp.

* * *

Some time during the night, you woke up to a very cold, shivering, yet still asleep Bucky Barnes sidling up next to you.

You were so exhausted that you barely registered your actions, haphazardly throwing his jacket over him as you leaned up against him and rested your head on his shoulder.

He stopped shaking enough that you were able to fall back asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Something slammed into the bars of the cage, sending the vibrations straight through your entire body.

“Vake up!” someone yelled, German accent thick.

Jacques and James were up in a heartbeat but you, Jones, Bucky, and Dugan were still in a groggy daze by the time the Hydra soldier’s patience had worn out. Without warning he stuck his taser to the bars of the cage and you all cried out in agony as the current ran through your bodies.

“Aufwachen! Es ist Zeit für die Arbeit!” he yelled as he removed the taser. _Wake up! It is time for work!_ Although all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, you stood, not wanting to receive another shock. The guys stood up quickly, too. You could tell Bucky was still hurting from his beating, but not a single noise of complaint left his lips. He hastily threw his jacket on, only remembering once it was on that he’d given it to you last night. He glanced at of you out of the corner of his eye, eyebrow raised in question. You were happy to see he could open both eyes again, though a nasty dark purple bruise made him look like he was half raccoon.

“You were cold,” you whispered as the soldier moved away to another cage.

He smiled guiltily and scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “Thanks, then,” he whispered.

“Ah, fraulein. How was your night with the rabble?”

You were so focused on Bucky that you hadn’t heard or seen him approach.

You turned your head to look at Zola, still as fat, bald, and evil as you remembered.

“I hope zey treated you vell?” he asked, a truly disgusting smile gracing his features.

“Go to hell, Zola,” you spat, mind reeling sickening at his implications.

He feigned offense, _tsk_ ing loudly. “Now, now. Zer is no need for that kind of talk. Are you ready to tell me about your work, fraulein?” he asked, sickly sweet voice setting your nerves on edge.

“Don’t do it, Doll. Don’t help this bastard,” Bucky said fervently as he stepped protectively between you and Zola, staring the small man down through the cold steel bars of the cage.

Zola let out a long, annoyed sigh, glaring discontentedly at Bucky and the other soldiers who had come to stand just behind you. “I do not haf time for zis,” he said, motioning to the guards who had followed him into the room.

They stepped forward swiftly, blue energy guns pointed directly at the guys. They all stared defiantly at the guards, but you could see Bucky trembling minutely in front of you.

“I’ll go with you. Just… please don’t hurt them,” you said quietly. Bucky turned to you, a look of stubborn hurt on his face. “I’ll be alright. I can’t let them hurt all of you,” you said quietly, just loud enough for the guys to hear.

“Little lady…” Dugan said warily, eyes darting between Zola and you. “Be careful,” he said quietly, realizing this situation was out of his hands.

You nodded, not daring to turn to him to say goodbye.

“I will not hurt zem if you come wif me,” Zola said, looking all too smug. You didn’t miss his careful wording. _He_ wouldn’t hurt them, but that didn’t mean any of the other guards or wardens wouldn’t.

Still, the guns left little room for argument, even if they weren’t trained on you.

“Open the cage, then, you greasy pig,” you said, smiling wickedly at Zola.

Zola’s smile slipped slightly at that, anger flashing quickly across his eyes before he coached his face back into neutrality. “Öffne den Käfig,” he told the guards. One of them kept his gun trained on the guys while the other unlocked the cage.

You stepped carefully around Bucky, who continued to stare murderously at Zola.

“You be careful, Doll,” you heard him whisper as you passed. You didn’t dare turn around, afraid any unexpected action would lead to the vaporization of the boys or yourself. Still, his and Dugan’s concern for you warmed your heart. Maybe their concern would be enough to get you through the hell that was to be your day.

The second you’d stepped out of the cage the door slammed shut again, locked into place. Cuffs were placed on your wrists and ankles a moment later, and just like that, you were being shoved unceremoniously out of the prisoner holding room.

“We haf so much work to do, fraulein!” Zola said eagerly, throwing you an excited, manic smile at you over his shoulder.

“Piss off,” you said angrily, glaring at the back of his balding head as you were escorted around the compound. You took in your surroundings as you walked, trying to piece together a mental map of the facility. The two huge guards on either side of you with guns trained on your back shoved any thoughts of escape out the window, though.

“Zat is no way to talk to me, fraulein. Ve are going to be spending much time together,” he said ominously, leading you down a dark, creepily lit hallway.

You chose not to answer that. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Your choices were limited, and you’d do everything in your power to keep yourself and the boys downstairs alive… and you sure as hell wouldn’t make it easy for Zola to pick your brain.

Zola came to a halt in front of a white door and opened it, motioning for you to enter. “Zis is the beginning of a fortuitous venture, fraulein,” he said, grinning at you as you entered what could only be described as the laboratory of a mad scientist.

As you studied all of the equipment- you had no idea what the purpose was for half of the machines in the room- a thought played itself over and over again in your head.

_What have I gotten myself into?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You deal with being coerced by Zola. The boys are put to work in the Hydra facility and are forced to come to terms with their internment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: language, *torture*, blood, violence, death  
> *A lot of this chapter was taken from recounts of conditions at Auschwitz. If that is upsetting or triggering to you, skip the parts from Bucky’s POV. *

[Originally posted by everyeverything101](https://tmblr.co/ZSydhh2KlLHjb)

“I know you do not vant to help. I understand zat. As a show of good vill, I vill gif more food to you and your soldiers the harder you vork to help me,” he said, as though he was the very picture of charity and kindness and not some mad scientist who worked people to death.

With a snap of his fingers a Hydra soldier walked in the lab, a tray of food in his arms. It may have only been a hunk of bread, lukewarm watery soup, and a cup of terrible coffee, but just then it looked and smelled like a five star meal. It took everything you had not to pounce on the pathetic meal and devour it in seconds; you hadn’t eaten in at least a day, probably two or more.

“I don’t know how I can help you. The weapons you have far exceed my own designs,” you said coolly as you walked around the room, assessing all of the equipment. You had to admit, it was an impressive setup. It made your lab back home look like a child’s toy by comparison.

“Ve vill start wif what you know about Doctor Erskine’s formula, yes?” he said, tone leaving you little room to argue.

Still, you had to try. “I’m not a chemist. I never understood Abraham’s work,” you said shrugging helplessly.

“Yes, but our intelligence suggests you vere very close. No doubt he talked wif you often about his formula for ze serum?” he asked, raising a wispy eyebrow at you.

“Well, yes, but-”

“Zen you may haf information we do not know,” Zola said stubbornly, throwing a file onto the desk in front of you.

Somewhat hampered by the cuffs, you opened the file and rifled through it. It was all the data they had on the serum. Some of it was in English, but most of it was in German. Bits here and there looked familiar, but it was obvious they hadn’t cracked Abraham’s formula yet. Not completely

“I’m telling you, him talking to me about his serum was like placings a first grader in college-level organic chemistry. It was beyond me,” you said despairingly. It was the truth; you weren’t a chemist! You were an inventor! Technology was your forte, not the chemical makeup of the universe!

“You vill try,” he said coldly, glaring at you through his round spectacles. “Read ze files by noon today. I vill return shortly after midday to check on your progress. You _vill_ have helpful imput, or there _vill_ be consequences,” he said dangerously. “Zese men will keep you company so zat you do not get any ideas,” he said, motioning to the two soldiers behind him. Your eyes flicked warily to the guns they held, then back to Zola.

His threat was clear: Don’t help him and someone dies. Try to escape and you get hurt or killed… or someone dies.

You glared at him. “Understood,” you said, flicking open to the front of the file, and began reading.

Satisfied, Zola left to go do god knows what, leaving you in the stony silence of the laboratory.

* * *

**Bucky’s POV**

[Originally posted by captaincentenarian](https://tmblr.co/ZMNc-g2BRl0HD)

As soon as you left, Bucky moved to sit down again, but Falsworth caught his arm, shaking his head minutely at him. “Stay standing, or they’ll beat you,” he said quietly, eyes straight ahead.

Bucky straightened and faced forward, jaw working anxiously as he looked around the room. Nearly all of the prisoners were standing eerily still. Some weren’t standing though and, upon closer inspection… weren’t even moving. Bucky’s blood ran cold at the sight. He’d heard a bit about Nazi work camps, but he never imagined-

Movement on the opposite end of the room caught Bucky’s attention. There, flanked by two guards with those crazy blue guns, was a cruel-looking man with a clip board. He seemed to stop at each cell, working with agonizing slowness.

“What is he doing? Why are we just standing around?” Bucky whispered as quietly as he could to Falsworth. Though they didn’t say anything, he could tell Gabe and Dum Dum were listening close to his answer.

“Roll Call, or at least that’s what everyone calls it. They’re just taking inventory, though… of _us_. They drag the dead out of the cells and put new men in,” Falsworth whispered, sounding disgusted but resigned.

Bucky’s fists clenched at his sides as he bit back his anger. They treated them like cattle and once they died they were simply tossed into the trash. Their captors weren’t human; they were demons.

“Where are the other wardens?” Bucky whispered, not able to see any other signs of movement.

“There’s only one,” Falsworth said solemnly, eyes flicking to the warden, who’d only managed to move past two cages since they’d begun talking.

“But there are hundreds of cages! We’ll be standing here for-”

“Hours, yes,” Falsworth whispered, nodding almost imperceptibly. “It’s not uncommon for men to die during roll call, especially on colder days. They don’t care, though. They just bring more prisoners in,” he whispered despondently.

Bucky remembered the pathetic excuse for a dinner they’d served just before you’d shown up last night; a minuscule hunk of bread, a piece of moldy cheese, a tiny piece of salami and a cup of watery, cold soup to wash it down. Even after he choked all of it down at the insistence of Falsworth, he was still left feeling hungry. He had a sinking feeling he’d never feel full again. The bitter cold, the restricted amount of food, the unsanitary living conditions, and now, standing for hours, their intentions were made clear. This place was meant to crush a person’s spirit and cause you wither down into a husk until you finally died. 

It was hard to bite back the bile rising in his throat. When he signed up to fight in war, he really thought you’d actually end up a prisoner of war, you know? Sure, he knew it was a possibility, but…

He tried his best to put on a brave face. He was a Sergeant of the United States Army, and they could make him work, but they couldn’t make him fear them.

* * *

Bucky considered himself to be pretty strong, even before he joined the army. The work they had him and the other men doing, though, made his lungs scream for oxygen and hot sweat cascade down his face, even in the freezing facility. The sheer amount of machinery they had to move by hand was appalling and there seemed to be a nearly unending amount of it. He couldn’t even begin to guess what the weapons and parts he was moving could do. They were so beyond anything he’d ever seen that they may as well have been alien.

Bucky learned quickly to keep his head down and work. Looking around too much, talking, or asking questions resulted in being struck hard with a guard’s metal baton.

At some point in the day- what must have been around noon- they were ordered to stop and head to the mess hall. Guards on catwalks trained their guns on him and the other inmates, while guards on the ground shuffled them into the mess hall.

There weren’t any seats or tables, just a huge room with a giant open panel on one end, where the smell of food wafted from. Prisoners worked the kitchen, watched closely by guards; the penalty for stealing food was death. Dugan, Gabe, and Bucky followed Falsworth and Dernier into one of the lines, the lot of them looking practically dead on their feet.

Halfway through their “meal” the doors they’d come through earlier opened, and a man flanked by at least six guards entered. Immediately, the other wardens flocked to him. Bucky could see them all talking tensely. It didn’t take a genius to figure out this man was important.

“Who is _he_?” Bucky asked Falsworth quietly, jerking his head in the direction of the wardens.

Falsworth glanced towards where Bucky had indicated and blanched. He looked away quickly, suddenly very interested in his tray of food. “That’s Colonel Lohmer. He’s in charge of keeping track of the prisoners here; the head warden,” Falsworth whispered. Obviously Lohmer was someone you didn’t want to cross.

Bucky glanced surreptitiously back at the Colonel, who seemed to have finished his conversation with his underlings, and was making his way back out of the mess hall.

Only ten minutes after they’d received their food, they were sent back to work again. Bucky’s muscles and joints were already crying out in protest, and it was only his first day.

* * *

**Your POV**

Just like he said he would, Zola reappeared just after noon, followed by a man carrying another tray of food. The tray from this morning lay empty beside you; you’d tried to deny the pitiful meal out of spite, but your stomach wouldn’t let you focus.

“Haf we made some discoveries, fraulein?” Zola asked curiously, smile on his face as he studied you through his glasses.

“Yes,” you said bitterly, setting down the file as you glowered at him.

“Oh, wunderbar! Please, tell me all about it!” he said as he took the seat opposite of you. You had to fight the urge to strangle him with your bare hands; you wouldn’t succeed before you were shot or restrained by his guards and it wouldn’t end well for you or any of the guys.

“Food first,” you said stubbornly, nodding your head at the tray. You wanted at least something to go your way. “And I want to hear you say again how you’ll uphold your promise about giving the soldiers more food. I want to see it,” you said, glaring at him.

Zola shrugged and waved the guard carrying the food forward. “Fine, zat is acceptable… _if_ you haf relevant information,” he said, eyes glinting wickedly.

The food was set down in front of you and you immediately tore into the chunk of bread. The earlier meal hadn’t done much to settle your angry stomach, and you were soon hungry again. The stale bread tasted way better than it had any right to.

You opened the file and turned to the page you’d been looking at earlier; a bastardized version of Erskine’s formula looked up at you.

You pointed to a specific spot on the huge molecule. “This chain, right here. It’s wrong. This should be a double bond with oxygen. And here, here, and here-” you pointed to each spot in turn, “-these are wrong. I can’t remember exactly what that chain is supposed to be or which element that molecule bonds to, but I know it’s not that one,” you said, despondently.

“Sank you, fraulein. That is most illuminating. Is zat all you have discovered?” he asked, slimy smile making your skin crawl.

“… Yes,” you said stonily, hastily scooping the soup down your throat.

“Now, fraulein. I thought you would be smart enough to know that lying to me will only hurt you,” Zola said, frown replacing his creepy smile.

“That’s all I know about the formula, I swear!” you said stubbornly, glaring at him as you shoved the tiny slice of salami in your mouth; you barely chewed it, swallowing thickly.

“I believe that. However, I vill gif you one last chance to tell the truth. If you choose not to take it, I shall be forced to take drastic measures,” he said darkly, sending a chill down your spine.

You clenched your jaw and flicked to a different page, where they had pictures of the lab where they’d tested their failed serum. “Your setup is part of your problem. The reason your last test failed is in part because your serum wasn’t ready, but also because you didn’t have a cradle,” you said angrily, jabbing your finger at the pictures.

“A ‘cradle’?” Zola asked, eyebrow raised.

“Oh, right. Your agent killed himself before he could report back. You guys didn’t know about that. That explains why I don’t see plans for one in here,” you said bitterly. Shit. There went another secret. Just how long could you continue to selfishly save yourself and the guys if it meant that Hydra would gain an army of super soldiers just as strong as Steve, but without his conscience.

Your fists clenched tightly at the thought.

“You vill build one of zese cradles, zen,” Zola said, looking at you expectantly.

“The cradle was Stark’s brainchild! Not mine!” you panicked. I mean, you had worked on it a lot, but you didn’t know if you could make one from scratch! You’d been mostly working on your own projects while Howard tinkered away at the Vita Ray Cradle.

Zola didn’t seem to care about your protests. “I vant the first draft of blueprints and a preliminary draft of materials needed by tonight,” Zola said, standing. “My assistant vill get you vhat you need. Seven hours, Miss (Y/L/N).”

You watched in horror as he left without another word. You had seven hours to figure out how Stark’s cradle worked. You’d worked on it a bit and done some tests, but-

“Bugger it all,” you muttered angrily, throwing your head down on the desk.

* * *

By the time Zola returned, you’d made a rough blueprint of the cradle. To your relief, it seemed like the list of materials you needed would take even Hydra a while to collect. It would give you time to sabotage the construction of the cradle without Zola noticing.

Zola looked over the blueprints with interest, asking you for clarification in a few places. Eventually, though, he seemed satisfied and rolled them carefully up and set them back on the table. “Very good, fraulein. As I promised, your soldiers will get extra food tonight,” he said, although his smile was tight and cruel; it made your stomach flip with grim anticipation. “However, zer is one other matter,” he said lightly, but your heart was racing.

You didn’t know how, but you knew whatever he was about to say wouldn’t end nicely for you. 

“You lied to me, Miss (Y/L/N), and I need you to know that that is not acceptable,” he said, turning his slimy smile on you once again. “I tried being nice, vut that does not seem to vork. So, you vill be taught a harsh lesson.”

You barely had time to process his words before the rough gloved hands of two guards clamped down around your upper arms and literally dragged you from the lab, kicking and screaming.

“Let me go! Ire Bastarde! Zola!” you raged, trying to rip yourself free from their grasp, to no avail.

“Zis could have been easy for you, fraulein. I’m sorry you have made it so hard on yourself. Please do not make me do zis again,” he said, walking a few feet behind you and your guards.

“Du bist ein dicker, sadistischer kleiner Mann und ich bring dich selbst um!” you screeched at him. _You’re a fat, sadistic little bastard and I’ll kill you myself._

At that, one of the guards gave you a full-power sucker punch to the gut. 

Your breath left you in a _whoosh_ and you nearly vomited on the spot.

Zola _tsk_ ed. “No threats please, fraulein. It is unbecoming,” he said as you were dragged deeper and deeper into the facility. You struggled the entire way; if they were going to beat you or torture you, you’d at least make it difficult for them.

All too soon they turned into a small room that forcibly reminded you of the room you’d first woken up in, except the only things inside if were a single chair with restraints and a table laden with what you could guess were torture instruments.

You were shoved into the chair and your wrists and ankles were secured before you could even put up much of a fight. A thick strap across your chest officially ensured you couldn’t move more than a few millimeters in any way.

A man whose face was hidden by a mask approached with a filthy, tattered rag, which he unceremoniously shoved in your mouth after one of the guards had pried your mouth open.

“Ich bin sicher, deine Schreie sind hübsch, aber wir wollen nicht, dass du dir die Zunge abbeiust,” he said almost sensually. You could hear the sadistic smile in his voice. _I’m sure your screams are pretty, but we don’t want you to bite your tongue off.  
_

“Berühre nicht ihre dominante Hand oder ihren Kopf; Ich brauche sie in der Lage zu arbeiten,” Zola told the torturer. He nodded at the orders, fingers ghosting over his tools. _Don’t touch her dominant hand or her head; I need her able to work._

His words sent a chill of horror down your spine. This was really happening. You were about to be tortured by Hydra.

You wanted to beg for mercy; promise you wouldn’t lie again. You’d work all night to make up for it… but you knew that it wouldn’t help. You tried to keep a brave face, but your eyes betrayed you and tears leaked from your eyes and left tracks down your cheeks.

“Lass uns anfangen, junger Fräulein.”

Your brain was going into overdrive and you barely even heard his words.

 _No no no no no_ , was all you could think.

Then, the pain began, and all you could do was scream.

* * *

**Bucky’s POV**

[Originally posted by dancing-at-the-funeralparty](https://tmblr.co/ZX8Swn22pb6bz)

“Just eat it, Bucky,” Dugan said as he rolled his eyes at Bucky.

Zola and a warden had dropped by the holding cells earlier and thrown them an entire loaf of bread. It was small, but easily a days worth of rations for the five of them. They’d divided it evenly and even threw some of it to the men in neighboring cages when the wardens weren’t looking.

Before he’d left, Zola had left them with some troubling parting words. “ _When she comes back, make sure you tell her that I held up my end of the ze bargain,_ ” he’d said, his voice grating on Bucky’s ears.

“We don’t even know what happened to (Y/N). You heard Zola,” Bucky said obstinately, glaring at the bread in his hand like it had insulted his mother.

“Well, not eating the bread isn’t going to help her. Just eat it,” Dugan said exasperatedly.

Bucky sighed. Dum Dum was right, but it didn’t make him feel any less guilty as he tore into the chunk of bread. At least this way he might be able to keep his strength up; he could barely move after the grueling work they’d put him through today.

One word from Zola’s demand stuck in Bucky’s head. _“When”_ not _“if”_. She was coming back, it was just a matter of time. He hoped Zola hadn’t been lying about that. He tore through the piece of bread in seconds.

Movement near the doors caught everyone’s attention, hundreds of eyes turning to stare, lamp-like, at what was going on.

The guys leaned against the bars of the cage, trying to get a better view. It was only once they were about fifteen feet away that Bucky knew why he felt sick to his stomach. He was finally able to discern exactly what the odd shape approaching them was: you being dragged by your arms by two guards. Even from this distance, Bucky could see that one of your hands was a bloody mess and your skin was horribly discolored from fresh bruises.

He thought he’d be relieved when he saw you again… but he never expected this.

The closer you got, the worse he realized your injuries were. The guards stopped in front of the cage, one of them dropping you unceremoniously to point his gun at them. “Treten Sie zurück,” one of the guards ordered. Bucky had learned that one quickly. _Stand back_. But he was frozen, staring at you in mute shock. Your eyes were staring straight ahead, completely devoid of emotion. It was like you couldn’t even see. Luckily, he was saved a beating by Dugan pulling him roughly back away from the cage door.

One of them opened the barred door quickly and literally threw you inside. Bucky and Jones caught you before you could hit the ground and the cage slammed shut, guards leaving without another word.

Bucky and Jones carefully lowered you to the ground. Bucky balled his jacket up and laid it under your head while Jacques assessed your injuries. Bucky glanced over you, too. A few of your fingernails were missing and the ones that weren’t were a bloody mess. Your thin shirt had holes burned into it and he could see the skin beneath wasn’t much better off. Your arms and legs were swollen with bruises and if he had to guess from the way you breathed so shallowly, your ribs were either badly bruised or fractured.

“Little miss…” Dugan said sadly, looking down at you as though you were about to shatter at any moment. You gave no sign that you’d heard him, though, gaze far away.

“Doll… (Y/N)…” Bucky said quietly.

At the sound of your name, you blinked slowly and seemed to come back to yourself slightly, eyes sliding from the ceiling to Bucky. Your gaze was unfocused and you blinked, as though you were trying to get it focus on him.

You opened your mouth to speak, but only your hissing breath came out. You’d screamed until your voice died.

“Shh, shh. Get… get some rest, Doll,” Bucky said, running his hand gently over your messy hair.

You didn’t have the energy to argue and simply nodded once, eyes closing, and fell asleep almost immediately, your body unable to keep itself conscious any longer.

Bucky prayed you would wake up.

“I’m going to kill them all,” he whispered, brow furrowing in anger as he stared down at your prone form.

“No,” Dugan said quietly.

“I don’t care, Dugan. Look what they did to-”

“ _We’re_ going to kill them all,” Dugan said, clasping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Count me in,” said Falsworth, staring at you sadly.

“Me, too,” said Gabe, jaw set in determination. He turned to Jacques. “Et vous? Voulez-vous tuer des méchants?”

A nearly manic grin lit up Jacques’ face at the question. “Ah, oui, mon ami. Ce serait avec plaisir,” he said, grinning wickedly.

“We’re in,” Jones said, grinning.

Bucky nodded at each of them, taking solace in their support of his insanity. “Then we have some planning to do.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys concoct a dangerous plan. You focus on trying to keep yourself and the others alive while also sabotaging your work. Things don’t go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: language, *torture*, blood, violence, death
> 
> *A lot of this chapter was taken from recounts of conditions at Auschwitz.*
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t speak German, in case that wasn’t obvious already. This is all google translate, so I apologize for any botched translations (French is also iffy, but I actually speak some of that).

[Originally posted by unravelingthepain](https://tmblr.co/Z1gxvd2MvCtfj)

**Bucky’s POV**

You still weren’t awake by the time roll call started. He and the guys had been up half the night planning, only going to sleep once Dugan insisted that they had time and needed as much rest as they could get.

To no one’s surprise, Zola appeared to get you shortly after the wake up call. They had to face the bars of their cage while two guards came in and collected your limp form. You were so weak from the torture that even their rough jostling and yelled commands didn’t pierce the veil of your unconsciousness.

The second he heard the door slam shut, Bucky rushed to the door of the cage, watching anxiously as they carried you away, bright blue eyes flashing. His jaw worked, clenching and unclenching in anger, as you disappeared around the corner, slung over some scumbag’s shoulder. He wanted to keep you safe. Help you. Never let them touch you or anyone else ever again… but he had to stay alive to do that and slugging a Hydra soldier in his stupid face with guns trained on him and his backup was a bad plan, sure to get him and the other guys killed.

No, he had to play it smart.

* * *

The days passed by agonizingly slowly. He and the guys hadn’t seen you since you’d returned bloody and beaten that one night, but they were still receiving extra food, which led Bucky and the others to believe you were still alive.

Every night they planned under the noses of their captors. They didn’t dare plan with the other prisoners in the fear that they’d be turned in before they had a chance to make their move. They hoped that their fellow prisoners would hop on board at the scent of freedom. It was a gamble, but one they felt was necessary to take.

While they worked, they memorized guard rotations and patrol patterns. Who worked where, when. Which prisoners seemed most likely to help. They studied the guard’s equipment so they knew where all the weak points were.

According to Gabe it was three weeks after they’d been captured and they were almost done gathering information. They’d act two days from now.

Dugan didn’t want to move quite that soon, but Falsworth and Dernier insisted they moved as soon as possible. The longer they were kept prisoner the weaker they got.

Bucky couldn’t argue with that. Army food may not have been particularly nutritious or delicious, but there was hardly a speck of fat on his bones anymore. He was all lean muscle from working twelve or more hours a day, and even _that_ was cannibalizing itself in an attempt to keep his body alive. Falsworth and Dernier were even worse off, of course; they’d been there for nearly three weeks longer than himself, Gabe, and Dum Dum.

Bucky’s eyes darted around the room as he worked, surreptitiously studying the guards and the layout of the production area he was working in.

_Two seconds until-_

Just on time, two guards came to relieve the others at the door.

Bucky began counting in his head again. Half an hour until the next guard rotation there, five minutes until they rotated on the catwalk.

He glanced at the other doorway, the one that led to “the yard,” as the other prisoners called it. It was where they kept all the tanks and weapons they produced there in the factory.

A guard passed by his work station, right on schedule, and he quickly diverted his eyes to the table, cold, stiff fingers doing their best to assemble the gun parts in front of him. As soon as he couldn’t hear the guard’s footfalls anymore, he glanced back up just in time to catch the change of the guard.

That was when he heard it. The high-pitched keening scream that was far higher than any of the men here could produce. He didn’t know _how_ he knew, but he knew it was you. The gun parts in his hand clattered to the table, sounding much louder in the near-quiet room. Other prisoners around him turned to look at him, surprised. No one just… stopped working. The consequences were horrific.

Bucky paid them no mind, head swiveling, searching for the source, or at least a direction to start running in. They were hurting you. Again. He had to make it stop.

He didn’t make it more than halfway down the assembly line before he was floored by a bone-shattering punch to the solar plexus.

Bucky wheezed, black spots dancing in his vision, as he attempted to catch his breath, and stared up at his assailant. He blanched at the man towering above him. Of all the people to catch him being insubordinate-

“What are we doing? Running? We can’t have that. Come, let us teach you a lesson,” the man sneered. His accent was thick but Bucky would have been able to understand the intent from the malice in his tone alone.

Two more guards appeared on either side of him and dragged him to his feet. Bucky didn’t have the energy or presence of mind to fight back, still stunned from the punch as he was.

The other prisoners kept their heads down, not willing to risk looking up as Head Warden Lohmer and his men dragged Bucky out of the room. In the far corner of the room, Dugan and Falsworth looked on in horror. The chances of seeing their friend alive again were… almost nonexistent.

* * *

**Your POV - The day after your first torture session**

The last thing you remembered was pain. So much pain. Bucky’s face swam in your memories, but even that was fleeting against the onslaught of nightmares.

“Vake up, fraulein,” came a voice on the edge of your consciousness.

You had a feeling you knew that voice. You hated it. Why did you hate it? It was only a voice.

“Vake up,” it said again, more insistently this time.

You wished it would stop. The voice made you anxious. Made you sick. You were going to be sick. It reminded you of pain.

“Vake up, Miss (Y/L/N), or zher vill be consequences,” it said dangerously.

Oh, you knew why you hated that voice.

One bleary, swollen eye opened and you found yourself face to face with Zola.

“Oh, zher she is! You haf learned your lesson, yes fraulein? I’m sorry it had to be such a painful lesson. But you vill cooperate now, yes?” he asked, his slimy voice making you feel the need to shower for two days straight.

Your head felt heavy as it rolled onto your shoulder. You looked up at him through your good eye. “I _was_ cooperating, you asshole. And this is what I get for that,” you spat, gesturing towards your bruised body with your head. Unsurprisingly, your ankles and wrists were well restrained.

Zola stared down his nose at you, brow crinkling in displeasure. “It sounds like you haf not learned your lesson.”

Your blood ran cold at his words. The very thought of going back into that room made you want to vomit.

“You vill be fixed, fraulein. Do not fret,” he said sickeningly sweetly.

“Fixed?” you murmured, staring up at him in horror. You didn’t know what “ _fixed”_ meant in Zola’s book, but knew it couldn’t mean anything good.

He moved out of your line of sight and you could hear him digging around for something. You tried to turn your head to look at him, but it was sore and the muscles protested at even the slightest movement.

When he returned, you nearly screamed. There, clutched malevolently in his hand, was a needle and syringe.

Now, you didn’t like needles- No one _really_ liked needles- but you considered yourself to be pretty good when it came to dealing with them.

The thought of Hydra injecting you with something, though, made you feel faint.

“Now, you may feel a slight pinch. I assure you, it vill only last a moment,” he said, smiling at you as though he actually cared about your well-being. As though he hadn’t ordered your torture a mere day before.

* * *

After that day, time passed weirdly. You worked in a daze. Sometimes, the injections were painful. Sometimes, they numbed the pain. Sometimes they even made you feel like you had the energy of ten people.

When Zola wasn’t using your knowledge to create things, you found it hard to think. You spent hours staring at the dingy grey ceiling of your tiny cell.

You thought about the boys a lot. You couldn’t always remember their names on your bad days. A mustache sometimes flashed into your memories. Occasionally it was a pair of steel blue eyes that made you feel safe. You liked them.

Zola tried to get you to make a cradle like the one they used to make that strong blond boy from your memories.

You may not have been able to think well all the time, but you knew you didn’t want to help Zola. Some tiny voice in the back of your mind told you not to. So you took as long as you could. Made the cradle so that it would inevitably fail.

He didn’t stop with the cradle, though. He made you create weapons. You designed a tank, you were pretty sure. And a couple of… guns, maybe? They could have been bombs. You weren’t sure anymore.

The door to your tiny cell banged open and you turned your hazy gaze onto the people in the doorway. You blinked a few times, willing your eyes to focus.

It was Zola, flanked by four guards. 

“Grab her, take her to _the room_ ,” he said. Your mind barely processed the words. Time for work again? Didn’t he usually call your lab “the lab”? Maybe it wasn’t work?

You blinked and realized you weren’t on your bed anymore, but were being dragged out of your cell by two guards, instead.

This was odd. You were moving without walking. How novel. You smiled at the thought. Maybe you had superpowers?

Oh, no. Wait. That was the guards moving you. You could vaguely feel their hands on your arms. That made more sense… right?

You wanted to go back to your cell. Maybe the boy with the blue eyes, the man with the mustache, and the funny french man would be waiting for you there. That would be nice. You were pretty sure you liked them… more than Zola, at least.

Thoughts of the nice men in the cage came to a grinding halt when the guards dropped you face-first on the cold cement floor.

This place smelled familiar… but also made you feel sick to your stomach. Why?

With immense difficulty you lifted your head to look around. You could make out a single chair and a table with wheels.

You recognized that chair and the sight of it made your blood freeze; you even managed to snap out of a bit of the drug-induced haze you were kept in when you weren’t working.

You didn’t make it an inch before you were strapped into said chair, arms twitching in a feeble attempt to free yourself.

You felt a pinching sensation that you knew all too well by now in your arm. You looked down and sure enough, a needle was stuck deep into your skin, putting god knew what into your body.

It started working almost immediately. The fog surrounding your vision cleared and you felt your strength come back, but those were the only good things. You felt just as incapable of thinking, but it was because all the nerves in your body were firing at once. Your heart was trying to beat out of your chest and you literally twitched as you tried to free yourself from the confines of the chair.

“Your cradle vus a failure, fraulein!” Zola yelled, grabbing your attention.

Your head swiveled to lock onto him, a fierce snarl leaving your lips. “Up yours, you bastard!” you screeched.

Zola glared down at you. “I do not know you vere able to sabotage your work in your state, but you will pay for such actions!” he yelled angrily. Without another word he turned and stalked out of the room… the room you recognized as the room you were first tortured in.

Whatever he’d injected you with- adrenaline, maybe?- was wearing off fast, replaced again by the drugs that were surely still coursing strong through your veins. The haze returned with a vengeance, your body exhausted from suddenly working in overdrive.

“No… no no no,” you muttered, barely aware you were even speaking.

You didn’t notice the movement in front of you as you drifted in and out of consciousness.

What you did notice, however, was the high pitched noise grating on your eardrums. What was that? It sounded like-

All at once, your consciousness registered the pain.

The noise was you.

You were screaming.

Screaming because your torturer was shoving white hot metal into your skin.

* * *

**Bucky’s POV**

It hurt. Every inch of him hurt, from the crown of his head to his little toes. He’d long stopped making noises at Lohmer’s hits. His head drooped forward; he no longer had the energy to hold it up. Blood trickled from his mouth, making it hard to breathe. His wrists screamed in agony from holding his limp body up off of the ground; the chains attached to the ceiling rattled each time he took another hit.

Lohmer took pleasure from causing pain. That had been evident immediately. He wasn’t even sure he was still alive. Only a new wave of pain confirmed that he hadn’t given up the ghost yet.

After what felt like hours- or maybe days-, Lohmer stopped, glaring down at Bucky as though he was a maggot underneath the sole of his boot.

“Zis one will not survive going back to labor. Send him to that worm, Zola, for his experiments,” Lohmer ordered the soldiers, spitting on Bucky’s motionless form for good measure before he left the room in a huff.

Bucky didn’t care at that point. All he knew was that the pain was going to stop. That’s all he cared about just then.

Then, another scream rang out in his ears and he remembered why he was in this situation in the first place.

(Y/N). That was (Y/N). They were still torturing you. He raised his head, blood trickling into his eyes and obscuring his vision. “Let her go, you cowards,” he said hoarsely, blue eyes fixed determinedly on them.

The soldiers in the room simply rolled their eyes at him. “Gute Nacht, Bastard,” one of them said. Bucky had a split second to translate before the butt of his gun met Bucky’s temple, and the darkness overtook his vision.

* * *

When he woke up, there were lights above him. He tried to move, but even though his limbs were slow to respond and heavier than normal, he knew he was strapped down.

“So you are awake. Zat is good. It means we haf made progress,” said someone nearby.

Zola appeared in Bucky’s line of vision and he tried to lunge for the tiny man, but moved barely an inch.

“You haf energy, too. Good. Ve vill continue,” Zola said in a short, clinical manner. Bucky heard other people shuffling around but suddenly his eyelids were heavy and he couldn’t stay awake anymore.

Two thoughts danced in his head over and over again, a horrid, anxiety-inducing tango as he drifted into unconsciousness.

_Where’s (Y/N)?_

_What’s Zola doing to me?_

* * *

**Steve’s POV**

[Originally posted by justacrush](https://tmblr.co/ZuX_Qy20t8bxM)

“You ready to go?” Vargus- your replacement- asked, wide grin on his face.

“I’ve been ready for years,” Steve said stoically as he boarded the plan for Italy. This time tomorrow he’d be able to see you again. Get news on Bucky. And maybe- just maybe- if he was lucky Peggy would also be there. He hadn’t heard anything in the way of news from any of you, but your words had stuck with him. You were right, of course. It was difficult to get news in and out of the front and he himself was constantly on the move.

Still, it would be good to see you. He idly hoped that you hadn’t gone mad with boredom and created an arsenal of inventions to test on him while you’d been apart. He wasn’t sure he’d survive it. Still, being around you and your crazy inventions would be infinitely better than being around Vargus for even a day longer.

He threw his bad into the overhead storage space and pulled out his sketch pad. Luckily, the girls had learned early on he was absolute shite at talking to women and now gave him a wide berth. They were polite, of course, but they’d long given up on trying to romance “Captain America.” Steve didn’t care much. It gave him time to draw and think without constant chatter he felt obliged to listen to.

Steve watched as the ground gave way to sky beneath the plane and let out a contented sigh. He was finally going to the front.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve throws caution to the wind as soon as he hears about you and Bucky. He sets out to rescue you and the captured soldiers with the help of Peggy and Howard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: language, *torture*, blood, violence, death
> 
> A/N: *gifs not mine*
> 
> It felt kind of odd to just sort of shove Jim Morita in there, but…. it’s how it happened in the movie, so there ya go: Your Japanese-American sassmaster.

**Italy, five miles from the front - Allied territory - November 1943**

Steve groaned and tugged his cowl off of his face. So much for rallying the troops. He was pretty sure that that soldier’s butt would haunt his dreams for weeks. He shuddered as the image popped into his head and resolved to wash up as soon as possible. He may not be able to physically scrub the image out of his brain, but it might at least get the rotten tomato smell out of his hair.

“Don’t worry, pal. They’ll warm up to you, don’t worry,” Vargus assured Steve as he exited the stage, patting his shoulder in what he seemed to think was a comforting manner. Steve ignored him and walked away, dodging the girls as they tottered back onstage.

He heard the girls taking song requests on stage and, knowing he was no longer needed, made a beeline for the dressing room.

* * *

Not two minutes after he’d finished changing, the rain rolled in. The girls came squealing back into the tent and Steve slipped out the other end with his sketchbook, determined to find a place where he could sit and relax in some relative peace and quiet.

Not too far away he found a relatively secluded and blissfully dry spot. He pulled his notebook out and began drawing, hoping it would relax his turbulent mind. You hadn’t been here when he’d arrived and Vargus had sent out some feelers, but nothing yet on your location. Everyone was too busy to care about where some girl Captain America cared about was. It made him angry, but he shouldn’t very well go off searching the entire war front for you without waiting to see if any information turned up first.

He was finishing a self portrait- himself as a circus monkey- when a familiar voice snapped him out of his daze.

“Hello, Steve,” Peggy said, drawing his attention immediately.

He nearly did a double take at her sudden appearance, thoughts brought to a standstill. The best he could manage was a surprised “Hi!” in return.

“Hi,” she responded dryly, looking slightly amused at his inability to form words. She folded her coat over her arms and moved to take a seat on one of the storage trunks behind him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, turning his entire body to get a better look at her, confusion clear on his face. Maybe (Y/N) had gotten through to her after all, which meant Peggy probably knew where she was.

“Officially, I’m not here at all,” she said, smirking wryly down at him.

“(Y/N) told you I’d be visiting, then?” he asked, smiling shyly up at Peggy.

“… What are you talking about, Steve?” Peggy asked, suddenly serious. Her tone made Steve anxious.

“(Y/N) told you I’d be in Italy, right? It’s why you’re here?” Steve asked nervously.

Peggy looked at Steve closely, her face twisting with sadness when she seemed to realize he wasn’t joking.

“Steve… (Y/N) was captured three weeks ago, along with over a hundred men from the 107th. Those men you were performing for were what’s left of them,” Peggy said sadly.

“The 107th?” Steve asked, hardly daring to believe his ears, mind working a hundred miles a minute.

“What?” Peggy asked, confused by his sudden change in demeanor. She thought he’d focus on you being missing, but-

“Come on!” Steve said quickly, literally jumping off the edge of the stage, notebook forgotten behind him. Peggy picked it up as she threw her jacket over her head and raced after him.

They arrived in Colonel Phillips’ tent not a minute later. Peggy was going to stop him, but Steve walked right up and began talking to the Colonel before Peggy could get a word in edgewise.

“Colonel Phillips!” Steve said, all business.

The Colonel looked up at Steve from his spot at his desk and frowned. “Well if it isn’t the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan! What is your plan today?” he asked Steve as he twiddled his pen in his hands.

“I need the casualty list from Azzano,” Steve said formally but with perhaps a bit to much authority because Phillips immediately bristled. Peggy stood beside Steve, watching the situation apprehensively.

“You don’t get to give me orders, son,” Phillips said as he glared up at Steve.

“I just need two names, sir. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th and (Y/N) (Y/L/N), private military contract,” Steve said quickly.

Phillips’ gaze slid from Steve to Peggy, who looked a little bit guilty as she averted her eyes. “You and I are going to have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy,” he warned.

“Please tell me if they’re alive, sir,” Steve said insistently. “B-A-R-”

“I can spell,” Phillips cut across Steve scathingly.

There was a pause where no one moved or spoke before Phillips stood and rifles through the papers he’d been holding. “I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count,” he said solemnly as he stood and walked to the back of the tent. Peggy and Steve followed slowly, tension thick in the air. “But the names _do_ sound familiar. I’m sorry,” he said, hands on his hips as he turned around slowly. He gave Steve an apologetic, commiserative look.

Steve looked shocked for a moment and Peggy could do nothing but look on as he processed the information.

“What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?” Steve asked, looking to the Colonel with a spark of hope in his eyes.

Peggy knew right then and there that he’d do anything if there was a chance to get his friend and (Y/N) back.

“Yeah, it’s called ‘winning the war’,” Philips said dismissively as he took a seat back at his desk.

Steve wasn’t giving up easily, though. “But if you know where they are, why not at least send-”

Phillips’ already questionable patience was running out. “They’re thirty miles behind the lines through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. But I don’t expect you to know that because you’re a chorus girl.”

Steve’s jaw clenched and even Peggy bristled a bit at that.

Steve’s gaze, however, traveled from the Colonel to the map on the wall, his bright blue eyes memorizing the spot of the Hydra base almost instantly.

“I think I understand just fine,” Steve said coldly.

Phillips had already turned his back on the two of them and returned to his paperwork. “Well, then understand it somewhere else,” Phillips said, dismissal clear in his tone. “If I read the posters correctly you got some place to be in thirty minutes.”

“Yes, sir, I do,” he said tersely as he gazed at the map. He walked out of the command tent without another word. Peggy glanced at Steve worriedly, putting together his plan in an instant.

“If you have something to say, now is the perfect time to keep it to yourself,” Phillips said angrily to Peggy.

Well, that settled that. She ran after Steve without a second thought.

* * *

She found him a few minutes later in the tent they’d been using as a dressing room. He was already back in his Captain America outfit, though Peggy wasn’t entirely sure why. He was rifling through gear and already had a pair of army pants on over his tights.

“What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?” Peggy asked as she walked into the tent and stared accusingly at Steve.

“If that’s what it takes,” he said stubbornly.

“You heard the Colonel… your friend and… and (Y/N) are most likely dead,” she said sadly. She hadn’t allowed herself to say the words out loud yet and it hurt just as much as she thought it would.

“You don’t know that,” he said, vibrant blue eyes staring at her challengingly.

Peggy sighed. It was hard to tell him to stay put when she wanted to go after you, too. “Even so, he’s devising a strategy. If he detects that-”

“By the time he’s done that, it could be too late,” Steve said angrily as he shoved supplies into a pack. He grabbed it off the table and ducked around Peggy, heading out of the tent in a huff.

“Steve!” Peggy said quickly, chasing after him.

He threw his bag and shield into the back of a jeep and turned to face her, brow set in determination.

“You told me you thought that I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?” he asked, blue eyes studying her closely.

Oh, hell. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. “Every word,” Peggy said earnestly.

Steve seemed satisfied by her response and turned back to the jeep. “Then you gotta let me go,” he said as he took a seat in the car and started the engine. Peggy rushed to the front of the car, hand on the windshield.

“I can do more than that,” she said determinedly. “Move over,” she said, raising her eyebrows expectantly at him.

Steve, intrigued and maybe a tiny bit intimidated, immediately slid to the passenger side. “What are you-”

“I have a better way in than walking or hijacking an army vehicle,” she said mysteriously as the vehicle lunged forward and began weaving it’s way around the base.

Steve simply held on for dear life as she expertly drove in and out of people, tents, and other vehicles.

* * *

Steve hadn’t been expecting help from the famous Howard Stark. Sure, he knew that you and Peggy worked with him rather closely, but to volunteer to fly into heavily fortified air space-

“The Hydra camp is in Kreuzberg, tucked between these two mountain ranges,” Peggy said as she pointed to it on the map. It wasn’t easy to hear her over the roar of the plane engines, but Steve managed it. “It’s a factory of some kind,” she explained.

“We should be able to drop you right on their doorstep!” Howard said from the cockpit, glancing over his shoulder at Steve.

Steve was thankful that they’d decided to help him, but didn’t want them in any more danger than necessary. “Just get me as close as you can! You two are going to be in a lot of trouble when you land.” Steve said, grimacing internally at the thought of Phillips’ face when he realizes what they’ve done.

“And you won’t?” Peggy said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Steve glanced out the window at the ground below. “Where I’m going, if anybody yells at me, I can just shoot ‘em,” Steve said as he double checked his parachute.

“They will undoubtedly shoot back,” Peggy said softly, looking Steve up and down with worry etched clear on her face.

Steve didn’t seem deterred by the idea though. “Well, let’s hope it’s good for something,” Steve said as he rapped the face of his shield with his knuckles.

“Agent Carter! I thought if we’re not in too much of a hurry we could stop off in Lucerne for a late-night fondue,” Stark said from the front of the plane. Peggy could hear the flirty smirk in his voice and did her best to keep her face as neutral as possible.

Steve glanced between the two of them in confusion and Peggy spoke up again a moment later.

“Stark is the best civilian pilot I’ve ever seen,” she said, sounding more like she needed to convince herself than Steve. “Not to mention, he cares about (Y/N), though he may not admit it. I know she’s saved his life from his own negligence more than once. Also, he’s mad enough to brave this air space. We’re lucky to have him,” Peggy said quickly.

Steve nodded slightly, mulling over her words. “So are you two? Do you…” Steve made a few vague hand gestures which only confused Peggy. She raised a single sculpted eyebrow at him in question. “… fondue?” he finished lamely.

She didn’t deem his question with a response and pulled something out of the bag next to her. “This is your transponder. Activate it when you’re ready and the signal will lead us straight to you,” Peggy explained, handing Steve the metal contraption which he placed securely in his jacket’s pocket.

“Are you sure this thing works?” Steve asked Stark.

Howard laughed. “It’s been tested more than you, pal. It was (Y/N)’s invention, anyway,” Howard said, smile clear in his voice. “She has a better track record than me with her prototypes, lucky for you.”

Not a moment later anti aircraft guns began firing on their plane. Peggy immediately grabbed her seat, head swiveling to look out the window. By the time she turned back around Steve was already yanking the plane’s door open.

“Get back here, we’re taking you all the way in!” she demanded as he stood in front of the door.

He only paused long enough to look back at her and give an order of his own. “As soon as I’m clear, you turn this thing around and get the hell out of here!” he yelled.

“You can’t give me orders!” Peggy said indignantly. This stupid man was going to get himself killed-

“The hell I can’t! I’m a captain!” Steve said as he tugged his goggles on with a cheeky grin. Without further ado, he launched himself from the plane, leaving Peggy to wonder if she’d just gotten America’s golden boy killed.

* * *

To Steve’s surprise, infiltrating the base had been pretty easy. The walk hadn’t been fun, but it wasn’t long before he’d found a road and stolen himself a spot in the back of one of Hydra’s supply trucks. The two soldiers in the back hadn’t been happy about the arrangement, so Steve quickly and politely asked them to vacate the truck… by beating them up and throwing them out the back.

On his way through the facility, he picked up what looked like an ammo cartridge for the futuristic weapons he’d seen the Hydra men toting around the facility. Eventually, he found the area where the prisoners were kept. It wasn’t that hard to find; all he had to do was follow his nose.

They only had a small force guarding the prisoners, which made some sense. They weren’t prepared for a strong, armed superhuman to attack; they were accustomed to weak, downtrodden prisoners locked behind metal bars.

A swift, surprise strike to the head and the guard fell like a toy soldier. It only took Steve a second of rifling through the guard’s clothes to find the keys to the cells below.

* * *

**Your POV**

The thing that roused you from your sleep originally was the tell-tale thud of something heavy hitting the metal grating above your head. Even though you were waking slowly, your body fought you. You were still in so much pain. It had only been a day or two since your last torture session.

While floating in and out of consciousness you’d learned that Bucky had been taken and beaten by Lohmer and hadn’t returned. You had a sneaking suspicion that you knew where he was if he was still alive, but also knew he wasn’t likely to stay that way for long.

The boys assured you they’d already “taken care of” Lohmer. Apparently all their planning hadn’t gone completely to waste and while they couldn’t enact the revolution without Bucky, they’d still managed this win for themselves, Bucky, and the other prisoners.

Quiet chattering filled your ears. Whatever caused that noise had the boys and the other prisoners curious and excited. You opened one eye, only to find the guys were standing, staring up at the second level of the building through the bars that constituted the roof of the cage.

“Who are you supposed to be?” you heard Gabe ask.

You gaze started to focus slowly. It was clearly a soldier from his outline. When he spoke, you nearly had a heart attack.

“I’m… I’m Captain America,” he said, a little short of breath.

Your eyes opened comically wide and you sat bolt upright from your spot on the cold cement floor. You knew that voice. Your vision swam at the sudden movement, but you could just make out Steve’s pretty face through the bars of the cage.

“I beg your pardon?” Falsworth asked, clearly thinking he’d heard wrong.

“Steve?!” you whisper yelled, voice still gone from your torture.

Steve’s gaze snapped straight to you and at least ten different emotions flickered across his face in the span of a few seconds.

You saw the relief, the worry, the sorrow, and the joy all written on his face, plain as day.

“(Y/N)!” he said excitedly. His face fell a second later as he took in your beaten and bloody form. “What did they-”

“You know this guy?” Dugan asked you, jerking his thumb up at Steve.

You nodded quickly to Dugan. “Yes, and he’s our best chance of getting out of here alive. Steve, did you get the keys?” you asked, voice leaving you in a hiss.

Steve nodded and held them up proudly, but he was still studying you with rapidly growing hatred for the people who did that to you. 

“Get down here. Fast. Guard change is soon,” Dugan said, motioning to the doors at the other end of the hall.

Steve nodded in understanding and not ten seconds later he was in front of your cage, slipping the key in the lock. It turned with a satisfying, resounding clang that reverberated off of the walls. Falsworth and Dernier helped you to your feet while Dugan and Gabe went around unlocking the rest of the cells.

The second you were out of the cell, Steve swooped down on you, gathering you in a painfully tight hug.

“Ah! Steve- painful! Hurts!” you winced and he hastily released you.

“Sorry, sorry! I just- ever since Peggy told me you’d been captured I’ve just been thinking the worst and-”

“It’s okay, Steve. No harm, no foul,” you said, giving him an affectionate pat on the cheek.

The prisoners gathered around you and the guys, curious as to what their next move would be.

“What, are we taking everybody?” Dugan said, eyeing a Japanese man judgmentally.

The man stepped forward and pulled his dog tags out of his shirt, staring up at Dugan challengingly.

“I’m from Fresno, Ace,” he said scathingly with an unquestionably American accent.

You reached up and smacked Dugan on the back of the head with your good hand. “Play nice, Dum Dum. Our first priority is getting out of here,” you hissed.

He had the good grace to look sheepish and nodded.

“Is there anybody else? I’m looking for a Sergeant James Barnes,” you heard Steve say behind you.

“Steve,” you spun, nearly losing your balance. Steve’s gaze snapped instantly to you. “I know where he is. Bucky,” you said hoarsely, determinedly. You grimaced and rethought your words. “At least, I hope I know where he is. It’s our best bet.”

Steve nodded, not missing the way you said his name. “Tell me, I’ll go there right now,” he said urgently.

* * *

Within seconds of you telling Steve where to go he was off, pausing long enough only to ensure Gabe and Dugan would see you safely out of the facility. You wanted more than anything to go with him, but knew you’d only slow him down.

The Yard was hell, escaped prisoners fighting soldiers left and right. By the time Gabe and Dugan got you outside, the fighting was a little farther away from the doors.

“There!” you said, pointing to one of the giant tanks.

“We don’t even know how to drive that thing!” Dugan yelled over the clamor, staring up at the menacing main gun.

“I do,” you said wickedly, smirking at them.

Gabe and Dugan gave you matching mischievous grins and not thirty seconds later you were seated in the driver’s seat of the tank.

“Not exactly a Buick,” Dugan remarked off-handedly, as he stared at all of the controls.

“Zundung!” you said at the same time Gabe did. You gave him a wry grin as you pressed the button and the tank roared to life. “Think you boys can handle the guns?” you asked as the tank began rolling its way towards the gate at the edge of the compound.

“Little miss, it would be our pleasure!” Dugan said gleefully as he took his spot at the gunner’s seat. The blasts from the gun rocked the tank’s entire frame, but that was nothing compared to the damage it did to one of the watch towers on the perimeter.

Once the other soldiers realized your tank was friendly they stopped firing on it and instead used it as a rallying point, taking cover behind it as needed and waiting for it to blow a hole through Hydra ranks and defenses before they rushed forward.

It was a bloody battle, no doubt about it, but the guys were right. The second the men smelled freedom they fought with the ferocity of ten men. All in all, Hydra didn’t stand a chance.

* * *

Almost before you knew it you’d arrived at the rendezvous point. The soldiers immediately set up a perimeter and you left the tank, eager to get some fresh air and wait until Steve returned. The drugs Zola had been dosing you with were nearly completely gone and for the first time in weeks you could actually think straight. It was wonderful.

It didn’t take long for Falsworth, Jacques, and Jim Morita to find the three of you. Even after Dugan’s crass comment, Jim seemed to get along with you and the other men well and immediately fit in with the your ragtag band of misfits as though he was meant to be there all along. They left shortly thereafter to go scavenge the area for food; if the maps you’d studied during your incarceration were any indication, you were a long way from the nearest Allied camp, and you’d need any supplies you could find.

You’d just situated yourself gingerly on the roof of the tank when it happened.

The base exploded in a spectacular inferno. The men all stopped and stared, alarmed, and, after a moment, started cheering. 

You couldn’t breathe.

Steve. And Bucky. There was no way they could have survived that.

Dugan and Gabe popped out from the cockpit of the tank at the noise, heads swiveling every which way until they, too, spotted the enormous fireball that had been the Hydra base just moments before.

“No… no no no,” you whispered, heart shattering at the sight. You’d let him go off by himself. Let him stay in that base and-

“(Y/N)… I know that look. It’s not your fault,” Gabe said quietly, eyeing you sadly.

Did it matter? You could have helped them. You should have gone with them. You probably could have stopped-

“Movement on the perimeter!” one of the American scouts yelled. You heard the warning echoed in a few different languages. Your attention snapped to where he was pointing and you sighed with relief, even as you rubbed your eyes to make sure you weren’t going crazy.

There, followed by at least a few dozen men, were Steve and Bucky, looking haggard and a little singed, but none too worse for the wear.

[Originally posted by dailybuckybarnes](https://tmblr.co/ZN3GCh2RJlNWu)

“See, little lady? Shouldn’t count them out just yet,” Dugan said reassuringly. You glanced down at him, beaming. They were alive. Against all odd, all of you were alive. Sure, not every prisoner had made it out alive, but you somehow your makeshift family was all in one piece. In the midst of the battle, the Nazi soldiers that had been prisoners had made their stealthy escape with angered you, but still, today was a victory.

You smiled brightly as they made their way over to your tank, the de facto base of operations for your merry band of escaped prisoners.

Steve spotted you immediately and made a beeline towards you, easily vaulting on top of the tank to scoop you up into another hug. He was gentler this time and you laughed, just happy to see him in one piece again.

“Thanks for keeping her safe,” you heard him say to Dum Dum and Gabe.

You heard Gabe snort and Dugan let out a hearty guffaw. “ _Us_? Keep _her_ safe? Captain, she was the one driving the tank,” Dugan said, amusement clear in his voice.

Steve looked down at you, clearly surprised. “You drove a tank?” he asked incredulously.

You shifted nervously and nodded. You could tell he read your hesitation in an instant, but thankfully decided not to comment on it.

Guilt ate away at you. You didn’t want to tell him why you knew how to drive it… You didn’t want to tell any of them that _you_ were the one who’d built it.

Fortunately for you, a distraction appeared in the form of one Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. He didn’t get on top of the tank quite as gracefully or quickly as Steve had, but you wormed your way out of Steve’s arms to throw yourself at him the second he made it to the top.

With a laugh you hadn’t heard since the day you’d been captured nearly a month ago, he caught you, wrapping his arms around you.

“Thank goodness you’re alive,” you murmured, giving him a tight squeeze that had your muscles aching in protest.

You heard the short, exhaled laugh and felt his breath tickle your ear. “I could say the same, Dollface,” Bucky murmured.

Apparently you’d been hugging longer than you’d realized because Gabe cleared his throat loudly.

The sound seemed to snap you and Bucky out of whatever relieved daze you’d been in because you quickly jumped apart.

Gabe and Dugan were wearing matching knowing looks and Steve was looking between you and Bucky; you could almost see the cogs turning in his head.

“I-Is that everyone?” you asked, motioning to the men scattered around the clearing.

“We did a quick sweep before we left,” Steve said, nodding.

“Anyone else was either dead or really good at hiding,” Bucky supplied.

“Then let’s get moving. We have quite the hike ahead of us,” you said wearily. “We have a couple vehicles. Get the supplies and most wounded men on them,” you said, jerking your chin at the van a hundred or so feet away.

“Put the guys with the most energy and guns at the front and back of the convoy,” Dugan added.

Gabe nodded and hopped off the tank, delivering the message to everyone in the area in English, German, and French.

You hopped off to start doing the same, but Steve held out a hand to stop you. “You should stay up here, (Y/N),” he said, eyeing you with concern.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Steve, I-”

“He’s right, (Y/N)… you were just tortured yesterday,” Bucky agreed, looking you up and down worriedly.

“You… you what?” Steve asked, looking from Bucky to you with clear panic on his face.

You sighed and rolled your eyes.

“There are men missing legs and men who can barely stand from Hydra abuse and exhaustion. I’m not going to make them walk just because I’m a little banged up,” you said, putting on a brave face. You pushed past the both of them and, as gracefully and carefully as you could, climbed off the tank and began delivering the marching orders.

Steve and Bucky sighed, sharing commiserating looks. When they realized they were thinking the exact same thing, they both grinned.

“How do you know her, punk?” Bucky asked, staring down at you from the tank as you talked to the soldiers.

“I spent the last couple years with her,” Steve said, chuckling as he watched you comfort the soldiers, even though you were even worse off than some of them.

Bucky gave Steve a confused side-eye. “‘Spent the last couple years with her?’” Bucky asked, his heart sinking. While Steve was still the Steve he’d known for years, there was no doubt he’d turn the eyes of almost any dame now, looking like he did. It wouldn’t be that surprising if-

Steve’s gaze slid from you to Bucky, something in his tone drawing Steve’s attention. “Yeah, she was assigned to keep track of me after the experiment. She worked with Stark and Erskine on the project that made me-” he gestured to himself helplessly “- _this_. I guess she’s kind of like a sister to me; that’s how close we got. Neither of us were happy being on the road like we were, and we bonded over that. I can even talk to her without putting my foot in my mouth… most of the time,” Steve said, watching his friend closely. He didn’t miss the way Bucky relaxed visibly the longer that he spoke.

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t realized he’d been holding. Why did he feel so relieved? Before he had time to think about it, you returned.

“Are we ready to move out?” you asked from the ground, smiling up at Bucky and Steve.

Steve hopped down easily, but Bucky took the safer route that was the ladder, seeing as he was still a little beat up.

“You betcha, Doll,” Bucky said, grinning down at you.

“If you get tired, please just let me know so-” Steve began, going into the full doting brother mode that you hated so much (but secretly loved, as you didn’t have a sibling).

“Yeah, yeah. I know, Stevie,” you said dismissively. “Let’s get this shit show on the road.”

Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands. Bucky grinned at the both of you.

“If you tell me to watch my language I’ll punch you,” you said testily.

“Let’s just… _go_ ,” Steve said, defeated. Behind you, you heard the tank and van roar to life, and the lot of you began the long trek back to Allied territory in Italy.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and the other escaped prisoners take the long hike back to Allied territory. You and Bucky have an awkward conversation that leaves you both on shaky ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: mentions of torture

[Originally posted by littlemisssyreid](https://tmblr.co/ZU_u7q1qSWvxC)

You’d be lying if you said the trip back into Allied territory was enjoyable. The only things that made it bearable were your newfound freedom and the company of the guys. More than a few men died on the journey, each one tearing a new, small hole in your heart.

You were convinced your feet had become giant blisters. It hurt so much to move that you nearly caved and rode on the tank or in the van a few times, but you pride and compassion won out; you were tough and some of the men needed a ride more than you. 

Still, by the third day you were suffering. Every step felt like daggers were being plunged into the soles of your feet. Your eyes watered and you sincerely hoped that if you were bleeding it wouldn’t show. The last thing you needed was Steve fussing over you.

It was only halfway through the day and that thought alone nearly made you weep. Your vision was blurred from combined pain and exhaustion and you didn’t notice at first that you were beginning to stumble and sway as you walked, nor that black spots had begun appearing in your vision.

You realized as you were falling that perhaps you had been too stubborn. You waited for the impact of your exhausted body hitting the ground, but it never came.

“You really should have just taken a spot in the van,” came a gently chastising voice from right next to you.

Your vision cleared a bit and you looked up to find Bucky’s face inches from yours. You suddenly became horribly aware of his arms around you; that explained why you weren’t covered in mud on the ground or nursing a concussion.

“‘M fine,” you mumbled, words slurring together dangerously. “Jus’ need a min’.”

Bucky snorted and lowered you gently to the ground before he pulled his canteen out and handed it to you. “Like hell you are. Drink that, you’re exhausted,” he said, eyeing you with worry. You brought the canteen shakily to your lips and, likely out of fear that your trembling hands would spill it everywhere, Bucky steadied it while you took a few long gulps.

When you were done he screwed the cap back on and threw the thin strap attached to it back over his shoulder.

You were feeling a little bit better now that you’d had a chance to sit and grab a drink, but the very thought of walking again made you want to hurl. You looked up and down the road, eyeing the soldiers as they passed. You hadn’t realized how far behind from the front of the convoy you’d fallen. You were definitely among the stragglers at this point, but thankfully before the armed soldiers that brought up the rear.

“Hop on,” Bucky said, drawing your attention back to him.

He was crouched down with his back to you, his arms held carefully away from his sides. He was looking over his shoulder at you expectantly.

You looked from his face to his back and his hands, then back up to his face in confusion.

“You can’t be serious,” you said incredulously.

“Dead serious, Doll. I know you won’t hitch a ride on the tank or in the van, so this is the next best thing,” Bucky said. To your mortification, he had the audacity to wink at you.

You felt the heat go straight to your cheeks and you set your jaw stubbornly.

“I can manage just fine, thank you,” you said, stumbling to your feet like a newborn deer. You managed to make it about halfway into an upright position before your legs gave out and you tumbled back down, your butt landing painfully on the frozen ground.

Bucky gave you an appraising look over his shoulder than you petulantly ignored, rubbing your sore backside while you muttered under your breath.

“C’mon, Doll. We need to get movin’,” he said, obviously trying to reason with you.

You sighed heavily and nodded. “Fine, fine. But only for a little while, alright?” you said leveling him with a glare.

“Yeah, yeah. I got it. The dame can take care of herself,” he said, smiling at you. “Arms over my shoulders, sweetheart,” he warned.

You inched closer and threw your arms around his neck and tried hard not to blush as his hands gently but firmly grabbed onto your thighs. A second later he was up again and you clutched tightly onto him at the sudden movement.

“Alright?” he asked, peeking at you out of the corner of his eye.

Your cheeks heated unfairly at the simple look and you shoved your face into his back. “Alrigh’,” you muttered, trying your best to block out the way his hands felt on your thighs or how his thick, muscular waist felt between your legs. You definitely didn’t let yourself think about how your chest was rubbing up against his expansive back, either.

“Good,” he said after a brief pause. Something in his voice almost made you look at him, but you fought the urge. You were sure your embarrassment was still written all over your face. Without another word, he started working on caching up with the front of the convoy.

Eventually, though, you got used to the piggyback ride and you perched your chin on his left shoulder. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, eyebrow raised curiously.

“When the guys said Lohmer got you… I was really worried, y’know,” you said quietly, fingers unconsciously gripping the material of his shirt. He shifted uncomfortably, adjusting your weight on his back causing you to let out a tiny yelp and you gripped even tighter to him.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, giving you an apologetic grimace.

“No, it’s okay. That was… It was probably a little soon to bring that up, huh?” you asked sheepishly, glancing away from him.

He winced, corner of his lips tugging up wryly. “Well I’d be lying if I said it was fun,” he said, joking tone not quite able to lighten the mood. Your gaze returned to him, deep frown etched in your face, not quite sure what to say. “But hey, I’m free, we destroyed that horrid place, and there’s a pretty dame worried about me,” he said, smiling broadly.

“We’ve been out of imprisonment for three days and you’re already flirting with anything that has a bust, eh?” you said dryly.

Bucky grinned mischievously before feigning hurt. “Why, I never! I thought I was being courteous by waiting three days!” he said playfully.

You rolled your eyes at him. “You could at least have the good grace to flirt with Steve, too,” you said dismissively. “Mix it up a bit.”

Bucky froze, coming to a sudden halt that nearly gave you a sense of vertigo.

“What?” he asked, craning his neck so he could stare at you, shock plain as day on his face.

“Uhh…” Your eyes widened, brain having caught up with your mouth. You’d noticed almost immediately the way Bucky looked at Steve and you were surprised no one else seemed to notice. Maybe you were just odd like that? You’d heard the horror stories of men being found out as gay in the army and you weren’t surprised Bucky never said or did anything to give that away.

Bucky seemed to remember they weren’t exactly alone and looked around quickly to see if anyone had heard. When he was sure the coast was clear, his gaze flicked back to you, laser focused.

“What did you mean?” he whisper-hissed, glaring down at you.

You sputtered, your bad habit of rambling when you get flustered taking over. “I- uh- what I mean is I noticed it pretty much immediately. I never knew from Steve’s stories but the second I saw you two together I knew and-”

“Shh! Sh!” he glanced around nervously again, shushing you insistently. “Listen, Doll, I don’t know what you think you saw, but you can’t go around sayin’ things like-”

Not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable, you simply nodded, eyes downcast. “You’re right. It was probably just me not really having a good grasp of reality yet because of all the drugs Zola used on me. I’m sorry,” you said placating. “I didn’t meant to offend you,” you said penitently.

You could tell he was chewing on his cheek nervously, but he nodded after a moment and continued walking. “It’s… it’s alright, Doll. We’ve all been through a lot,” he said quietly. You didn’t miss the way he couldn’t look you in the eyes anymore.

“I’m… I’m glad you’re safe,” you said, squeezing him into a gentle hug from behind.

You were happy to see a small smile return at those words. “I’m glad you’re safe, too, (Y/N).”

What bothered you, though, and had been bothering you for a while, was just _how okay_ Bucky was. You’d heard horror stories of Lohmer’s torture and if even one of them was to be believed, it was a miracle Bucky was up and walking. The fact that he’d escaped a giant explosion and was carrying you without breaking a sweat… should have been impossible.

A thought struck you that made your blood run cold. You knew he’d been taken by Zola. What… What if…?

You shook the thoughts from your mind and rested your head on Bucky’s shoulder. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts because he didn’t seem to notice.

Without even realizing it, you dozed off while gazing at Bucky’s stunning profile.

* * *

[Originally posted by dailybuckybarnes](https://tmblr.co/ZN3GCh2RJlNWu)

By the time the group was approaching the convoy, you’d had to take over driving the tank so that Dum Dum and Gabe could get some sleep. You heard more than saw the cheers as the men in the Allied camp realized that their captured allies were the ones walking down the road. You heard Gabe and Dum Dum jump off of the roof of the tank and run to the front of the group, where you knew Steve, Bucky, Jacques, and James were. Through the small opening you were able to make out what seemed to be the entire camp welcoming them all back. The cheers were nearly deafening. You moved the tank into the camp slowly, hoping the soldiers would be smart enough to move out of your way (they really made the holes you used to see out of the tank so, so tiny).

Eventually, you found a spot you were satisfied with and gingerly made your way to the ladder and banged on the hatch. One of the men on top opened it up for you and you clambered out onto the roof.

All around you, men were talking and celebrating.

It only took you a second to spot the guys among the sea of men; they all seemed to center around Steve. You spotted Colonel Phillips and-

“Peggy!” you whispered breathlessly. You scrambled down the side, cursing in a very unladylike manner when your feet hit the ground. They were still tender from all the walking (you hadn’t let Bucky carry you all the way, after all). You tried your best to work your way through the throng of smelly, excited men and had made it about halfway to the center of the action when you heard Bucky yell.

“Hey, let’s hear it for Captain America!” he yelled, effectively rousing the assembled men into a loud, raucous round of applause. Of course, their heightened levels of excitement only made it harder for you to get through to Peggy and the guys.

Finally, with an almighty shove, you pushed through the wall of sweaty men and nearly ran into Peggy.

[Originally posted by commander-candles](https://tmblr.co/ZMQGGw22JD0ak)

She gasped and threw her arms around you. “(Y/N)! Steve said you were here, but-”

“Pegs! It’s so good to see you!” you said, eagerly embracing her in a nearly painful hug.

You laughed happily, reunited with your best friend. Emotions must have been running high because you felt yourself start to cry. Peggy pulled back enough to look at you, hands grasped firmly on your upper arms, startled by the noises you were making. The second she saw your face she set her jaw in a hard, determined line.

“Oh, no! Don’t you dare! You know what happens if-” but it was too late, and Peggy’s eyes started watering, too.

You grabbed onto her and buried your head in her shoulder, tears streaming down your face unabashedly; happy tears from being free and alive, tears of horror and grief at what you had to go through, what you’d done. All of it came out without warning the second you were reunited with your best friend. She patted your back comfortingly, trying her best to blink away her own tears.

Without being asked, the guys formed a sort of blockade around you and Peggy; a barrier between you and the outside world. You didn’t notice, but Peggy did, and it made her smile thankfully. It seemed like you’d found a family in that whole mess, at least.

Eventually, you were able to calm yourself down enough to wipe the tears from your cheeks, but a nasty case of the hiccups and watery eyes were irrefutable evidence of your episode.

Peggy smiled down at you, wiping away a tear you’d missed. “Alright, dove. How about you get some sleep and we-”

“(Y/N)? (Y/N)! (Y/N), thank goodness!” came a voice from the crowd; one you knew well. Your gaze whipped up, searching among the assembled faces.

Howard was trying to work his way past Dum Dum and Bucky. Bucky was looking at him in utter confusion, and it seemed like Dum Dum was just then realizing who he was.

“It’s alright, you can let ‘im through,” you said tiredly.

Bucky looked between you and Howard, scowling, but let the man pass anyway. You completely missed the way Bucky glared at Stark every time he looked your way.

You barely had time to brace yourself before you were scooped out of Peggy’s arms and into Howard’s. He spun you around like you weighed nothing, muttering various versions of “thank god.”

“Howard if you keep spinning me I’m going to vomit,” you said, closing your eyes as your vision began spinning, too.

“Right, sorry! I just got excited when I saw you; I’ve been worried sick!” he stopped and set you down gently. You swayed dangerously on your feet and he held a hand out to steady you, looking you up and down in concern. “You alright, sweetheart?” he asked worriedly. You could tell he was trying not to grimace at your current state and you couldn’t blame him. You were 100% disgusting.

“It’s alright Howard,” you said, smiling slightly up at him. He may grate on your nerves sometimes, but you still considered him one of your best friends. Funny how that worked sometimes, huh? “And… I could really use a shower or something,” you muttered. Now that you were next to clean people it became glaringly obvious exactly how badly you reeked.

“Now that I can do!” Howard said, putting on a winning smile that nearly had you retracting your request in alarm. You half expected him to come up with some crazy invention that would get you killed right on the spot. “Shower and then debrief, yeah? Phillips is asking for one and you have got to tell me about _that tank_ ,” he said, eyeing the Hydra monstrosity from across the camp.

At his words, Peggy bristled. “Howard, she just got back! Surely Colonel Phillips can wait a little while longer for her report? We have almost two hundred soldiers than can give him one,” Peggy said chastisingly.

Howard opened his mouth to speak, looking a little guilty, but you cut him off.

“No, it’s alright. Shower, clean clothes, debrief,” you said determinedly. You turned to look at Peggy, who looked like she was about to protest. You begged her with your eyes to drop it. You didn’t want to tell everyone present your greatest shame; how you’d helped Doctor Zola. To you, it didn’t matter that it had been under duress, coercion, and torture. You’d helped Hydra and possibly given the keys to an army of super soldiers to a mad scientist. You wouldn’t sit idly by while Hydra continued to exist.

Peggy gazed at you, studying you closely, before she nodded. “Alright, (Y/N). Whatever you need.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrive in London with Peggy, Steve, and Howard. The rest of the guys arrive shortly after you finish your last few meetings. Reality hits you hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: Language

## 

[Originally posted by sebastian-stan-forever](https://tmblr.co/ZTm_Hg2RqXgnv)

As it turned out, Howard’s plan was to fly you, himself, Peggy, and Steve straight to London. You’d tried to convince him to take the guys, but, according to him, his plane wasn’t big enough.

The guys (along with a large number of the former prisoners) would get on the next train for London. They’d been given a few weeks off to recover (some men were given more time or were honorably discharged when it was clear that their injuries wouldn’t allow them to serve satisfactorily).

You’d been thankful and excited about being able to spend time with the guys. It almost made the hours of debriefings and meetings you had to sit through bearable.

The meeting with Stark, Peggy, and Phillips had been particularly painful. You came clean to them about what you told them; no use hiding it. They had to be prepared if Hydra showed up the next day with hundreds of Steve-level soldiers on their side.

To your surprise, Colonel Phillips didn’t chew you out (He definitely wasn’t happy, though). Maybe it was the way you recounted the torture sessions or simply because you weren’t a soldier; you weren’t trained to resist torture. Maybe he was just happy you’d managed to keep yourself and his men alive. Either way, you weren’t going to question your good fortune.

Still, he looked like he’d swallowed a lemon whenever he looked your way, making you avoid his gaze whenever you felt it on you.

People bustled about the war room while Steve divulged his information. You were standing next to Peggy, twiddling your thumbs anxiously.

“The fifth one was here in Poland, right near the Baltic,” Steve was saying, marking the spot on one of the huge maps. You nodded along in agreement; you’d been in a drugged haze whenever you’d seen Hydra’s maps, but that spot looked right.

“And the sixth one was…”

A hazy picture formed in your mind and you spoke almost without realizing it. “France,” you whispered, glancing at Steve. He glanced up at you and nodded, small smile on his lips.

“Right. About here, thirty, forty miles west of the Maginot Line,” he said, marking the spot on the map. You both nodded, satisfied, and the map was quickly whisked away for strategic planning.

Peggy was staring at Steve, eyebrow raised as she appraised him.

Steve tapped his pencil on his hand sheepishly. “I just got a quick look,” he said, glancing nervously behind his back at the man who was running off with the map.

Peggy let out a small sigh and you could tell she was trying to fight the urge to roll her eyes. “Well, nobody’s perfect,” she jabbed good-naturedly. A small, playful smile worked its way onto her lips and you saw a similar one reflected on Steve’s face.

Suddenly, your shoes were very, very interesting. You felt like you were intruding on a private moment. Peggy walked around the table and across the room, towards the huge table that had maps with various little buildings that represented Hydra bases on them. Sensing their small moment was over, you sheepishly followed them, narrowly avoiding people as they scurried to and fro with important information and documents.

“These are the weapons factories we know about. Thanks to (Y/N) and Sergeant Barnes’ information, we know that Hydra shipped all the parts to another facility that isn’t on this map,” Steve said, motioning to it with his hands.

“Agent Carter, coordinate with MI-6. I want every Allied eyeball looking for that main Hydra base,” Phillips said. You, Peggy, and Steve trailed after him.

“What about us?” Peggy asked. Although Steve didn’t ask, you could tell he was curious about his orders, too.

“We are going to set a fire under Johann Schmidt’s ass,” Phillips said, turning back to look at the three of you. He grabbed a file from a pretty blonde woman, barely glancing at it as he looked up at Steve. “What do you say, Rogers? It’s your map. You think you can wipe Hydra off of it?” he asked, gesturing to the map-laden table with the file in his hand.

Steve glanced back at it and you could tell he was excited. He was finally getting his chance to serve his country. It had only taken three years.

“Yes, sir. I’ll need a team,” Steve said seriously, somehow managing to stay calm even though both you and Peggy could tell he was elated.

“We’re already putting together the best men,” Phillips said, rifling through the papers in front of him.

Both you and Peggy bit back your smirks, knowing what Steve was going to say before he said it. “With all due respect sir, so am I.”

The Colonel eyes Steve up and down before he nodded. “Understood, Rogers. (Y/L/N), I want you working with Stark. Every weapon they made you help make; I want a blueprint of them by the end of tomorrow. Agent Carter. MI-6. Now,” he said sternly. “Dismissed.”

Steve and Peggy saluted and you did, too, simply because they did, although you realized as you touched your fingertips to your head that you didn’t have to.

The three of you relaxed as soon as Phillips had turned away and Steve turned to the two of you, positively vibrating with excitement. “The guys will be in later today. We’re going to meet a pub just a few blocks over. The Royal Oak. Bucky says they’ll be on board, but I still have to go ask them, so-”

“They’ll say yes,” you said, smirking slightly. If you learned anything about those boys while you’d been with them, it was that they had a penchant for mischief and bravery (stupidity).

Steve beamed at you before engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug. You were glad you’d had some time to heal, or it would have been distinctly painful. “You’re invited, too, of course! The guys actually insisted I invite you,” Steve said, releasing you.

You bit your lip, mind racing as you thought about how long it would take you to make those blueprints and analyze the sample Steve had stolen from the factory with Howard. “I’ll try to make an appearance,” you said hesitantly, not wanting to make any promises you couldn’t keep. Steve simply nodded in understanding, but you could tell he would be sad if you didn’t make it.

He turned to face Peggy and just then he looked like the tiny man he was when you’d first met him. “You, uh, can come, too, if you want, Peggy. It’s not exactly a high-class joint, but we’d be lucky to have ya,” Steve said shyly.

With that, you gently excused yourself from their conversation, winking at Peggy when she glanced at you as you sidled away.

You made a beeline for Stark’s on-site lab, wanting to get done with your work as quickly as possible so you’d have a chance to see the guys tonight.

It was on more or less the complete opposite side of the facility and you’d gotten lost a few times, so you breathed a sigh of relief when you finally opened the door to the lab.

Howard and one of the assistants was in front of a thick reinforced wall. Stark was maneuvering a pair of metal arms. When you saw what he was studying you nearly had a panic attack.

“Hard to see what all the fuss is about-” you heard him muttering.

“Howard, no!” you yelled, but it was too late. The metal arm reacted with some of the blue energy in the tiny pellet and, just like that, the room exploded. Glass shattered and the force knocked all three of you off of your feet. You landed hard on the tile-covered cement ground, your ears ringing. You saw more than heard glass rain down around you and quickly shut your eyes and covered your face with your arm.

When you were fairly certain you were no longer in danger of having your eyes gouged out by glass and metal shards, you removed your arm from your face and sat up slowly.

“Write that down,” you heard Howard mutter to the assistant as he scrambled back up.

You struggled to your feet and walked over to him, eyeing the little blue ball in the destroyed room warily.

“You should have waited for me, y’know,” you chastised.

Howard sighed as he pulled off his protective glasses and nodded. “Right as always, (Y/N). But you were taking so long with Phillips and Rogers and I just had to see what all the fuss was about,” Howard said, smirking as though he hadn’t just blown his own lab up.

“Well, leave it be for a bit. We have other work to do. Phillips wants blueprints of every Hydra weapon I can think of.”

Howard visibly brightened at the idea and you quashed his hopes before he could get any ideas. “Don’t you date try to market them to _anyone_. Your weapons are deadly enough as is. This is just so that we can get an idea of how to stop them,” you said testily, glaring up at him.

He groaned, shoulders sagging in desperation. “But (Y/N)! If I could duplicate their designs-”

“You really want a gun that can vaporize fifty men a minute out in the world?” you asked, leveling him with a steely glare.

Howard sighed and ran his fingers through his dark, short locks. Eventually he shook his head letting out a beleaguered sigh. “No, no I guess not.”

You smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, pal. I have quite a few non-Hydra weapon ideas we can toy around with,” you said, winking at him.

Howard perked up again, excited by the prospect. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s get those blueprints done.”

* * *

You and Howard had worked so quickly (with the help of the very flustered and confused lab assistant) that you didn’t feel guilty about leaving when Peggy came around a few hours later and asked if you wanted to go with her to the pub Steve had mentioned earlier.

With a harried goodbye to Howard (who almost didn’t seem to hear you, so engrossed in his work as he was), you left with Peggy who took you back to her place to change before you left for the pub.

She looked almost unfairly stunning in a beautiful red dress. You slipped into the dress and heels you’d brought earlier that day (you didn’t want to look a mess on the streets of London) and bit back a heavy sigh. You’d long accepted that you’d live in Peggy’s proverbial shadow when it came to attracting the attention of men (and occasionally women). You usually didn’t care but-

You shook your head and ran your fingers through your hair in annoyance with yourself. Caring about what a bunch of men thought was stupid. You never needed their approval then and you didn’t need it now.

You tried to buy into that train of thought, but it was difficult when a pair of steel blue eyes kept popping up in your head.

“Ready to go?” Peggy asked you from the doorway.

You nodded, shoving your shiny new passport and wallet into your purse, and made your way over to the door. Peggy smiled at you and licked her finger before carefully fixing a stray piece of hair on your head. “There, perfect,” she said, beaming.

You rolled your eyes. “That would be you, Peggy. Now let’s go before the guys drink their way through Steve’s entire savings,” you said, nodding your head towards the door.

She _tsked_ at your comment, but followed you out the door, locking it before you made your way down the stairs. “You look amazing, (Y/N),” she said earnestly.

You rolled your eyes, but your bashful, pleased smile gave away your true feelings. “Thanks, Pegs.”

A cab was waiting for the two of you on the street and you eagerly slid into it to escape the chilly November air. Peggy slid in the back seat beside you and the cabbie did a double take when he saw Peggy.

“The Royal Oak pub, please,” Peggy said crisply, valiantly ignoring the cabbie’s ogling.

“Right away, ma’am,” he said quickly, suddenly remembering where he was and what he was doing.

* * *

The ride to the pub was short and uneventful, but you liked watching the buildings pass by. London was just as beautiful as you thought it would be and your only regret was that it took being kidnapped and tortured to finally see it.

All too soon the cab was coming to a stop outside of a small but cozy-looking pub. Peggy got out first and you followed suit, throwing a couple of bills that Peggy handed you at the cabbie before you stepped out onto the curb.

“You ladies have a pleasant evening, now,” he said, slimy smile on his face as he stared up at Peggy through the window.

Peggy, however, was already headed towards the door. “I’ll get the drinks?” you asked, catching up to her.

You could hear a piano playing and men singing jovially from the inside of the tavern and the sound made you smile; you were pretty sure you could pick out Jim’s voice, singing louder than the rest.

She glanced down at you, coy smile on her lips. “I suppose we’ll have to see how long I stay first.”

Without any further ado she opened the door and stepped inside. You followed her quickly, eager to get out of the cold.

The piano and singing didn’t stop immediately, voices only fading out once their owners caught sight of Peggy. There were a few other women in the bar excluding yourself, but none could hold a candle to her.

You spotted the guys sitting around a low, circular table near the bar and you and Peggy made your way over to them.

Jim was, in fact, singing louder than the rest and was the last one to notice Peggy, his voice dying suddenly when he, too, turned his head to see what the rest of them were looking at.

“Captain Rogers?” she asked, her meaning clear in her tone.

They all pointed to the back room which was slightly separated by a wide open doorway.

“I’ll catch up in a sec!” you told Peggy.

At your words, the guys seemed to notice you were there, too. It was a little funny to watch their sudden change in demeanor, even if it did hurt your womanly pride a bit.

All at once the guys were up, giving you crushing hugs. You hugged them back just as enthusiastically, elated to see them again and in such good condition. “Alright, alright you big lugs!” you said, voice slightly drowned out by the piano and numerous voices that had begun singing again. “I’ll be back in a minute! Need to talk to Steve!” you said, smiling at all of them. It didn’t escape your notice that Bucky wasn’t with them; you assumed he was with Steve and you told yourself that that wasn’t the reason why you were so eager to go help Peggy deliver the message to him.

“But we were just about to toast to being all together again!” Gabe said, giving you a scarily accurate impression of a sad puppy.

You rolled your eyes at his antics, smiling broadly. “I don’t even have a drink to toast with! Get me one while I talk to Steve and then we can toast!” you said, turning away from your merry band of misfits to walk towards the back room.

You could just barely see Peggy’s red dress around the corner and made your way cheerily to the doorway, only to freeze when you heard what was being said.

“You don’t like music?” you heard Bucky ask, his tone low and suggestive.

“I do, actually,” Peggy responded. “I might, even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Bucky asked, his tone almost sinfully flirty.

“The right partner,” Peggy said mysteriously.

You stepped around the corner, heart shattering even as you set your jaw determinedly. Steve and Bucky’s gazes snapped to you, and Peggy turned around, smile faltering as she saw the look on your face. She knew you too well to be fooled by your charade. You locked eyes with Steve, knowing you’d break if you looked at Bucky just then.

“Steve,” you said stoically. “I’d like to formally put myself forward as a support unit for your team. I know Zola and Hydra better than almost anyone and I can provide technical and mechanical expertise second only to Howard Stark himself,” you said determinedly.

Steve smiled excitedly, completely missing your inner turmoil (he was shite at reading women, after all). “I think that’s a great idea, (Y/N). We’d be lucky to have you.”

You nodded formally, not even glancing at Bucky. You turned on your heel and made a hasty retreat towards the door, running smack into Dum Dum, who was carrying your drink to the table. To your horror it spilled down your entire front, earning sniggers from the other women present and a whole torrent of apologies from Dugan. The guys got up quickly to help, but you were already pushing past Dugan towards the door.

You burst through it just as the tears began to fall, the bitterly cold air biting your skin thanks to your alcohol-soaked shirt.

 _Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid._ You knew Bucky Barnes was a flirt. You knew it and you let yourself like him, anyway. Fuck, why did it hurt so badly? Of course he flirted with Peggy, she was a goddess. You’d read too much into Bucky’s actions and now… now you had to deal with the harsh reality: He only thought of you as a friend and ally.

“(Y/N)?”

Your gaze snapped up to Peggy, her cheeks pink from the cold wind. She was looking you up and down in concern, gaze lingering on the giant wet spot down the front of your dress. She looked absolutely heartbroken at your state; almost as heartbroken as you felt. Your teeth were chattering and salty tears ran down your cheeks.

“Peggy, let’s get out of here, alright?” you managed to choke out over your gasping sobs.

“Alright, (Y/N). I’ll get us a cab-”

“I- I don’t wanna be here any longer than I have to. Your place isn’t far; let’s just walk.”

Peggy looked like she was about to argue, but nodded, shuffling you away from the entrance of the pub and towards her apartment. “Whatever you need, sweetheart,” she said, throwing an arm over your shoulders in a vain attempt to keep you warm.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You do what you do best to keep yourself occupied before you leave to take down Hydra: invent and avoid your problems like the plague, only to have no healthy way to deal with them when you are inevitably faced with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: Language
> 
> A/N: Honey, where’s my super suit???
> 
> Also, is that summary too real? Does it hit too close to home for some of you? It does for me.

[Originally posted by mithborien](https://tmblr.co/ZNhUmt21tYsxT)

**A Few Days Later**

“You should get packed. You’re headed for Greece in two days with Steve’s special task force,” Peggy said from the doorway, eyeing you sadly.

You peeked at her from under your blanket and simply _harrumph_ ed your displeasure at the idea, retreating once again to the safety of your blanket cocoon.

“Come now, you can’t just lay about all day!” Peggy said, finally tiring a bit of your dreary attitude. Ever since she’d brought you back from the pub you’d barely talked to anyone, only leaving to finish your work with Stark for Colonel Phillips.

Peggy had even talked to Howard- talked to him! Nicely! It was torture- to see if he had any insight on how to cheer you up, but he was as lost as she was.

She ripped your blanket off of you and you squawked indignantly. “Hey!” you yelled as you grabbed for it, but the nice material slid right between your fingers.

“What… what have you been doing in my guest bed?” Peggy asked while she looked down at you, appalled.

Surrounding you were at least a dozen inventions of various shapes and sizes. Peggy didn’t have the slightest clue as to what they might do, but at least half of them looked like weapons.

All of them looked like they were liable to start a fire.

Peggy lifted you bodily from the bed, carefully avoiding your contraptions, and threw you none-too-gently into the chair next to the desk.

“What did I say about inventing in my apartment?” she asked dangerously, staring you down.

You couldn’t bring yourself to meet her furious gaze. “That I’m not allowed to do it,” you muttered quietly, eyes trained on the ground. You brought your legs up and wrapped your arms around them, pulling them securely to your chest. You knew you shouldn’t have been experimenting in Peggy’s apartment, but it was the only thing that could get your mind off of-

You chastised yourself for almost thinking about it, grimacing as his smiling face flashed in the back of your mind.

Peggy studied you for a moment before she sighed, shoulders slumping sadly. “It’s alright, (Y/N). Just please don’t do it again, alright?” Peggy asked, bending down a bit so she was eye level with you. “You have a lab at headquarters you can use at any time,” she reasoned.

You grimaced. “But then I’d have to be around Howard. Don’t get me wrong, I missed him, but-”

“He can be a bit much, yes,” Peggy said, grinning in understanding.

 _And I don’t want to risk running into **him**._ You added mentally.

Although you hadn’t said that bit out loud, you had a feeling Peggy knew.

She smiled bracingly and held a hand out to you. “Come on, then. Surely there are a few things you need before you leave. Let’s go shopping!” she said, smiling brightly.

Her smile chased the worst of the dark cobwebs from your mind and you took her hand, small smile creeping its way onto your face. “I think I could go for some shopping.”

 

* * *

[Originally posted by newyorkbellco](https://tmblr.co/ZbU4Ml20k-VMR)

“When I said shopping, I didn’t mean raw materials for your prototypes,” Peggy said, sighing as you perused the aisles of the hardware store. It wasn’t very well stocked because of the war effort, but you still grabbed odds and ends that wouldn’t weigh your bag down too much.

“Well, I don’t need new clothes or shoes. You already made sure I have the best gear for extended missions. What else is there to buy?” you asked, looking up from the display of different sizes of copper wires.

Peggy sighed melodramatically. “Are you at least enjoying yourself?”

“Mhm!” you said cheerfully as you went to the next aisle and attempted to scavenge what was left of their stock of gunpowder. “Hey, Peggy, what’s my budget?” you asked absently as you glanced at the isle full of sheets of steel.

Peggy followed your gaze, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “The Colonel gave the task force a considerable budget, but-”

“Awesome, thanks!” you said happily. You pulled out a small notepad and wrote a list of the larger things you’d need.

Satisfied, you took your cart to the checkout line and handed the man at the counter the list, asking him to deliver it to headquarters by the end of the day. He seemed reluctant at first but became very amicable when you shoved a few extra bills under his nose.

“Do I even want to know what you’re going to make with all of that?” Peggy asked, eyeing you suspiciously.

“No, probably not. Hey, are there any craft stores or… stores that would sell bolts of fabric around here?” you asked curiously, turning your attention to her suddenly as the cashier packed up your smaller purchases.

Peggy looked even more suspicious at your sudden question, but she nodded. “There are a few. Callsworth’s is the closest. I’m not sure what their selection will be like, though-”

“That’s fine. I’m sure I can make do with what they have,” you said brightly as you grabbed the heavy paper bag the cashier handed you.

You and Peggy made your way to the car she’d asked the SSR to lend you for the day. You threw the bag in the back and, just a few moments later, the two of you were off to Callsworth’s.

* * *

As it turned out, they still had a pretty okay selection. Not knowing much about fabric and leather, you simply threw bolt after bolt into your trolley. The only common theme was the color: black. It seemed like most of the patterns were well picked over and more expensive than the solid colors, and you didn’t fancy running around a Hydra base in glaring pink, piss yellow, or ghastly purple. So, black it was.

Peggy followed you around, occasionally inquiring as to what the purpose of all the fabric was, but you shrugged. “It’s a surprise,” you said mysteriously, giving her a wink.

You could tell she was panicking just a little bit at that. You had a feeling both Steve and Howard would get a very concerned talk about watching you while she wasn’t able to.

Finally, you were satisfied with your selection, and the bulging bag of fabric and leather took its place besides the hardware bag in the back seat.

“Back to the apartment, then?” Peggy asked you from the driver’s seat.

“No, headquarters. Your apartment is great but it doesn’t have the equipment to bend and solder sheet metal,” you said, winking at her as she pulled out of the parking spot.

“So you didn’t build something in my apartment to solder all those things together?” she asked perceptively, making you wince.

“It was only a teeny tiny torch, nothing-”

“(Y/N)!” Peggy yelled. You cringed, ducking your head guiltily. To her credit, the car didn’t swerve even an inch, even though she as glaring at you with an alarming amount of disbelief and anger.

“I’ll take it apart when we get back! It’s completely harmless though, I swear!” you said placatingly.

Peggy looked like she could breathe fire right then, but turned her attention back to the road. “You better,” she said darkly. You gulped anxiously, but Peggy seemed to relax a bit after a few minutes.

“You might run into him, you know,” she said quietly as you approached headquarters.

You suddenly went rigid, mouth pressed into a hard line.

“I don’t know where he and Steve are right now. It’s possible they’re there,” she said, glancing worriedly over at you.

Although you hadn’t said so, she knew exactly why you’d been especially emotionally unstable the past few days (even worse than your first day or so back), as evidenced by her unwillingness to even say his name.

“I’ll just hole up in the lab. Make sure Howard keeps everyone out,” you said, forcing yourself to sound like you were just fine. You were not.

Peggy saw right through you. “Don’t hesitate to ask for a ride back to my apartment. Or punch him. It’s up to you, really,” she said bracingly, giving you a comforting pat on the hand.

You cracked a smile at that. “I _do_ have a killer right hook thanks to you.”

“But of course you do! Do you think I’d skimp on your self defense lessons?” she asked playfully, pretending to be offended.

You snorted. “No, you put me through the wringer. I’m surprised I don’t still have the bruises to prove it,” you said grimacing at the thought.

“Well, there’s a good chance it will be a nonissue,” Peggy said comfortingly as she pulled into a parking spot outside HQ.

You hopped out of the car and grabbed your bags off of the backseat and closed the door with your hips, seeing as your hands were full.

“I’ll see you tonight?” Peggy asked from the other side of the car.

“I don’t know, depends on how inspired I get,” you said, winking over your shoulder at her as you turned and walked towards the heavily guarded building.

Peggy called out a goodbye as she got back into her car and drove off. You made your way inside. By now, most of the guards knew you by sight so you weren’t given any trouble as you made your way to the lab you shared with Howard.

It was getting late at this point, six or seven at night, so you were surprised to find Howard still in the lab. He normally liked to leave as soon as possible to pick up women, only staying when he was faced with a particularly confounding challenge.

“Hey there, stranger. Whatcha workin’ on?” you asked him.

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of your voice, apparently not having heard you come in.

“(Y/N)! What are you doing here?” he asked as he poked his head up from behind his latest brainchild; a submersible vehicle similar to the one Hydra had used in their assassination of Abraham. You didn’t like the memories it dredged up, but it was different enough that you were able to stop dwelling on it.

You held up your shopping bags, a wicked grin taking its place on your face. “I had an idea.”

A matching mischievous grin lit up Howard’s features and he came over to peek into the bags. He spotted the various parts you collected and glanced up at you through his dark lashes.

“I’m intrigued. Tell me more.”

* * *

You didn’t go back to Peggy’s apartment that night. In fact, it was only when you and Howard realized it was around 2 pm the next day that you finally stopped working and took a break.

You glanced at your half-finished project, a proud smile on your face. You and Howard had made a ton of progress on it; if all went according to plan it would be finished before you left for Greece.

“Want anything from the cafeteria?” you asked Howard as you headed for the door.

“Coffee!” he called back, voice slightly drowned out by the machinery whirring in the background. He had a pair of dark glasses on, shielding his eyes from the bright sparks occasionally emitted from the wires and circuitry he was working on.

“Anything else?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. The two of you hadn’t eaten in… _jeez_ , eighteen hours. You were glad Stark had the same habit of working until you dropped, or you would have been going it alone for the last ten hours.

“More coffee!” he yelled back.

You rolled your eyes and headed out the door.

The cafeteria food wasn’t the best, but your stomach was killing you and the call of caffeine was too great to ignore.

You took your time perusing the sparse options, settling on a turkey sandwich and some strawberry yogurt. You poured two cups of coffee, fixing them just how you and Howard liked them and absently wondered if you could get an entire pot sent to the lab.

Satisfied, you grabbed your tray and turned to walk back to the lab, but were stopped by a solid mass of muscle blocking your way.

You stopped just in time to avoid running into the person and spilling everything on the tray, inevitably covering the person in coffee. “Oh, sorry, I-” you looked up at the person who blocked your path and the rest of your sentence died on your lips.

Steve looked down at you, probably looking just as surprised as you did. “(Y/N)! I didn’t know you were here!” he said. He paused and looked you up and down, eyebrows furrowing with concern. “Hey, when was the last time you slept? You-”

You smiled brightly at Steve, hoping to put him off balance. “I’m working with Howard on a last minute project! I’ve slept recently, so don’t worry! Gotta get back, though!” you said quickly as you hastily tried to step around him (it was difficult- there was a lot of Steve to maneuver around). You had to get back before-

“(Y/N).”

In your haste to get around Steve, you hadn’t realized _he_ was standing just a few feet behind him.

Bucky Barnes stared at you, eyes roaming you up and down, brows furrowed in a look of concern that matched Steve’s.

[Originally posted by alcantara420](https://tmblr.co/Z1iXoi2JiGq4h)

You froze like a deer in the headlights, a hundred emotions hitting you at once.

He looked like a lost puppy as he gazed at you. “I’m really glad to see you, Doll. It was like you dropped off the radar since we got back; I was real worried. I wanted to ask how you were doin’, but I haven’t seen you since the pub and you took off…”

Something inside you snapped. He was _glad_ to see you? He was _worried_ about you? He had the gall to look at you like _that_ with those steel blue eyes when he’d been flirting with your best friend not five days ago?

He seemed to realized he’d said something wrong because his sentence trailed off slowly, eyes widening slightly in fear; your anger must have shown on your face.

You walked up to him, glaring at him as you did so. “I’m fine. Thank you, _James_ ,” you said, practically spitting his name out at him. “Let me prove it to you,” you said darkly, your grimace twisting your usually calm features.

Your eyes flashed dangerously and he knew immediately that he was in trouble; his hands flew to protect his family jewels, but you simply raised your foot and slammed it back down again as hard as you could onto his toes; your heel struck true and you knew it had to hurt.

He let out an indignant yelp and bent double to clutch at his poor, mangled foot.

Grimly satisfied, you turned and sauntered off, tray gripped tightly in your hands. You’d attracted the attention of nearly the entire cafeteria, but you didn’t care.

It was only once he was out a sight and you’d had a minute to cool down that you thought, perhaps, you’d overreacted a bit.

No sooner had the thought crossed your mind than you heard your name being called out down the hall.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), wait! Please!”

You froze, his tone making you second guess the last few minutes of decision-making.

You turned to face him, eyeing him warily as he approached, noticing how he winced occasionally when he stepped with the foot you’d just assaulted.

Realizing you’d stopped, he allowed himself to slow to a brisk walk and just a moment later he was right in front of you (although just out of your reach, which was smart of him).

“What?” you asked, tone harder than you’d intended, making him wince.

“Can… can you please let me know what I did to deserve… _this_?” he asked, motioning to his foot.

You stared up at him, your poker face working overtime as your mind raced.

You couldn’t tell him the truth; it was petty, and you knew it. He wasn’t yours; he could flirt with whomever he liked. You had no right to get jealous. And, it was _Peggy._ Any man with a brain and working eyes flirted with her.

Still, you needed to say _something_.

“You shouldn’t have flirted with Peggy,” you said angrily.

Bucky- of all things- smirked at that. Smirked. Like some sort of playboy straight out of those stories you heard those gossipy ladies in the cafeteria telling. “Sorry, Doll. Did that upset you? If I had known-”

“Of course it upset me! Are you blind? She and Steve have a thing for each other! You don’t need to be in there mucking it all up for them!” you chastised.

The smile slid straight off of his face and he stared at you, seemingly dumbfounded.  “Come again?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You glanced over his shoulder, making sure Steve wasn’t nearby. “Peggy! And Steve! They like each other! Surely you’ve noticed by now!” you said, hoping you sounded convincingly annoyed by his slowness. Internally, you were just hoping he’d fall for your half truth.

Bucky’s mind finally seemed to start functioning again and he nodded. “I mean, yeah. It became clear pretty quick, but-” he paused, eyes searching your face. “Are you sure that’s all that this was about?” he asked slowly.

Your pulse thudded in your ears and you willed your voice to stay even. “Of course! She’s my best friend, you idiot. And I won’t have anyone- not even you- standing in the way of their happiness together!” you said petulantly, raising your chin defiantly.

_Please buy it please buy it please buy it-_

His eyes searched yours for a moment longer before he nodded. “Alright, alright. I got it. My bad,” he said, easy smile returning to his face. Something about it was off, though; it was a bit too stiff and it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You nodded, satisfied and relieved. “Now, if that’s all, I need to get back to the lab. Howard and I-”

“You’re workin’ with Stark?” Bucky asked, gaze hardening. His tone seemed odd; according to Steve, Bucky admired Howard greatly. He’d even dragged Steve out to the World Expo a few years ago to see him.

“Yes, we’re working on a few prototypes before I leave for Greece,” you said, studying him warily.

Bucky glanced down at the tray in your hands as though it held the answers he was looking for, but they returned to your face after a moment. “Well, I’ll leave the two geniuses to it. I guess I’ll see you on the plane?” Bucky asked, sounding every bit like the easy-going man he usually was.

You nodded slowly, biting back your disappointment. You weren’t exactly sure why you felt so disappointed, only that you somehow felt worse than you had just ten minutes ago. Still, you tried to work a smile onto your face. “Sounds good, Bucky.”

He smiled when you said his nickname; it was a genuine smile this time. “See you then, (Y/N),” he said, gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than it had to before he turned and headed back down the hall, presumably to Steve.

You sighed as you watched him go. To your surprise, when he got to the end of the hall he turned back to look at you. He seemed just as surprised as you when he realized you were still staring at him.

A wry grin lit up his features and he sent you a small wave. Heat snuck its way into your cheeks, embarrassed you’d been caught staring, and you turned on your heel and walked back to the lab, not able to look at him a second longer.

“Make sure you get some sleep!” he yelled from the end of the hall. You could hear the smile in his voice, along with his concern.

“Mind your own business, Barnes!” you yelled back, not bothering to look back at him. You did hear his laugh, though.

You rolled your eyes and, just then, your heart felt a tiny bit lighter.

You walked back into the lab and set the tray down on the table. Howard scuttled over and grabbed his mug and took a sip eagerly, only to grimace and spit it back into the cup.

“What?” you asked, concerned. You didn’t get his coffee wrong, did you?

He glared at the cup as though it had crashed his favorite car. “It’s cold.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Howard prep for the mission to Greece. Steve is an idiot. Bucky is an idiot. You see the guys for the first time since the night at the pub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: Language

[Originally posted by athens-burns](https://tmblr.co/ZKX60e2Me_aCi)

**A few hours later, after a cat nap**

“Hey, are those shield prototypes ready yet? Steve should be here soon,” Howard said, poking his head out from behind the tactical motor bike he was working on.

“Yup! They’re all ready to go on the table by the door,” you said absently, working away at a huge rifle you’d been inspired to start making a few hours ago. You and Howard were taking a break from your suit in order to ensure the team had enough equipment for the mission, but you were still confident it’d be done before you left tomorrow.

“I’m going to go see what’s keeping him, then,” Howard said as he set down his tools. He wiped his hands of the worst of the grease and left the lab in search of Steve.

He and Steve returned a few minutes later, deep in conversation.

“Fondue’s just cheese and bread, my friend,” you head Howard say.

You glanced up from your work to look at them. Steve seemed unusually confused. “Really? I didn’t think…”

“Nor should you, pal. The moment you think you know what’s going on in a woman’s head, is the moment your goose is well and truly cooked,” Howard said solemnly.

“Oh god, Steve. What did you do?” you asked, setting down your tools as you walked over to the two of them.

“See, Exhibit A! The entire base is still abuzz about the scene (Y/N) and Barnes pulled in the cafeteria earlier today! Even a playboy like him has trouble with the ladies sometimes,” Howard said gesturing to you.

“Howard, if you don’t shut up right now I’m going to shove my rifle where the sun don’t shine,” you hissed, glowering at him. He and Steve leaned to the side in unison to look past you, where the prototype rifle sat on the table, their eyes widening as they beheld it. It was nearly as tall as you were, all hard lines and cold steel.

Howard swallowed nervously, his adam’s apple visibly bobbing in his throat. “Right, got it. Anyway.” he quickly hurried off towards the tables where most of the gear you and he had made for the team was being held and you returned to your rifle. “Me, I focus on my work. Which at the moment, is about making sure you and your men don’t get killed.”

“And me,” you added, glowering at him over your rifle as you made adjustments.

“And (Y/N),” Howard amended. He pointed at some of the fabric you and he had synthesized. “Carbon polymer. Should withstand your average German bayonet. Although, uh, Hydra’s not going to attack you with a pocket knife. (Y/N) got your design already and your new suit is being made as we speak.”

The two of them made their way along to the table to the one laden with shields. “I hear you’re… attached,” Howard said, rapping his knuckles on the shield that was much worse for the wear, the fist imprint of one Johann Schmidt still gouged into the center.

“It’s handier than you might think,” Steve said, fingers ghosting over its surface fondly.

“(Y/N) and I took the liberty of coming up with some options,” Howard said, glancing down at the table. He pointed at the first one. “This one’s fun. She’s been fitted with electrical relays that allow you to-”

Steve, however, spotted the shield on the ground, just like you knew he would.

“What about this one?” he asked, holding the circular shield up in question.

“No, that’s just a prototype,” Howard said, frowning.

“I told you,” you said in a sing-song voice from across the room, causing Howard to glare at you. He’d bet money that one of his designs would be chosen, but you knew they were all too flashy for Steve.

“What’s it made of?” Steve asked, glancing between you and Howard, brows furrowed in question.

“Vibranium,” you said, smirking.

“It’s stronger than steel and a third the weight. It’s completely vibration absorbent,” Howard explained as Steve tested it’s weight curiously.

“Wellllll…” you said skeptically. You hadn’t completely figured out all of it’s properties yet, but it was definitely up there with some of the odder elements you’d ever used.

“How come it’s not standard issue?” Steve asked, looping his arm through the handles in the back.

“That’s the rarest metal on earth. What you’re holding there, that’s all we got,” you said, smirking. You’d wanted to use it for your own inventions, but you and Howard ultimately decided it would be put to better use on Steve.

“Are you two quite finished?” Peggy asked, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. You knew that look on her face and suddenly wished you had a shield or ten to hide behind. “I’m sure the Captain has some unfinished business.”

Steve, however, didn’t seem to sense the danger immediately. “What do you think?” he asked, looking like a little kid with a new toy.

Peggy’s jaw worked dangerously for a second and you knew what was about to happen a split second before it did.

She picked up the gun beside her and aimed it directly at Steve, who barely raised the shield in time.

[Originally posted by lokisophelia](https://tmblr.co/ZDzXwp267s_YO)

Four shots rang out, frighteningly loud in the relative quiet of the lab, drawing the attention of every person present. Howard was cringing away from the shots, and, once Peggy had stopped firing, Steve peeked out hesitantly from behind the shield.

Peggy lowered her gun and sighed heavily, before she put on a glaringly fake smile. “Yes, I think it works,” she said innocently before placing the gun back down onto the table and storming off.

You would go after her in a minute, once she had a chance to cool off.

Steve and Howard watched her walk away, dumbstruck.

“I had some ideas about the design…” Steve said absently, as he handed Howard a piece of paper, eyes not leaving Peggy until she walked through the doors at the other end of the room.

“Whatever you want, pal,” Howard said as he took it, staring dumbly at Peggy, too.

“Steve… what the _hell_ did you do?” you asked, already knowing his answer would be something really, really stupid.

* * *

**A Day Later, Airstrip just outside of London**

You watched as they unloaded your crates from the truck, grimacing at the sheer volume of items you had.

“I’ve always heard that some people over pack, but this is a bit much, (Y/N),” said a teasing voice behind you.

You turned to look at Steve and winced. “I know, I know. Most of them are my inventions, though. In fact-” you stepped out of the way to reveal a relatively modestly sized suitcase “-this is my real luggage.

Steve turned his attention to the crates, eyeing them warily. “Just how safe are these inventions? Should we really be bringing them on the plane?” he asked worriedly.

“Calm down, Stevie. Howard and I tested everything and only brought the really, really safe ones… and the ones that we didn’t have time to test but thought would be really helpful,” you said, saying the last part under your breath.

“I heard that,” Steve said, glaring at you out of the corner of his eye.

Ah, right. Super hearing. Damn.

“Alright, what’s in the crates, little lady? I know those aren’t full of clothes.”

“Please tell me they’re new toys for us to play with.”

You spun to face the source of the voices, grin lighting up your features. “Dum Dum! Gabe!” you rocketed yourself at them, barely managing to get your arms even halfway around the two of them.

They both laughed merrily and engulfed you in a giant hug.

“You’re looking much better,” came a voice from behind them.

“James!” you said eagerly, wiggling out of Gabe and Dum Dum’s grasp to give Falsworth a hug. He returned it a little bit stiffly (silly Brits aren’t always good at showing their affection), but his bright smile belied his actions.

“Où est mon câlin, mademoiselle?” _Where’s my hug, miss?_

You turned and saw Jacques standing there, beaming brightly at you.

“Ici!” you said excitedly, launching yourself into his open arms. _Right here!_

He laughed as he caught you, giving you an affectionate squeeze before he held you at arms length, assessing you critically. “Tu as l'air beaucoup plus sain,” he said, smiling. _You look much healthier._

“Merci, mon ami. Toi aussi!” you said, smiling at him. _Thank you, my friend. You too._

“Man, I kind of regret sleeping through french now,” said another voice.

You looked away from Jacques and spotted Jim. You turned and went to throw your arms around him, but he stopped you just out of arms reach by placing a hand firmly on your shoulder.

“Nah, we’re not there yet,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you.

You deflated a bit, suddenly embarrassed. “Oh, uh, sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed-”

“Ah, I’m just kidding!” Jim said playfully, engulfing you in his arms. You laughed and hugged him back just as fiercely.

“Seems like I’m late to the party,” came another voice.

You disentangled yourself from Jim and glanced over his shoulder at Bucky, gaze hardening just a bit.

[Originally posted by squishedbyseb](https://tmblr.co/ZUSJ1g2CImNpw)

The rest of the guys didn’t miss your sudden shift in demeanor; it was easy to notice Bucky was the only one who hadn’t gotten an exuberant hello.

“Well, now that we’re all here, and everything’s loaded, we should get going,” you said, turning away to face Steve. “By your orders, Captain,” you said with a wink and cheeky salute.

He smiled at you and nodded. “We’ll leave as soon as our pilot shows up.”

“Oh, they didn’t tell you? _I’m_ your pilot,” you said, grinning broadly. Six sets of eyes locked onto you with varying reactions from surprised to fearful to impressed.

Steve, however, had visibly blanched. “Y- You’re our pilot?” he asked, dread creeping into his voice.

You nodded, mischievous grin on your face, and patted him heartily on the chest as you walked past him and up the steps into the plane. You got to the top of the stairs and glanced behind you, surprised to see none of them have moved. You rolled your eyes at them.

“Come on, then. We don’t have all day. Or am I going to have to take down Hydra by myself?” you asked them challengingly.

Most of them grinned at that and began boarding the plane, but Steve was still looking at you in abject horror. “We’re all gonna die,” he muttered forlornly.

Bucky walked up behind him and clapped him hard on the back. “C’mon, pal. Daylight’s burning. It’ll be alright,” he said comfortingly.

Steve turned to look at his friend, anxiety coloring his features. “No, Buck. You don’t understand. She-”

“She can’t be that bad of a pilot,” Bucky said, frowning.

“No, it’s not that. She’s one of the best pilots I’ve ever met-”

“Then why are you having a panic attack?” Bucky asked, crossing his arms as he stared at Steve in confusion.

“She had no regard for air safety code. She races other planes! Commercial planes! Enemy planes! Doesn’t care about regulated air space! She does tricks when she feels like it! I was asleep on a flight across the country one time and she did a barrel roll! My suitcase fell on my head and one of the dancers broke a leg!” Steve said, horrors of his trips with you flashing through his mind.

Bucky looked less sure now, but put on a brave smile anyway. “We don’t have much of a choice, pal. No one else knows how to fly.”

Steve looked utterly defeated, but nodded and drudged his way up the stairwell. Bucky followed after him with a sigh. At least the flights would never be boring.

* * *

By the time you were landing in Greece, Bucky was having second thoughts about his earlier words. To be sure, you were an amazing pilot… but everything Steve had said earlier was true.

Gabe, Jim, and Jacques had all been excited by your impromptu maneuvers, but Steve, Dum Dum, James, and Bucky white-knuckled the entire flight.

“One of us is learning how to fly. Asap,” Steve said to Bucky, looking just a tad green as the plane rolled its way into its spot, guided along by men on the ground.

Bucky nodded along eagerly, stomach still queasy from the flight. He would be happy once he was back on solid ground.

You emerged from the cockpit, stretching as you let out a huge yawn. “Alright, there should be a truck and a military SUV waiting for us. If it’s alright with you guys, I think I’ll take a pass on driving. I haven’t slept in about nineteen hours, so a bit of shut eye sounds amazing right now.”

Steve and Bucky looked at you in abject horror.

“You… you haven’t slept in nineteen hours… and you flew a plane. In war-torn Europe,” Bucky said incredulously.

Steve was rubbing the bridge of his nose, attempting to steady his breathing. “You and I are having a very stern talk later,” he said forebodingly.

You raised an eyebrow at them. It was clear from the look on your face you thought they were overreacting. “Fine, if you insist. I would like to point out that we made it here in great time and in one piece, though,” you said before you turned on your heel and walked away to start unpacking the plane.

Steve looked dangerously frustrated, but eventually only let out a year’s worth of sighs.

“Steve! Bucky!” you called from the other side of the plane where the crates were being unloaded.

Steve and Bucky glanced at each other and made their way over.

When they saw what you were standing in front of, their jaws dropped.

Two gleaming, cutting edge motor bikes were strapped down in the crate behind you, just asking to be ridden with their sleek lines and mysterious features.

“Meet M0XY and P8RIT, or as I like to call them, Moxie and Patriot!” you said, pointing to them in turn. “Patriot has enough horsepower to pull a tank and Moxie has a state of the art electric engine, meaning it can be used for stealth infiltration; no loud motor to give your position away! Moxie’s mine, of course, but they won’t fit in the truck, so someone has to drive her while I sleep-”

“Please yes,” Bucky said, eyeing the jet black machine with something akin to reverence.

You bit back a grin and nodded. “Yeah, alright. Just don’t scratch her. That engine’s one of a kind,” you said, tossing them both a pair of keys. 

“When did you have time to build these?” Steve asked, fingers ghosting over the subdued red, white, and blue tones of Patriot reverently.

“Remember when I said I hadn’t slept in nineteen hours? Yeah, Howard and I were hard at work,” you said, happy that they seemed so pleased with your inventions. “Although to be fair, the groundwork for them has been done for a while,” you said, getting even more excited at the prospect of revealing your other gadgets to them.

“Now, let’s get the truck packed up and get this show on the road, eh?” you asked, jerking a thumb over your shoulder at the veritable mountain of crates behind you.

The both groaned, but called over the rest of the guys and not twenty minutes later you were on your way to the building that would serve as your base camp during your mission in Greece.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky are given a mission together. When you get there, you meet one of Steve’s contacts. He and Bucky don’t get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: Language, breach of motorcycle safety (just because people from the 40′s believed helmets weren’t important doesn’t mean you should, too)

[Originally posted by ghostwritingforyou](https://tmblr.co/ZXlCrg27p7A5q)

**A few days later - Greece - Twenty miles from the Hydra base - A small town**

“I refuse.”

Steve sighed and buried his face in his hands. “It has to be you, (Y/N).”

“Then send me with James or Jim! Dum Dum! Please! Just not _him_ ,” you pleaded.

“I’m right here, (Y/N),” Bucky said, tone and gaze flat.

Steve sighed, glancing between his two best friends tiredly. “Bucky’s our best scout and you need to be there if the new equipment malfunctions,” Steve said for the tenth time.

You raised your chin and glared down your nose at Steve, jaw set stubbornly. “Is this an order, _Captain_?” you asked scathingly.

Steve let out an almighty sigh as he eyed you warily. He didn’t speak right away, obviously thinking hard, weighing his options.

“Yes, it is,” he said quietly but firmly, blue eyes hard.

You bit back your anger and gave him a crisp but mocking salute. “Understood, _Captain_. I’ll begin preparations immediately,” you said, tone stiff and formal. You didn’t wait for a dismissal and, with military precision, turned on your heel and walked out of the planning room.

The house you were using a base was just barely large enough to hold all of you. You ended up getting one of the lofts; it was small, but you had your privacy, unlike the guys who were bunking two or three to a room.

It was sparsely decorated and had the bare minimum for furnishings, making you miss Peggy’s quaint little place fiercely.

You began packing your things a little more violently than you needed to, grumbling choice swears whenever you threw something into your bag more roughly than was strictly necessary

When someone knocked on the railing, you didn’t have to look at the stairwell to figure out who it was.

“What do you want, Steve?” you asked tersely.

“Are you decent?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes, Steve. You can open your eyes. Now… What. Do. You. Want?” you asked, punctuating each word forcefully.

He walked up the last few stairs and into your tiny room, having to bend over a bit so his head wouldn’t touch the ceiling. “I think you hurt Bucky’s feelings,” Steve said quietly, eyes searching you for any clues as to your unusual behavior. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly, but he almost never saw you that outright unreasonable and angry with another person. He was just lucky the other guys were off on their own missions for the day; they didn’t witness that particular episode between the three of you. Having tensions running this high this early on didn’t bode well.

You scoffed at that. You hurt his feelings? That was rich.

Still, you put on your best poker face as you responded, trying to keep your tone as even as possible. “Don’t much see how feelings effect the mission here. I’ll do what I need to do. Make sure we both get back alive with the intel,” you said flatly, determinedly not looking at Steve as you continued gathering things you’d need for the mission.

“(Y/N)…” he said slowly, watching you work, worry clear in his voice.

“If there’s nothing else you need, I’d like to focus on packing,” you said, still deftly avoiding his confused bright blue eyes.

You didn’t realize how close he was until he placed a hand gently on your shoulder, causing your gaze to snap up to him reflexively. “I know I’m not Peggy, but you can tell me anything, alright, (Y/N)? You and Bucky are my best friends and it hurts not seein’ the two of you get along,” Steve said earnestly.

You caved under those kind blue eyes and nodded, but didn’t dare reveal the reason why you were so on edge: the thought of being alone with Bucky for an entire day was a special kind of torture in and of itself. “I know, Steve. I’m sorry. I’ll… try to be more civil,” you said, grimacing a bit at the thought.

 _Yeah, easier said that done_. Your anger at him for flirting with Peggy was the only thing holding back the bitter, crushing wave of sadness that accompanied the realization that he didn’t like you the way you liked him.

He smiled and engulfed you in a hug and you grumbled discontentedly, but wrapped your arms around him and gave him an affectionate hug back. After a moment he released you, sending you a blindingly sweet smile. “Thank you, (Y/N). That’s all I can ask for,” he said happily

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. You’re a sap, you know that?” you asked, giving him the stink eye.

He looked a little offended at that, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “I… I am not!”

“Uh huh. Sure,” you said, giving him a disbelieving side-eyed stare. You threw another gadget into your bag then fixed him with a predatory stare which he noticed immediately, tensing almost imperceptibly. “So, tell me about the stupid shit you said to Peggy.”

He gulped audibly, immediately turning the shade of a cherry tomato. He went from a tall, intimidating man to a timid boy in the span of a few heartbeats. “I didn’t mean to-”

* * *

By the time you’d finished packing, you were able to set Steve on the right path with Peggy. You didn’t come right out and say that Peggy liked him (she hadn’t even told _you_ that yet, technically, but you weren’t blind), but assured him Stark wasn’t an issue and that he should continue to pursue her if he liked her as much as you thought he did.

He got even more flustered when you’d said that, looking like a fish out of water as his words failed him. A very, very red fish.

Not ten minutes after that conversation ended you were headed out the door of the home base, ready to begin your reconnaissance mission with Bucky. You were taking Moxie to the stakeout point, as she provided the best opportunity to get in and out of enemy territory unnoticed.

He’d already loaded his gear into the saddlebags on the sides, which meant whoever was in back would have your backpack and his rifle. He was staring at you warily from a few feet away, clearly apprehensive over whether or not you’d have a conniption again.

“I’m guessing you want to drive?” he asked quietly, holding Moxie’s keys out to you.

You clenched your jaw, fighting back angry, petty retorts and traded the keys for your bag with a stiff nod.

“Good luck, you two… Come back in one piece, alright?” Steve asked, eyeing the two of you worriedly as you got on the black bike.

“Yeah, alright _mom_ ,” you said, rolling your eyes at him.

“We’ll be alright, Stevie,” Bucky said, grinning at the blond man as you turned the bike on. You felt the bike dip as he took a seat behind you and tensed up as you felt him settle just a few inches behind you.

Maybe you should have let him drive after all. This was going to be so distracting you were likely to crash or drive straight into enemies.

“See you in a day, Steve,” you said, giving him a small wave which you saw Bucky mimic.

Bucky only had a split second to grab onto you for dear life before you were speeding down narrow Greek streets, surprising people left and right by your sudden, near-silent appearance.

You tried your best to ignore the feeling of his firm, broad chest pressed up against your back, along with his warm, muscular arms wrapped around your waist.

“Slow down, Doll. You’re going to run somebody over,” he said, voice slightly obscured by the wind.

“Don’t like it fast, Barnes?” you asked challengingly, eyes glued to the road.

“I like it slow, actually,” he said wickedly into your ear. You didn’t have to turn around to know he was smirking.

The bike came a screeching halt, shoving him even more forcefully into your back. You whirled, eyes wide as your mind attempted to process the insinuation.

“Excuse me?” you asked incredulously.

Bucky had been surprised by the sudden stop, but recovered quickly. He coached his features back into something resembling neutrality. “Road safety and all that,” he said airily, unable to meet your eyes, and inched back from you as subtly as he could manage.

You took a deep breath and glared at him. “Head in the game, Barnes. And no more back seat driving,” you warned, turning back to the road and sped off, once again making him lunge forward to hold onto you so he wouldn’t go flying off the back end of the bike.

* * *

Not ten minutes later you pulled up to the meeting point Steve had set up with his contact. According to Steve, he’d been out here surveying the base for a while and could help you and Bucky out immensely.

You’d barely gotten off the bike when a figure appeared in the treeline. Both you and Bucky drew your guns instantly and pointed them directly at the newcomer.

“Good, you’re here,” the man said gruffly and walked into your small clearing.

“Are you our contact?” Bucky asked without lowering his gun, eyeing the man warily. He was huge and muscular and looked like he could rip the two of you apart with his bare hands. He had an almost animalistic aura about him and it was obvious to you how he’d survived this close to a Hydra base for as long as he had. He was, however, shorter than you’d realized at first; only 5′5″ or 5′6″.

“That I am, pretty boy. Name’s Logan,” he said, studying the two of you with his sharp, intelligent eyes.

[Originally posted by usedpimpa](https://tmblr.co/ZOdZes2SFzKnq)

“Rank?” Bucky asked, subconsciously drawing himself up to his full height.

“Classified,” Logan said darkly, glaring up at Bucky.

Bucky’s jaw clenched as he stared the shorter man down. Height disadvantage or no, Logan was intimidating simply by breathing.

You tried your best to dissolve the tension.

“Logan, it’s nice to meet you. My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). This is Sergeant James Barnes,” you said, holding your hand out to him.

Logan’s gaze flicked to you and he did a double take. His demeanor changed in an instant and he took your hand and brought it to his lips, ghosting a kiss over your knuckles. “Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N),” he said, sending a flirty wink up your way.

Bucky bristled at that, but you missed it, a single thought flashing in your mind.

_Oh god, there are two of them now._

* * *

“Your sight’s adjusted to shit,” Bucky said scathingly from his spot on the lookout perch. He was laying on his stomach next to you, gazing through the scope of Logan’s rifle, which was already set up when you and Bucky had arrived.

“That’s because I don’t use it,” Logan barked back right over your head.

How you’d ended up between these two meat heads was beyond you.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. You’d placed yourself between them so they wouldn’t try to kill each other.

“Boys, stop thinking with what’s between your legs and focus, _please_ ,” you hissed, wishing they’d be quieter. They both let out annoyed huffs, but turned their attention back to the Hydra camp.

“They’re more active today. Must know you and Captain Tightpants are coming,” Logan said, glancing at you. You couldn’t help but notice how nice his eyes were once you were this close to him.

Damn, maybe _you_ were the one that needed to focus.

“Not good. If they’re prepared for us it’ll make it that much harder to take this base down,” you said forlornly.

Logan snorted at that. “They can prepare all they want. They’re still stupid assholes who have no idea how to defend their position,” Logan said disdainfully.

“He’s right about that much,” Bucky said begrudgingly, finally pulling his gaze from the rifle’s scope to join the conversation. “They’re leaving holes left and right. Could be a trap, though.”

“Trust me, it’s not. They’re just really that bad at holding the perimeter,” Logan said, smirking at the base below.

“Well, I’ll leave this to the experts. Try not to kill each other while I set up camp, alright?” you asked, pausing to glare at them individually.

Logan let out an annoyed huff. “Fine, but only because such a pretty lady is askin’,” he said, throwing a wink at you that made your cheeks heat and heart beat faster in your chest.

Bucky glared at him, but his gaze softened when he looked at you. “Sure you don’t need help with the tents, (Y/N)?” he asked, concern clear in his voice.

You decided not to dignify that with a response. You gave him an unimpressed, flat stare and carefully shimmed yourself away from the ledge, only standing once you were sure you wouldn’t be spotted by Hydra guards.

You heard Logan laughing smugly, followed by the distinct sound of flesh hitting flesh hard, followed by an angry growl by Logan. “Hey, watch it, Bub! Another stunt like that and I’ll shove your feet so far up your ass you’ll taste your toes,” you heard Logan say dangerously just before you went out of earshot.

You groaned as you dug through the saddlebags for the tents, cursing Steve for ever forcing you on this mission. At this rate, all three of you would be dead by morning.

* * *

By the time they returned you had camp set up. It seemed odd to you that Logan didn’t have a camp of any kind yet, but it hadn’t taken you very long to realize Logan wasn’t exactly normal.

While Greece was pretty temperate, the mid November chill was still a bit more than you enjoyed and you ardently wished you could build a fire. Of course, the camp was too close to the Hydra base to do so, leaving you to try and keep warm with only a thin sleeping bag that night.

You’d made a not to yourself to make a portable space heater before winter got in full swing.

“Alright, we decided to do a rotation tonight. One person sleeps, the other keeps watch over the camp, and the third continues observations on the base,” Bucky informed you as he and Logan made their way into the camp.

“You’re up for reconnaissance first, sweetheart,” Logan said, winking at you.

You fought back a groan. Laying on the cold, hard ground for a couple of hours didn’t sound particularly appearing, but you wanted to do your part. “Got it,” you said resignedly, dusting your pants off as you stood. “Just give me a minute and then I’ll head out there,” you said, disappearing into your tent.

Bucky watched you, eyebrow raised in curiosity, but Logan yawned loudly and walked over to his bedroll, falling asleep almost instantly. His loud snores rang out seconds later and Bucky worried that they’d be found by that noise alone. Bucky rolled his eyes at the man and took a seat against a tree, using the trunk as a back rest.

About five minutes later you emerged from your tent and Bucky swore he stopped breathing.

You were dressed in all black, the remnants of daylight getting absorbed by the dark material. Although you wore a long black leather overcoat that covered your torso and half of your legs, Bucky could tell the pants you were wearing were sinfully tight. Long black sleeves that ended in black and gold gloves obscured your arms and hands, and a half mask dangled around your neck.

“What… what are you wearing?” Bucky asked, swallowing thickly as he looked you up and down. You reminded him of all those spy movies he’d been dragged to by one of his previous girls.

You glanced at him and shifted nervously, looking away shyly. _Shyly_. Bucky’s heart beat faster in his chest and he willed himself to keep calm.

“It’s… Just to keep me hidden. I thought it would be a good idea to blend in with the darkness,” you said timidly.

Bucky nodded, looking determinedly away from you. “Yeah, good plan. If anything happens, just shout. We’ll be right here,” he said, eyes trained firmly on the ground.

You nodded, not noticing his odd reaction as you were too preoccupied by your own thoughts. “See you in three hours,” you said quietly, walking out of the clearing without another word.

Bucky watched you go, biting his lip as you disappeared into the treeline.

“Don’t you dare start acting on those impure thoughts,” Logan said, startling Bucky. Bucky hadn’t noticed he’d stirred.

He glared at the shorter man, annoyance taking the place of the torrent of other emotions he’d just been feeling. “Shut the hell up and go to sleep, you bastard.”

* * *

You didn’t want to lie to Bucky about your suit, but knew he wouldn’t react well if you’d told him the truth. No matter how many times you proved you could handle yourself he always seemed to treat you like you were a fragile flower.

No, you wouldn’t tell him or Steve about your suit’s powers until you absolutely had to. They’d almost definitely try to take it away from you.

You and Howard had completed it just a few hours before you’d had to leave so it wasn’t tested yet and you were a bit hesitant about wearing it out immediately, but it was better than being out in Hydra occupied territory without it.

It was a little bit harder to find the lookout point in the rapidly descending darkness, but you eventually found your way to it and laid down, resolving yourself to three boring hours of watching men walk around a fence.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, Logan, and Bucky finish the reconnaissance mission. A surprise has Bucky treating you differently, although you can’t figure out what happened. You and the Commandos take down the Hydra base, but of course things don’t go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventually)
> 
> Warnings: Language, Angry German, violence, blood, death

[Originally posted by minmiin1d](https://tmblr.co/Zfk--q2OJL3_P)

Your _everything_ was numb by the time Bucky showed up to relieve you of your post.

“Anything unusual?” he asked quietly as he took his place on the ground and held a pair of binoculars up to his eyes, studying the base warily.

“Equipment shipment forty-five minutes ago. No other changes in activity,” you said stiffly, willing your teeth not to chatter.

Bucky glanced up at you, worry creasing his brow. “Go get some sleep, Dollface. Logan should be standing guard already, but I wouldn’t put it past him to fall back asleep in the time I’ve been gone,” he said.

“You had to wake him up, didn’t you?” you asked, wincing at that mental image.

He grimaced and nodded. “Bastard tried to clock me. Barely dodged the hit in time, but he came to his senses pretty fast. Even apologized, which surprised me.”

You smiled a bit at that. “Wow, apologies! You two are making progress.”

He rolled his eyes at you and scoffed. “Yeah, don’t get used to it,” he said, turning his attention back to the base. “Go get some sleep, (Y/N),” he said softly.

Normally a direct order like that would have ticked you off, but something in the way he said it didn’t ruffle your feathers at all.

“Alright, have fun,” you said with a wink and a smirk before you walked away, missing the way he couldn’t tear his eyes from you as you left.

Logan was awake when you arrived, whittling away at a bit of wood of all things. He didn’t bother to look up at you from his spot against a tree as you entered the camp. He was puffing away at a fat cigar and you had to wonder how he’d gotten it, but decided to ask later.

“What kept you, sweetheart?” he asked curiously, glancing up at you through his eyelashes.

“Just gave Bucky an update.” _and then we talked for a little bit._

Why didn’t you include that part?

Logan studied you carefully for a moment before he nodded. “Get some sleep, little lady,” he said, giving you a small smile, which you returned two-fold.

He had a nice smile. He should smile more often instead of glowering at everything that moved.

“Will do, Logan. See you in a few hours,” you said, smiling over your shoulder at him as you entered your tent.

You didn’t hear the frustrated sigh or see the annoyed scowl on his face just a moment later. “Just had to be a pretty dame…” he muttered under his breath.

* * *

“Wake up, sweetheart,” came a quiet, gravelly voice next to you.

You awoke with a start and your eyes immediately locked onto Logan, who crammed carefully into your tent, hovering next to you.

“Logan, what-”

 You suddenly realized exactly how cold you were and it sent your teeth chattering. You gripped your sleeping back to yourself and rubbed your hands over your arms, attempting to work heat back into your frigid body. Apparently it had gotten extremely cold while you’d been asleep.

Logan let out a small huff of laughter.

“Izzo cold,” you whispered, barely managing to speak through your chattering teeth. Your entire body trembled and the horrible vision of you dying frozen in a tent in the middle of nowhere in Greece flashed in your mind.

“Yeah, I s’pose it is,” Logan said, smirking. “Mind if I help?”

Thinking he’d grab his bed roll or Bucky’s sleeping bag, you nodded eagerly, not trusting yourself to speak.

Instead, he surprised you by picking you up, sleeping bag and all, and carrying you easily out of your tent.

The outside air was even chillier than your tent, but his warmth diffused easily through the thin fabric of the sleeping bag. “W-what’re you doin’?” you stuttered, looking up at Logan in confusion.

“Can’t keep you warm in your tent and keep watch, so I’m improvising,” he said, making his way over to the spot he’d was sitting at earlier.

“How didju know I wuzz col’?” you managed to say.

He chuckled at that and you could feel it deep in his chest. “I could hear your teeth chattering from here,” he said as he sat down, placing you gently between his legs, which he had spread wide. He reached down and unzipped the sleeping bag and you had a few seconds of freeing torture before he pulled you gently to his chest and laid the sleeping bag over the two of you like a blanket.

The effect was immediate. The second your head touched his chest and his arms went around you, your teeth stopped chattering and your body stopped trembling.

Heat went straight to you cheeks and you were thankful he couldn’t see your face. You hadn’t been expecting _this_.

“This alright?” he asked, his chest rumbling under your head.

Considering your options were freezing to death or snuggling with an attractive, kind, muscular man, your choice was easy.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you said quietly, relaxing into the warmth of his embrace. The smell of cigar smoke was surprisingly comforting.

“Then get some sleep,” he said quietly, breath tickling your hair.

You barely heard the words, already falling fast asleep, secure in Logan’s arms.

* * *

**Bucky’s POV**

Bucky wanted to get up and pace, unable to get the sight of you out of his head, but had to stay put (he didn’t feel like getting shot tonight). The sight of you in that tight black suit was wrecking his concentration.

He messed up, though. It was clear you hated him now. He didn’t know you were there the night he’d flirted with Peggy. He was trying to get a reaction out of Steve; it was clear the punk had a crush on the woman and he was hoping to get a better understanding of exactly how much she liked him.

But you’d been there. You’d probably heard all of it, if you reaction was anything to go by. He’d tried a few times to explain what had happened, but were having none of it; you shut him down every time he’d tried.

He checked his watch and let out a huff. It was a time to swap, which meant he’d finally get some sleep… with you on watch. Even with a tent between the two of you, he wasn’t sure he’d sleep well with you awake only a few feet away.

He walked back to the camp slowly, yawning tiredly. Maybe he could take some time to explain-

When he entered the small clearing, he froze at the sight before him.

You were snuggled up to Logan, laying between his legs, fast asleep. You looked completely at peace laying there and Bucky’s heart broke at the sight. How did the two of you go from being so close to fighting all the time? It was practically all the two of you did these days. He wanted to be where Logan was, holding you protectively as you slept. Had you done anything together? He didn’t think you would move that fast, but he’d wasn’t sure anymore. His mind was spinning as he tried to reel in his emotions.

Logan must have sensed the anger Bucky was sending his way because he tensed and leveled a glare at Bucky.

“Got something to say, pretty boy?” Logan whispered, raising an eyebrow challeningly at Bucky.

Bucky’s self control snapped and he opened his mouth to chew Logan out, but you stirred suddenly.

“Bucky…” you whispered, just loud enough for Bucky to hear.

Both Bucky and Logan froze, gazes drawn to you like magnets.

You shuffled in Logan’s arms, but it was clear to both of them you were still asleep.

“Bucky… don’ go…” you murmured, eyes moving rapidly behind their lids as you dreamed.

Bucky stared at you, dumbfounded. Was he going crazy? Was his poor mind just hearing things it wanted to?

Logan had a rueful smirk on, though, and glanced up at Bucky. “Damn, I must be losing my touch,” he teased.

Apparently he’d been just a bit too loud, because you stirred at the sound of his voice this time.

You blinked blearily up at Logan and then around the camp, jumping slightly in surprise when you spotted Bucky standing on the other side of the camp.

“Time to switch out?” you asked tiredly, sitting up and away from Logan’s chest to stretch.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Logan said, patting your back lightly. “Sleep alright?” he asked, raising and eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, I did. Thank you, Logan,” you said sincerely. “Let me get out of you way so that Bucky-”

You glanced over at him and did a double take, words dying in your throat.

To your immense confusion, Bucky was giving you the brightest, most delighted smile you’d ever seen. It was like Christmas had come early or something.

“What… is there something on my face?”

* * *

**A Week Later, Hydra Base Infiltration Operation**

Ever since that night on your and Bucky’s missions, he’d been treating you completely differently. You weren’t sure what exactly had warranted the sudden change, but you were secretly too pleased to question it. For the first few day you still made scathing comments at his expense, but he took them in stride and _smiled_ at you. It was weird. He spent a lot of time with you while you were working, asking you questions when his curiosity was piqued. He was especially interested in the sniper rifle you were still making adjustments to. He beheld it with reverence and asked if he could be the first one to try it out when it was ready, to which you’d agreed, covertly happy that he’d taken such an interest in your work. You always knew Bucky was intelligent; Steve had told you as much when he’d told you about Bucky all those months ago. You were still surprised, though, when he was able to more or less grasp the complicated mechanical designs you described to him. Most people looked at you like you were speaking a different language when you spoke (Howard being the most notable exception), but not Bucky. He asked a lot of questions to clarify, but he understood things most people didn’t (especially when it came to guns).

You were camped out less than a click away from the base on a lookout spot, keeping an eye on the guys as they made their way through the facility.

You’d outfitted them with the latest technology from yourself and Stark and they seemed to be cutting through the Hydra soldiers with ease.

“Good, Dernier’s explosives seem to be working…” you muttered to yourself as an explosion decimated the left wing of the building, right on schedule.

As predicted, the Hydra soldiers rushed out of the fiery wing and straight into the kill zone Steve and the others had created. You glanced up at the spot you knew Bucky was, keeping lookout on the team from above with the rifle you’d finally finished. He’d tested it out yesterday and raved to you about how much he loved it for a solid two hours. Apparently he’d enjoyed having a hand in finalizing it, as it now worked perfectly for him.

When you saw a Hydra squad sneaking up on his position, you sprung into action without thinking, pulling the half mask over the bottom part of your face as you went.

You left from your cover and clicked your heels together. You shot a good inch or so upwards as tread-covered wheels popped out of the soles of your boots.

“Here goes nothing,” you said, grimacing as you pressed a button on your glove.

Tiny engines roared to life in the heels of your boots, making you jolt forward. You did your best to remember all those times you roller skated as a kid as you sped through the forest, trying your best to dodge trees, bushes, large rocks, and branches. You had to hop over a fallen log and nearly lost your balance on the landing.

You were on Bucky’s position in less than a minute, surprising him and Hydra soldiers alike as you sped into the clearing. You hastily pressed the button on your glove, nearly losing your balance again as you stumbled to a halt, running the last few steps as your body slowed down.

The men all stared at you, completely dumbstruck.

“(Y/N)?” Bucky asked, his first frozen a few inches from a Hydra soldier’s face. He had the man by the collar and the Hydra soldier was in the middle of pulling out his pistol. Apparently your entrance had been so astounding they’d forgotten they were in the middle of fighting.

“Don’t just stand there, you idiot!” you chastised. You turned your attention to the Hydra soldiers, who were looking at you warily. “Was, werden wir den ganzen Tag hier stehen oder versuchen wir uns gegenseitig umzubringen, Sie Mutter-liebende Samenfressende Nazi-Bastarde?”

They roared in anger and began shooting barely a second after you’d finished talking, but you were already zooming out of their barrage, skirting their group easily.

Ten men, nine if you didn’t count the one Bucky was grappling with. You could do this.

You darted between trees easily, catching the first soldier by surprise. You clenched your first, activating the shock wiring in your gauntlets. Your fist connected with his arm, where he only had a thin shirt to protect him.

The effect was instant. As soon as the golden wiring touched him, he convulsed violently as electricity coursed through his veins, stopping his heart instantly. He dropped like a stone and his comrades immediately began firing on your position, but you were already speeding away.

You were fast. Too fast for them to keep up with. You easily outmaneuvered their group, dropping them one by one with your shock gloves. All you needed was the slightly brush and they were dead.

That being said, you were terrified. Blue energy blasts flew past you left and right, a few way too close for comfort.

They’d grouped up at this point in an attempt to leave you with no openings. It would have been a smart idea… if you hadn’t made grenades.

You reached under your coat as you skated through the forest, pulling out one of the small, silver balls, about the half the size of your fist.

These had been fun to make; small portable grenades that delivered giant electrical shocks instead of sending metal and shrapnel every which way. They could even be set to stun in case they wanted to capture people… but you didn’t see the need for hostages today.

You pressed the activation button on one and flicked it in the direction of their little defensive group. You had a moment to listen to their panicked cries before it went off, electrical currents frying them from the inside out.

Bucky had taken out his attacker quickly and dispatched another two men after, but you’d taken out the bulk of them.

“Not bad, eh-?” you turned to face Bucky, only to find yourself staring right down the barrel of a gun.

“Auf Wiedersehen, du Schlampe,” the man spat, cruel smile on his face.

Shit, you hadn’t kept count. You’d missed one.

His grin was quickly wiped off of his face as a bullet ripped through his temple and flew out the other side.

You turned to face Bucky, who had his pistol raised, chamber smoking, both surprised and so, so thankful. “Guess we’re even now, huh?” you asked, grin hidden beneath your mask.

He looked furious, though, and stomped towards you, holstering his pistol as he went. “What the hell is this?” he asked, gesturing to your suit.

You bristled at his tone, scowl taking the place of your excited grin from a moment before. “It’s me saving your life,” you said obstinately. Why the hell was he freaking out like this? You’d just saved his life! He should be thanking you! Or hugging you!

“This is was stupid of you! Have you even tested that suit out?” he asked, coming to a stop directly in front of you, eyes flashing angrily.

“I was going to, but-”

“There are rockets! In the heels! They could have exploded! You could have been killed!” He yelled, fury twisting his normally attractive features.

“I don’t need this shit, Barnes! I just saved your fucking life and you should be thanking me!” you said, shoving him open-handed away from you before you turned and raced off, leaving him a fuming mess behind you.

“(Y/N), I wasn’t done talking to- (Y/N)!” he yelled angrily, likely giving his position away to any straggling Hydra soldiers.

With a curse he turned away and took up his sniper position once again, dropping enemies with extreme prejudice.

On your way back to your lookout spot, you stumbled across an unarmed Hydra soldier, badly wounded but still able to walk.

You turned on your jets and raced up to him, changing your gloves to stun, and punched him in the gut, effectively tazing the poor bastard.

You turned your jetboots off and stood over him and placed your left foot firmly on his chest. His hands flew to it and he tried to throw it off, but was too weak.

“Hör auf zu kämpfen,” you spat. _Stop struggling_. He froze, surprised, and stared up at you with fear clear in his eyes. “Du wirst eine Nachricht an Arnim Zola für mich bringen,” you said darkly. _You will take a message to Zola for me.  
_

He nodded slowly, sensing he might just make it out this alive if he listened to you.

“Guter Junge. Sag ihm, ich komme zu ihm,” you said, wicked smile hidden by your mask. _Good boy. Tell him I’m coming for him.  
_

“Aber… wer bist du?” _But… who are you?_

You glared at him and he visibly blanched, tugging futilely at your boot.

“Er wird es wissen.“ _He will know._

The soldier looked confused but you’d said your peace. You turned your left boot jet on and he screamed in agony as it burned his hand, releasing you as quickly as his tired muscles allowed.

Satisfied, you turned and sped out of the clearing, still fuming from your interaction with Bucky.

You didn’t know it, but you’d earned a nickname that day that would end up following you for years to come. 

The Hydra soldier watched you race away, standing slowly and clutching his bloody hand to his chest, a single idea etched into his brain.

“Blitzkrieg.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of you get in a fight over your actions at the Greek Hydra base. Your and Bucky’s argument comes to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), Fluff
> 
> A/N: Alright guys I hope you guys have dental cause this chapter is sweet af.

[Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh](https://tmblr.co/Zj1kBx24ZneaD)

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Steve!” You yelled as you tugged your face mask off. “I’m not getting rid of my suit!”

Steve held his hands up placatingly. “(Y/N), please-”

“No, Steve! I won’t apologize! Hell, I’d do it again right now if I had to!” you said as you glared at the two men across the room from you.

The mission had been a success and the Greek Hydra base was officially wiped off the map. The second Bucky had met up with Steve, though, he’d told him about your suit. You were all back at home base now, packed into the living room (which the team had been using as the strategy room).

“I’m with the (Y/N) on this one. She saved your ass, Sarge,” Gabe said, looking between the three of you warily. Jacques and Jim nodded in agreement and Bucky glared at the three of them. Dum Dum and James looked a little dubious, however.

“That doesn’t change the fact she was reckless and could have easily gotten herself killed! The battlefield is no place for prototype experiments!” Bucky said angrily, glaring at everyone but Dum Dum, James and Steve, who, judging by their posture, agreed with Bucky’s sentiments.

“It was my first time using it in the field but that doesn’t mean it’s completely untested! And I have as much right to fight as you do! Do you think I can’t fight because I’m a woman? Because I’m not a soldier like you?” you said angrily, glowering at Steve and Bucky who visibly blanched.

“No, wait- that’s not-” Steve stuttered.

“I never said that,” Bucky said, looking hurt.

You were too angry to take pity on them, even if your words were a little unfair. “Well it sure as hell feels like you did! I can take care of myself!”

Bucky growled angrily and threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “Why are you being so stubborn?”

“Why the hell do you even care what I do?!” you yelled back, ignoring the way the guys’ gazes traveled between you and Bucky as though they were watching a tennis match.

“Because I like you!” he bellowed, frustration getting the better of the filter he usually had on his thoughts.

Everyone in the room froze. You stared blankly at Bucky, anger vanishing in an instant, only to be replaced by shock. The guys were glancing between you and Bucky, hardly daring to breathe. Steve and Dum Dum were the first ones to move, wordlessly shuffling the rest of the guys out of the room. You shifted awkwardly, posture quickly going from confrontational to nervous.

Bucky’s jaw worked as he studied you apprehensively. When you didn’t say anything (or even look at him), he resolved to speak. He gathered his confidence and took a deep breath, then took a step towards you.

“I didn’t mean for that to slip out like that… (Y/N)… You’re funny, intelligent, kind, determined, and just so, so amazing. I was gonna get you flowers to apologize for that thing in London and take Patriot into town today and find a nice place to take you out if you… if you felt the same way,” he said quietly, ducking his head down to try and catch your eye.

Your mind was working a thousand miles a minute, though, trying to process this sudden turn of events.

Bucky… liked you? Did… did he just say he was going to ask you out? With flowers? Wait, apologize for that thing in London? Did he mean-

“Why did you flirt with Peggy?” you asked suddenly, voice coming out weaker and more vulnerable than you’d intended.

His face screwed up in shame and he reached for your hand and cupped it gently between his own, thumb gently soothing the back of it. “I never meant for you to see that, Doll,” he said quickly.

His eyes widened with panic as your head dropped, tears threatening to spill over. It felt like you were being stabbed in the heart all over again. He didn’t even deny it. His only regret was that you’d seen it happening. Why you had believed a word he’d just said-

“Wait wait wait, no. It’s not like that. Please, let me explain,” he said as one of his hands gently lifted your chin up so that you were once again gazing into those endlessly beautiful blue eyes. “I was tryin’ to get a rise out of Steve. When we got back to the Allied camp I knew from the moment I saw the two of them together that the punk liked her. Steve’s not the best at talkin’ about his feelings- he has a tendency to bottle everything up- so I was hopin’ I could figure out how much they liked each other by… by flirtin’ with her,” he explained hastily, eyes searching yours worriedly. “If I had known you were there- No, that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have done it. I’ve been stuck on you since I first met you, Doll. I’ve been beatin’ myself up for weeks over what happened,” he said, eyes begging you to understand. “I about lost it when I saw you with Logan…”

You were such a mess of emotions that you didn’t know how to feel just then. “Why- why didn’t you just…. say so?” you asked, brows furrowed in confusion as you studied his face for any signs of deceit.

A melancholy smile graced his features. “I tried, Dollface. A few times. You were havin’ none of it,” he said sadly.

You opened your mouth and closed it again, thinking. That much was undeniably true. You’d barely talked to him until two days ago, only speaking to him when absolutely necessary. Any attempt he would have made to bring up what had happened in London would have been unceremoniously shut down by you.

He studied you warily and gave your hand a gentle squeeze, drawing your attention back to planet Earth. The usually suave Bucky Barnes was put off balance by your quietness and he rushed to fill the gap in conversation. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I’ve been a fat head about this whole thing an’ if I screwed up my chances with you, I completely deserve-“

You surprised the both of you by closing your eyes, standing on your toes, and placing a gentle kiss to his lips. You were pleasantly surprised by the fireworks the simple contact elicited. You pulled back and he looked shocked for about two seconds before he broke out in a wide, ecstatic grin which you couldn’t help but return. “Is that a yes?” he asked, blue eyes alight with happiness.

You let out a small huff of laughter and nodded. “Yes, I like you, too,” you said quietly. A small yelp of surprise left your lips as his arms went around you, one supporting your waist, the other planted firmly between your shoulder blades, and he dipped you backwards, sending you a mischievous wink before his lips were on yours, kissing you passionately. You melted into the kiss, hands grasping at his arms for purchase, one going up to bury itself in his short chocolate brown locks.

He broke away and stared down at you, pure happiness etched into his face, steel blue eyes dancing in the dim light of the room.

“If you creeps keep starin’ like that I’m going to skin the lot of ya,” he said, glancing away from you and up through his long lashes at the doorway just a few feet away. Your head whipped to the side, following his gaze, and you immediately felt heat rush to your cheeks in embarrassment at the sight.

There, half-obscured by the doorway, were the guys, all looking much too pleased at the sight before them. They all looked suspiciously like happy, proud mothers giving their child away for marriage.

“It was James’ idea,” Gabe said defensively, wide smile on his face not faltering for a second.

“It was Jacques’ idea!” James said, sounding offended.

“Non, c'était l'idée de Steve!” Jacques said, glaring at James.

“I’d say it was a group effort,” Dum Dum said amicably.

You and Bucky glanced at each other and broke out into laughter. “Out, you big lugs!” you said, making shooing motions in their directions with the hand not tangled in Bucky’s hair. They grinned sheepishly and one by one disappeared from the doorway, until only Steve was left. He smiled at the two of you, somehow looking almost more pleased than Bucky. You smiled at him. “Take a picture, Stevie. It’ll last longer,” you said playfully.

“Took the words right outta my mouth,” Dum Dum said, returning with a camera, shit-eating grin on his face.

“Wait, no- I didn’t actually mean-”

Bucky laughed at your sudden discomfort, pulling you upright and spinning you so you faced the camera before he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. A half second later he placed his chin gently on your head and squeezed you firmly to his chest. You tried to ignore how nice it felt to be up against him like that while you squirmed in an attempt to escape the imminent picture taking.

“Humor me, (Y/N). Please,” he whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. Steve and Dum Dum were smiling happily at the two of you, prepping the camera. It was the one you’d gotten Steve for his birthday during your time on the road together. You were surprised he’d brought it to Greece with him, but you shouldn’t have been. Steve loved that damn thing.

You let out a deep, defeated sigh. “Alright, Barnes. But only because you asked so nicely,” you said as you lifted one of your hands and twined your fingers together with his.

“Thanks, Doll,” he said sweetly, placing a tender kiss to the crown of your head.

You tried to not look too pleased with yourself but apparently failed, because Steve nodded his approval. “Perfect, just like that,” he said, brilliant smile peeking out below the camera.

Bucky gave you a gentle squeeze and you couldn’t help but smile broadly.

There was a blinding flash and, just like that, the moment was immortalized forever (well, it would be once the picture was developed).

Steve and Dum Dum finally left you and Bucky alone (only after giving you both one final knowing smile) and you turned to look at Bucky.

The look on your face made the jubilant smile slip straight off his face. Your jaw was set stubbornly and you had a deep scowl on.

“Doll…?” he asked slowly, nervous half-smile on his lips.

“I may like you but we’re still not done talking about what happened earlier,” you said testily.

Bucky, however, broke out in a blinding smile again at your words. “Say it again.”

“I like you, but-”

The rest of your sentence was silenced by his lips finding yours and it took every ounce of your willpower to not just melt into the tender kiss.

“James Buchanan Barnes! I am still angry with you,” you said, wrenching yourself away from him to glare at him. He looked like a child who’d been told he wasn’t allowed to have dessert… or maybe a puppy that had been yelled at for getting too excited and jumping on someone. You crossed your arms and stood your ground, but a large part of you wanted to cave and just happily spend a carefree day with him.

He let out a long sigh and looked at you guiltily. “I know you can handle yourself, Doll. I already thought you could but you definitely proved it today. You saved me, no two ways about it. But I… I don’t wanna lose you, sweetheart,” he said, cupping your cheek in his hand. You couldn’t help but lean into the touch, enjoying the way his rough thumb ran gently over your skin. “Just the thought of one of those bastards hurting you-” he broke off, deep frown marring his beautiful features.

A melancholy smile took its place on your lips and you reached out for his free hand and wove your fingers together with his. “I get that, Bucky. Believe me, I get it. When I saw those soldiers zeroing in on your position, I didn’t think, I just acted. You can’t ask me to stop trying to protect you. All of you. I won’t. Just like I don’t expect you to stop trying to protect all of us,” you said, squeezing his hand, pleading with your eyes for him to understand.

He let out a year’s worth of sighs, pulled you to his chest, and buried his face in your hair. “Fine, fine. You win. I get it, but that doesn’t mean I hafta like it,” he said, playfully.

You smiled at that and squeezed him back just as tightly. “As long as we agree.”

“Yeah, yeah…” he pulled back enough to be able to stare down at you, hopeful smile on his lips. “So, about that date…”

You grinned playfully up at him. “Actually, I had an idea about that.”

* * *

“You know, when I said ‘date’ I was thinking maybe we could get dinner at a nice Greek place. Maybe go dancing…” Bucky said warily.

You finished wrapping your hands and tried to pull your boxing gloves on, only to fail miserably and look to Bucky for help. He snorted, smiled, and walked over; he helped you slide the gloves on with a practiced ease that made you envious. “Well, I thought you might be happier with me being out in the field if you helped train me yourself. I know you taught Steve how to box back in New York; he talked about it all the time. I thought you could do the same for me,” you said, smiling up at him.

“Yeah, you explained that to me already,” he said playfully, pulling his own gloves on. “But I’m wondering why we couldn’t do this part tomorrow and go on a nice relaxing date today,” he said, piercing blue eyes fixing you with an accusatory stare.

“Because we’re traveling tomorrow, dummy. Now, we doing this or not?” you asked, taking a sip from your glass of water.

He rolled his eyes but nodded, rolling his impressive, muscular shoulders. You tried hard not to stare, but failed. “See something you like, Doll?” he asked playfully, sending you a lascivious wink.

“Well, yeah,” you deadpanned, smirking at Bucky. He grinned at that, and (unconsciously or not) puffed his chest out proudly.

“Alright, show me what you got,” he said cockily, dropping into a casual defensive stance, arms raised lazily.

You smirked evilly and the cocky grin faded from Bucky’s face immediately as you closed the gap between the two of you. moving with a practiced ease Bucky hadn’t been expecting, determinedly glaring him down.

See, you knew something Bucky didn’t. Peggy had been training you for years and you’d even sparred with Steve on occasion (though it was more of you using Steve as a punching bag while he tried to dodge your hits, which he was fine with- apparently it was good agility training).

* * *

A half hour later the two of you were covered in sweat, but you were definitely worse off than Bucky. He looked like he’d taken a casual jog whereas you looked like you’d just been a part of a triathlon.

After he’d gotten over the initial shock of you actually knowing how to fight, he quickly turned the tables, deftly dodging and blocking your hits. He gave you helpful pointers and paused your sparring session frequently to instruct you.

“Come on, Doll. One last hit, then we can call it quits for today,” he said encouragingly, winking at you. “If you can get to me, that is,” he said smugly.

“Oh fuck off, Barnes,” you panted, steely resolve renewing your energy. You’d wipe that smug smile off of his face if it was the last thing you’d do.

He only grinned wider at your words, doing the classic _‘bring it on_ ‘ motion with his gloved hand.

You growled your frustration and practically threw yourself at him, only getting more annoyed when he laughed playfully and gracefully avoided your exhausted punches.

After a few minutes it was clear you weren’t going to hit him any time soon. You stood there, attempting to catch your breath, and he smiled fondly at you. “You did great, Doll, but let’s call it there,” he said as he walked over to you, removing his gloves as he went (you stared with rapt attention as he undid the first one with his teeth).

When he was within arms reach you slowly reached out and placed your gloved fist gently but firmly to the center of his chest.

“Gotcha,” you panted, grinning up at him through your lashes.

He laughed heartily at that and took your hand from his chest, quickly removing the boxing gloves from your hands. “Yeah, you got me. Now, go get cleaned up. You have to teach me how to calibrate the barrel of my rifle,” he said as he gently brushed a piece of hair that had escaped your ponytail from your face.

You groaned, shoulders sagging tiredly. “First of all, it’s _our_ rifle. I refuse to let you take complete custody of it. That thing is my baby, too. Second, can we please do that tomorrow? I’m beat,” you said, tugging on your shirt repeatedly in an attempt to let cooler air grace your heated skin under the fabric.

He laughed and threw the gloves on the nearby chair (you’d definitely stubbed your toe and backed into the damn thing at least twice during your boxing lesson). 

Your brain ground to a halt as he pulled his shirt off and sent you a smug smile. “Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’ playfully. He used his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face and you couldn’t help but stare at the muscular planes of his chest. You knew he’d recovered quickly from the Hydra base, but _damn_. He bit his lip seductively as he watched you stare at him, knowing full well what he was doing. Bastard.

“See you in your room in twenty,” he said innocently, winking at you before he walked out of the room, flicking his shirt under his arm.

[Originally posted by fandoms-broke-my-life](https://tmblr.co/ZoBzdn2G1aG-6)

Your brain didn’t start working again until he was out of sight.

“Hey, wait! No! Bucky!” you yelled after him.

His amused laughter was the only response you got and you groaned, legs too tired to chase after him.

“Son of a-” you groaned. When it was clear he wasn’t coming back, you worked your way to your room, wincing at each step you took up the stairs. You grabbed a change of clothes, determined to take as long a bath as you wanted, Bucky’s schedule be damned.

You started filling the bath and laughed when you spotted the record player in the corner. You’d heard Steve and James talking about how Jacques had moved it into the bathroom, but you hadn’t actually seen it there yet.

A Benny Goodman record was in the tray and you turned the player on and dropped the needle, smiling happily as the sound of Benny and his band filled the bathroom.

As soon as the bathtub was filled you slid in, sighing with relief as your tired muscles relaxed in the water. You daydreamed about schematics as you bathed, taking your time getting clean. Eventually, though, you submerged yourself until only the top of your face was still out of the water, and stared absently at the ceiling. The music sounded distorted through the water, but you were still able to make it out.

What you didn’t hear, however, was Bucky knocking at the door.

“Doll? You alright? We were supposed to meet in your room ten minutes ago,” he said, worry seeping into his tone.

When the only response was music from the record player he knocked louder, his anxiety only growing.

“You can take your time if you want, Doll. I just want to make sure you’re alright,” he said worriedly.

Still, no response. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked. He cursed under his breath.

He banged his fist on the door, panic rising in his chest. You didn’t drown, did you? Electrocute yourself with one of your crazy inventions?

“Doll, I’m sorry I rushed you! Please, just answer me!” he said frantically.

When he still didn’t get a response, panic took over and he took a step back, taking a deep breath before he kicked the door right next to the lock with all his might.

It was so old it swung open immediately, banging hard against the wall, frame splintered. The shock was enough to cause the record player’s needle to skip off the track, plunging the house into sudden silence.

“What the hell-” you yelled, sitting up out of the bathtub in alarm at his sudden entrance.

Bucky’s gaze snapped immediately to you and yours snapped to him. You both froze, shocked, neither able to speak.

Then, you remembered you were as naked as the day you were born.

“Get out, Bucky! Now!” you yelled as you sank down in the tub, hands flying to cover your chest.

He seemed trapped by his shock, unable to process what was happening. “I’m sorry, you weren’t answerin’ and I thought that maybe you-”

“OUT!” you screeched, pointing to the door with one hand, sending soapy water flying everywhere.

“Right, got it. Out,” he said as he hastily made his exit, trying his best to close the now destroyed door.

You stared at its peeling surface despondently as he tried again and again to close it, failing each time. Every attempt ended in it opening slightly, as the door frame was half destroyed and incapable of staying closed.

“I’ll just… hold this,” Bucky said awkwardly from the other side of the door.

You both sunk into an awkward silence for a moment before you found the courage to speak.

“Did- Did you see…?” you asked hesitantly.

The was a pause before he answered. “Yes.”

You sunk into the water until only the top of your head remained above the surface and you blew bubbles into the water, heat creeping up your neck and into your cheeks.

Another pause, then, “I’m sorry. You weren’t answerin’ and you’d been in there a while and I was worried you mighta fallen asleep in the tub on account of how tired you were and-”

You resurfaced and quickly stemmed the torrent of apologies. “It’s alright, Bucky. I know you’re not the kinda lech who would break down a door just to get a peek at a lady’s chest,” you said reassuringly. “Let me just… get out and get dried off and then we’ll go up to my room and work on the rifle, alright?” you asked, hoping you and him could move past this awkwardness as quickly as possible.

When he spoke again, you could tell he was smiling. “Alright, Doll… and thank you.”

“For what?” you asked curiously as you got out of the tub and began drying off.

“For bein’ you, of course,” he said happily.

You rolled your eyes, but smiled widely. “You goin’ soft on me, Sarge?” you asked playfully.

“I’m actually havin’ the exact opposite problem right now, sweetheart,” he said coyly.

You nearly fell over when your mind caught up with the implications of what he’d just said. “Bucky!” you yelled chastisingly.

His merry laugh filled the hallway and, a moment later, you joined him, your laughter bouncing off the tiled walls.

“I take it back, you are a lech,” you said between giggles as you wiped tears of laughter from your eyes.

Bucky’s laughs cut off abruptly and when he spoke he sounded completely indignant. “Hey!”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your time at the Austrian Hydra base comes back to haunt you. Bucky finds you and you bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), Torture, Mentions of Torture
> 
> A/N: Yet another tooth-rotting chapter. Enjoy it while you can, bois.

[Originally posted by buckysqueenbitch](https://tmblr.co/Z65kJe2JsWTdn)

Everything hurt. You were in agony.

“Come now, fraulein. Struggling will get you nowhere.“

You tried to look at the source of the voice, but your body wouldn’t listen. It was like you were swimming in maple syrup. You knew what you’d see if you could move, though; You knew that voice nearly as well as your own. Arnim Zola was standing beside you and, judging from how badly your entire body hurt, so was your nameless torturer.

“Tell me how to make more super soldiers, or I will kill your precious boys.”

You fought against the restraints holding you down, crying out in agony as they bit into your skin. It didn’t feel like leather or rope. Everywhere they touched felt like white hot metal.

“No. No no no no.” Not the boys. Not Steve. Not Bucky.

“Yes, fraulein.”

To your horror, a white-hot piece of metal appeared in your line of vision… and it was getting closer by the second. It inched closer and closer to your face until you could feel the heat on your cheeks; sweat beaded on your forehead and dripped into your eyes. 

In just a second, it would touch your eye; you’d lose it immediately and the pain would be excruciating.

“Please, god, no! Dum Dum! Steve! Bucky!-”

You shot up from your bed with a strangled cry, tangled in your now-sweaty bed sheets. Your chest heaved as your hands roamed your body, checking for any of the damage the man in the dream had inflicted. Finding nothing, you finally relaxed a hair, breath coming slower now.

You shoved your blankets and sheets off, their presence causing a sensory overload on your poor, abused mind. You welcomed the chill of the night’s air; it was the exact opposite of the hot metal’s touch.

You were all still in Greece, taking the time to plan here before you made a move on your next target. It seemed the lot of you had taken a liking to the tiny house; it almost felt like home at this point; they might not admit it, but you knew they’d be sad when you all had to leave.

You tiptoed carefully downstairs, not wanting to wake anyone. It seemed like you’d been successful. You made it all the way to the kitchen and the house was still completely silent. You poured yourself a glass of water as quietly as possible and took a seat at the kitchen table, sipping on it absently as your mind wandered. You pulled your knees up to your chest and stared absently out the window.

You didn’t want to go back to sleep again, for fear the nightmares would start back up. They’d been plaguing you since you made it out of the Hydra facility three weeks ago. A quick glance at the grandfather clock in the corner told you it was almost 4:00 am. You could make it through the day without going back to sleep… right?

“What are you doin’ up, Doll?”

You swiveled on the chair, nearly losing your balance in the process, and looked up at Bucky, who was standing in the doorway, looking at you with concern. He had a blanket draped over his head and shoulders; he looked almost like a little kid who’d woken up in the middle of the night… except he was a tall, muscular 26 year old man. You didn’t miss the dark circles under his eyes.

“Bucky, jeeze. You scared me,” you whispered, willing your heart to return to a normal pace.

A small smile graced his features as he made his way over to you, blanket dragging just a bit behind him. “Sorry, Doll. Didn’t mean to,” he whispered contritely. He came to a stop in front of you and crouched down, taking your hands in his. When he realized you were shivering, he looked you up and down in concern. “You’re freezin’, (Y/N). Why are you sittin’ out here in just your thin cotton pajamas?” He made a move to take the blanket off from around his shoulders and give it to you, but you stopped him.

“I… had a nightmare… about…” your face twisted grimly and you stared right past Bucky as the horrors Zola had inflicted on you resurfaced.

“About… Austria? The base?” Bucky supplied helpfully, tone quiet and understanding.

You nodded, tremor running through your body at the name, and curled back in on yourself, drawing your knees back into your chest.

Bucky’s face twisted painfully as he beheld you, sitting there shivering pathetically. “Can I touch you, sweetheart?” he asked quietly, kneeling down in front of you.

You studied him for a moment, thinking hard. The thought of being touched made your skin crawl, but it was Bucky… it might be alright if it was him.

“Yeah, alright,” you said finally, giving him a tiny nod.

He moved slowly, immediately setting you a bit more at ease. His hands started at yours; he placed them over them gently and you nearly sighed with relief at the warmth the simple touch gave you. Had you really gotten _that_ cold without realizing it? He worked his way up your arms slowly, palms leaving heat in their wake. Before you knew it, he was cupping either cheek in his hands, his face inches from yours. You had nowhere to look but into his steel blue eyes and, before you knew it, you’d relaxed almost completely, leaning unconsciously into his touch.

To your shock, you began crying. It was a vulnerable, child-like thing that you couldn’t have stopped if you’d tried. You fell into Bucky’s lap, throwing your arms around his shoulders and holding onto him as though he was a life preserver and you were drowning in the ocean.

Bucky caught you easily and pulled you to his chest. One of his huge hands soothed your hair as he murmured comforting things in your ear.

“It’s alright, (Y/N). I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay. You’re okay,” he muttered over and over again while you cried into his chest. It was only once something dripped onto your nose that you realized how uneven his breathing was. You glanced up and, through your soaked lashes and watery eyes, were able to see that Bucky was, indeed, crying along with you. When he noticed you looking he sniffed and glanced away, trying to put on a brave face, but it was too late. You’d seen it all.

“Oh, baby…” you whispered, heart breaking at the sight. A fresh wave of tears rolled down your face. You knew he’d been through a lot, but he’d never said anything so you assumed he’d been coping well, but it seemed that wasn’t completely the case.

He glanced back at you, bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he chewed on it nervously. You reached up slowly and wiped the tears from his face, giving him a small smile. “What a pair we make, huh?” you asked quietly.

He cracked a smile at that and leaned down to place a tender kiss to your forehead. “Wouldn’t trade you for the world, Dollface,” he murmured against your skin as he rubbed comforting circles into your back with his hand.

You smiled at that and gave him a gentle squeeze as your thumbs rubbed gentle circles into his skin. “Like I’d let you,” you joked lightly. He laughed at that and the noise made your heart feel unspeakably lighter and you even found yourself giggling quietly along with him. You both quieted again a few seconds later, simply enjoying the comfort of each other’s company. After a moment, though, you spoke up. “I wouldn’t trade you for anything, either,” you mumbled. His hands froze on your back and when he didn’t start moving again you tilted your head up so you could look at his face.

Your heart stuttered at the sight in front of you. There was a gentle smile on his face that you’d never seen before and his eyes shone with such pure adoration that you nearly started crying again. He reached up and cupped your cheek and brushed his rough thumb lightly over your skin. “Come sleep with me,” he said quietly.

A small part of you wanted to say no. You’d only been with Bucky for a day and, although it felt like you’d been together much longer, you weren’t the kind of woman to have sex with a man that early in the relationship. Hell, you hadn’t even had a real date together yet.

But with the way he was looking at you and how you felt just then, you would have jumped off a cliff if he’d asked you.

He must have correctly interpreted your silence because he spoke up again quickly. “I don’t mean anything but sleeping, Doll. I just… thought it might be better than sleeping alone with the nightmares,” he amended quickly, but you were already nodding your head in agreement halfway through his sentence. He smiled broadly and, in a show of strength and dexterity, picked you up and stood as though you weighed nothing. 

“Your room alright?” he asked quietly, glancing down at you with that unbridled adoration in his eyes.

“Considering my other option is listening to Dugan snore all night, yeah,” you said, smirking. He let out a single huff of laughter and began making his way towards your room, blanket floating behind him like a cape.

You were in your loft a moment later. Like Steve, Bucky had to duck a bit to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling. He placed you gently onto the bed and you wormed your way underneath the blankets. He crawled into the bed and under the blankets a moment later and sidled up next to you. His arms went around you and you turned to face him, burying your face in his chest. You inhaled deeply, allowing his scent to set you at ease.

He placed a light kiss to your forehead. “Get some sleep, (Y/N),” he murmured, voice already thick with sleep. Apparently you had the same effect on him that he had on you.

“G’night, Buck,” you murmured, eyes already heavy with sleep.

“G’night, Doll,” he answered, breath tickling your hair.

You fell almost immediately into a blissfully dreamless sleep, Bucky’s comforting weight next to and around you.

* * *

“ _You_ wake ‘em up.” _Jim._

“I’m not going in there. What if they’re naked?” _James._

“I ain’t doin’ it.” _Dum Dum._

“Don’t look at me.” _Gabe._

“Je refuse.” _Jacques._

“… Rock paper scissors?” _Steve._

You blinked slowly as you woke, the hushed conversations rousing you rather effectively. You realized there was a weight keeping you from moving too much and you glanced up, eyes immediately finding a pair of equally sleepy-looking steel blue ones gazing back at you. You couldn’t help the dopey smile that took its place on your face as you beheld Bucky in all his disheveled early-morning glory.

“Morning,” you murmured, leaning forward to shove your face into his chest, nuzzling it gently.

[Originally posted by lovelynemesis](https://tmblr.co/ZVOuzi2P7uwYB)

You felt the low, rumbling chuckle that left his lips at your actions. “Mornin’,” he whispered, placing a light kiss to your forehead.

“You want to put them out of their misery, or should I?” you asked, peering up at him blearily through one eye.

He smirked and gave you a gentle squeeze before he spoke up, loud enough for the guys to hear. “We’re awake, you fat heads. Your yappin’ was so loud I’m surprised you didn’t wake the whole neighborhood.”

There was a torrent of apologies mixed with indignant comments. Then, Steve spoke up, “You two decent?”

“Yeah, Stevie,” you grumbled, snuggling even closer into Bucky’s chest, making him chuckle. You didn’t want to get up, much less talk to _other people_ , even if it was Steve and the guys.

There was a sigh of relief and the sound of Steve walking up the stairs. You couldn’t see anything except Bucky’s chest but when Steve spoke again it was obvious he was in your room. “Hey, Jerk.”

“Punk,” Bucky responded instantly, fondness in their tones betraying their words. He poked his head out of the blankets to stare at Steve.

“You made us worry when we woke up and you were nowhere to be found,” Steve said chastisingly.

“Well I had a choice between sleeping next to a bunch of smelly men or a pretty dame, so-” you kicked him in the shin (not enough to hurt) “- _ow_. Yeah, yeah. I should have left a note or something. Figured you guys would put two and two together, though,” Bucky said, sounding just contrite enough to satisfy Steve.

Steve let out a long sigh. “We leave for Czechoslovakia in a few hours. Will you two be ready to go by then?” he asked tiredly.

You stuck your hand out of the blankets and gave Steve a thumbs up. Bucky grinned widely at that and nodded to your hand and then to Steve. “You heard the lady. We’ll be ready,” he said with a wink.

Realizing that was the best he was going to get out of the two of you just then, he turned and left, grumbling discontentedly as he walked down the stairs. Once Bucky was fairly sure he was out of earshot, he laid back down and kissed you deeply, making you smile and kiss him back, your arms snaking around his waist. It was a slow, lazy kiss, but made your heart soar anyway. You broke apart after a minute and he placed a light kiss to the tip of your nose.

“You _will_ be ready to go in a few hours, right?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “I know you have a lot of stuff.”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “Packed yesterday after we were done working on your rifle,” you said quietly.

He grinned slyly and your heartbeat picked up involuntarily at the sight. “Well that means we have a few hours to kill… You got any ideas?” he asked, hand trailing down your waist until it was on your hip. He pulled you to him and you felt your cheeks heat as you stared up at him, wide-eyed.

“I, uh- Well- Maybe we- Uhm.”

Bucky laughed as he released your hip and placed a chaste kiss to your lips. “I was joking, sweetheart. We don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. Don’t want you to feel any pressure,” he said easily. “But any ideas _would_ be welcome,” he said with a wink.

You relaxed and brought your hand up to card your fingers gently through his hair. He closed his eyes at the touch and relaxed; you were sure that if he was a cat he’d be purring. “How about that date you promised me yesterday?” you asked quietly.

He opened his eyes and graced you with a blinding smile. “I think that’s a great idea, Doll. I haven’t had time to look in town, though…”

“How about some coffee and a light breakfast? We don’t have a ton of time,” you said, scratching his head gently as your fingers ran through his hair.

He let out a small noise of content and nodded his agreement with your plan. “But you know, that means you’ll have to get up.” You pouted at that, fingers stilling in his hair. He smiled at you, eyes twinkling with a mischief that had you suddenly a bit concerned. “Now, Doll, if you don’t get up of your own free will I may be forced to take… _drastic measures_ ,” he said dramatically.

You set your jaw and glared him down, calling his bluff. He wouldn’t dare-

Oh, but he _did_ dare. His fingers shot to your sides before you could stop them and began wiggling. You immediately burst into laughter at the tickling and no matter how you clawed at his wrists and hands, they wouldn’t budge. You tried to fight back, reaching for his sides, but he batted your hands away easily with his elbows, face alight with mirth as he tortured you with tickles.

“Give up yet, Doll?” he asked as he smiled, biting his lip playfully.

“Ne-Never!” you managed to choke out between gasping breaths and loud laughs.

He didn’t relent, though. He took it one step further and buried his face in your neck, his unshaved scruff tickling your sensitive skin there, too. 

You couldn’t take it anymore; you could barely breathe. “Uncle, uncle! I give!” you breathed. His hands stilled immediately and he placed a tender kiss to your neck as you gasped for air.

When you finally got your breath back you turned to level a glare at him… the effect was somewhat hampered by the smile on your lips. He smiled innocently at you, shrugging helplessly.

“You’re going to pay for that. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But I will get my revenge,” you said dangerously.

He only winked playfully at you though and placed a kiss to your cheek. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he said coyly. He hopped out of the bed a moment later before you could do anything.

“James!” you yelled mock angrily as you chased after him, vaulting off of the bed. He turned just in time to catch you, arms wrapping securely around your waist. Your arms went around his neck and your legs wrapped around his waist.

He grinned widely at you. “Ooh, pullin’ out the first name. I _am_ in trouble,” he said cheerfully.

You rolled your eyes and pecked him lightly on the lips. “I’m going to shower then get ready. We can leave in… forty minutes?” you asked doing the math in your head. You could be ready in forty minutes… probably.

He nodded along, wide grin lighting his entire face up. “Sounds good, Doll,” he murmured. You smiled and disentangled yourself from him, dropping to your feet gracefully. You turned away to gather your things, but he stopped you; he grabbed your hand and pulled you firmly back to his chest. You opened your mouth to ask him what he was thinking, but your protests were silenced by his lips on yours. The kiss was passionate and heated and filled with everything he felt for you, and you for him. The closest word you could come up with for it was “perfect”.

You broke apart after a moment, both wearing matching, ridiculously happy smiles.

“Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that,” he said quietly, gazing happily at you. He seemed to sober a bit after a second. “But we have places to be, Dollface. You better go get ready,” he said, spinning you so you were facing your suitcase. He placed a light kiss to the crown of your head then gave you a gentle push. “Meet you in the living room in forty.”

You turned to look at him, nodding dazedly. You watched him leave, only snapping out of the Bucky-induced haze once he was out of sight.

As you were gathering up your things, it finally hit you. You were going on a date with Bucky. You were his best girl.

You practically skipped to the bathroom, ignoring the knowing looks the guys gave you as you made your way through the house.

Right before you closed the door, you heard Jim say something to Dum Dum.

“They’re going to be insufferable from now on, aren’t they?” Jim asked, harsh words belied by his kind, amused tone.

“Oh yeah,” Dum Dum said with a hearty laugh. “Big time.”

* * *

Forty minutes later you were waiting nervously at the door, clean and fully bundled up to face the chilly forty-three degree morning air. Bucky appeared a moment later, looking as cozy as ever in his dark blue pea coat. He forewent the normal munitions, though; today he wore a scarf and you could see the telltale bulge of a wallet in his front pants pocket (at least, you assumed it was a wallet. You didn’t let your gaze dwell long enough to discern whether or not it really was).

“Ready to go, Doll?” he asked, taking your hand in his as you made your ways towards the door.

You opened your mouth, but your stomach chose just then to growl, effectively answering his question for you. You looked guiltily up at him and he laughed, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“One breakfast date, comin’ right up,” he said with a wink as he opened the front door.

* * *

The two of you made your way to a little cafe just a few blocks away. It was one of the few places left open in the area due to the war, but its food was delicious, so you weren’t complaining. You sat in a booth by the window, chatting easily and people-watching, coming up with increasingly ridiculous made up life stories for passersby. Time passed by quickly; you drank coffee, ate your food, and talked. Then talked some more. It was only once Bucky glanced at his watch and did a double take that you realized how much time must have passed.

“Geeze, Doll. We better go. I’m surprised Steve hasn’t sent out a search party for us yet,” Bucky said, hastily throwing on his scarf as he scooted out of the booth. He made his way to your side of the table and offered you a hand. You took it thankfully, smiling warmly at him as you tugged your coat on.

“Thanks, Bucky.”

“My pleasure, Doll.”

* * *

You made it back to the house in record time, only after buying an entire pie as a peace offering to the guys. Steve opened his mouth to chew you out the moment you stepped in the door, but one sniff of the pie in the box in your hands and he shut right up.

Not a half hour later you and the guys were on your way to the airstrip; you were on Moxie with Bucky (you’d let him drive- he was thrilled), Steve was on Patriot, and the guys were in the trucks.

The moment everything was loaded you took your seat in the cockpit. Bucky took the seat next to you; you’d agreed to teach him how to fly and he was to be your copilot while he learned (Steve had been insistent about that. He probably hoped it would temper your impulses). Just like that, you were all on your way to Czechoslovakia.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Thanksgiving day and you may be halfway across the world but you want to celebrate it. You try to surprise the guys, but they end up surprising you, instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always)
> 
> A/N: Another sweet chapter. We have a few more, at least :) I think we only have a few more chapters to go, though!

[Originally posted by tana-the-dreamchaser](https://tmblr.co/Zu-Xln2PcS7Qd)

**November 25th, 1943 - A small town in Czechoslovakia**

The timer on the stove top went off and you cursed, hastily placing the dish of uncooked vegetables onto the kitchen counter.

“Oh boy…” you muttered as you opened the oven door. The smell of butter-lathered bird hit your nose and you let out a small noise of contended pride. You’d never cooked for Thanksgiving before, but you finally had something resembling a family and a plethora of things to be thankful for, so there you were, cooking a veritable feast by yourself in the small kitchen of a house in Czechoslovakia.

Finding a large turkey had been the most challenging part. You ended up tracking down a man a few miles away who raised them for food. It had been enormously expensive, but you counted it as worth it.

You shoved the baster into the pool of butter at the bottom of the dish and coated the whole bird in the rich stuff, marveling at how well everything was coming along.

Then, the next timer went off. Your head spun to glance at the automatic mixer that was prepping dough for the rolls and let out a yelp; you’d left it too long and it was rising nearly out of the bowl.

As quickly and carefully as you could manage you shoved the Turkey back into the oven and slammed the door, yanking off the oven mitts as you ran to the mixing bowl. You turned it off and pulled the top of it up, shoving dough haphazardly back into the bowl in an attempt to save it from the worst fate of all: the floor.

You’d finally gotten all of the dough back into the bowl when a voice from the doorway interrupted the silence of your work space.

“What _are_ you doing?”

[Originally posted by its-buckyy](https://tmblr.co/ZgTlJl2OF_tsi)

You spun to face Bucky and Steve, who were looking at you with something akin to grim amusement. When Bucky got a look at your face, though, he had to bite back a laugh. Steve looked similarly conflicted, but one look around the kitchen made him frown.

“You’re not supposed to be back yet!” you said, glancing at the clock on the wall. No, you still had time. They _were_ just back early.

“Yeah, well our reconnaissance mission went well, so… we’re back early,” Bucky said, crossing the room to take you into his arms.

“But… but this was supposed to be a surprise…” you said, eyes downcast.

Bucky laughed and reached up, rubbing some flour you hadn’t noticed from your cheek. “Well mark me down for plenty surprised, Doll,” he said with a smile.

You pouted, unable to look him in the eyes. “It’s not the same… You were all supposed to come back to the table set, the dishes all done cooking…”

“You weren’t going to even let me carve the turkey?” Bucky asked playfully, bending down so he could look you in the eyes.

“I- I didn’t think-” you sputtered, alarmed at how you could have overlooked such an important part of Thanksgiving. In your defense, you hadn’t had one in years; the only person you considered family was British and, as such, didn’t celebrate it. You and Steve had been too busy on the road to celebrate it, never staying in one place long enough to actually sit down and plan a huge meal like that. And, after all, it would only be the two of you; everyone else went home for the holiday.

Bucky seemed to realize he’d struck a nerve because he cupped your cheek in his hand and placed a tender kiss to your lips. It snapped you out of your darker thoughts and you kissed him back just as softly.

“No harm no foul, sweetheart. I was just joking,” he said kindly, smiling down at you warmly.

You smiled and nodded, your nerves set at ease at his words.

“Do you think maybe me and Stevie can help you out, though?” he asked hopefully.

You stood on your toes and glanced over his shoulder at Steve, who was eyeing the pots on the stove with varying amounts of concern. You glanced at Bucky and nodded after a moment. You’d really wanted to get this all done by yourself, but, if you were being honest, you really could use the help.

“Do you even know how to cook?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He scoffed at that. “Give us a minute to get changed and washed up, and I’ll just show you whether or not I can cook, Doll,” he said with a wink. “C’mon, Stevie. We’ve got work to do,” he said, throwing his arm over the blond man’s shoulder.

Steve sputtered his confusion, having missed your conversation a moment before while he was studying your dastardly creations on the stove top. You rolled your eyes at the two of them as they disappeared in the doorway, turning your attention back to the bowl of dough…

Which had risen again and was in the process of dripping slowly onto the counter and floor.

“Shit!”

* * *

As it turned out, Bucky and Steve _did_ know how to cook. Pretty well, too, if you were being honest. You chalked it up to him and Steve living as single bachelors together for so long; you could only live on takeout for so long, especially when you had as little money as they had back then.

An hour later you were pulling the last of the side dishes out of the oven. The table in the living room was already set and the huge turkey was covered in foil to keep it warm until the other dishes were ready.

The rest of the guys had arrived just a little while ago and took to setting the table, placing everything carefully as it exited the kitchen.

James and Jacques had protested a bit about the whole ordeal, but one whiff of the turkey and the pie you’d baked had them backtracking, now eagerly awaiting the Thanksgiving day meal.

Finally, you pulled out the last side- the rolls you’d struggled with so much earlier- and placed them on a plate with a cloth draped over it to keep their heat in.

“Is that all of it?” Dum Dum asked as you passed. He made a move to grab a roll from the basket but you deftly dodged it and placed the basket safely onto the table.

“Yes, yes it is,” you said proudly, eyeing the smorgasbord laid out in front of you.

Bucky came up behind you and placed a hand on your hip. “Looks delicious, sweetheart,” he said softly, placing a kiss to your temple.

“You and Stevie did at least half the work!” you said, tilting your head to look up at him, smile on your lips, adoration in your eyes.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You’re all fantastic. Now, can we please eat?” he asked as he took a seat at the crowded table. The poor thing was nearly buckling under the weight of all the dishes and it creaked ominously whenever you moved dishes around.

James went to reach for the vegetables, but Dum Dum batted his hand away. “Not yet, ya idgit. We have to say what we’re all thankful for, first,” he explained.

“I suppose that’s why it’s called Thanksgiving, eh?” James said, rubbing his hand indignantly.

“Do you wanna start, Stevie?” you asked, glancing at him on your immediate right.

Steve nodded and seemed to think for a minute before he spoke up. “I’m thankful for a chance to serve my country, with people I can trust at my back,” he said, smiling at all of you.

There were a few sincere smiles along with a few teasing ones.

Jim was up next. “I’m thankful to be out of that damned hellhole, and for a chance to get back at the bastards that put me there.”

There were nods of assent around the table. You were sure they would have toasted to that one if they’d had drinks.

Dum Dum cleared his throat, his mustache twitching behind his hand. “I’m thankful to be surrounded by the biggest bunch of idiots in the whole Allied army,” he said with a toothy grin that had the rest of you grinning, too, even as Gabe reached over and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

You all turned to Gabe, who was still smiling at Dum Dum’s answer. When he realized you were all staring at him expectantly, he sat up a little straighter. “Right, uh. I guess I’m thankful for the simple fact that I’m alive and I’m getting to see the world, even if it is a mess right now.”

There were nods of agreement around the table and Jacques and Dum Dum gave him bracing pats on the back.

Jacques leaned over and whispered something to Gabe, who whispered something back with a nod.

“For my friends and family,” Jacques said, accent heavily coloring his words, to which everyone nodded, smiling along. “Et pour les explosifs. Et en utilisant l'exploration sur Hydra,” he added darkly. _And for explosives. And using explosives on Hydra._

The guys knew enough french by now to understand the gist of the second half of Jacques’ sentiments and they all guffawed.

“D’accord, mon ami,” you said with a wink, which he returned playfully with a chuckle.

You all turned your attention to James, who shrugged helplessly. “For my health, friends, and family, I suppose.”

“Geeze, James. If you said that with any more emotion I think we’d all be a sobbing mess,” you said sarcastically.

He didn’t dignify it with a response, though (although he did subtly flip you the bird, which made you laugh), and you all turned your attention to Bucky.

“For my freedom, health, and the people in my life,” he said, giving all of you a smile (though his gaze lingered on Steve and you a bit longer than the rest).

You beamed back at him and it was only once Steve cleared his throat that you realized it was your turn.

“Oh, um. I… I guess I’m thankful for… Peggy, Howard and… and all of you,” you said shyly. Saying it out loud was way more embarrassing than it was in your head, made only worse by the chorus of _aww_ ’s from the guys. Steve nudged you with his shoulder, wide grin on his face; he felt the same way about your band of misfits as you did; they were like a family to him. Bucky reached for your hand and brought it to his lips, smiling warmly as he placed a gentle kiss to the back of it. Even though you were embarrassed, you wanted this moment to last. The only way it would have been more perfect was if Howard and Peggy had been there, too. You were finally enjoying a Thanksgiving meal with people you considered to be your family. 

Without any further ado, Bucky stood and began carving the turkey, giving everyone giant chunks as they piled side dishes onto their plates. You asked him what he wanted and made his plate up for him so he’d actually have food; you were almost worried they’d devour everything before he could make it halfway through the bird.

“Back, you filthy animals! You’ll get your piece in a minute!” he said, waving the carving knife dangerously at Jim, Dum Dum, and Gabe’s wandering hands. Jacques snuck in from Bucky’s other side and grabbed a slice of turkey for himself causing Bucky to squawk indignantly and throw his napkin at the laughing Frenchman.

You chuckled along to the scene playing out before you, grinning happily as you ate. James surprised all of you by letting loose a bit, nearly getting into a food fight with Jim. It was only Dum Dum and Steve’s stern voices and your threat of beating the both of them up that saved the walls of the dining room from Foodmageddon. The food disappeared more quickly than you thought possible and you were indeed glad you’d made a plate for Bucky. He sat down after everyone had gotten their share of turkey and began munching happily on his food, though his progress was somewhat hampered by his unwillingness to let your hand go throughout the rest of the meal.

You hadn’t been expecting much in the way of leftovers, but by the time everyone was done eating, not a single green bean, dinner roll, or season potato remained. Everyone had dissolved into side conversations; you, Steve, and Bucky were talking about New York. You caught a bit of Gabe and Jacques’ conversation- something about weird french traditions.

“Well, I suppose we should start cleaning up… not that there’s a whole lot to clean up in the first place,” you said, smirking at the nearly-licked-clean plates on the table.

“Oh no, little lady. Leave that to us. You, Steve, and Bucky deserve a break after all that work,” Dum Dum said, to which the rest of the guys nodded in agreement. You glanced at Steve and Bucky, who nodded insistently at you.

“Well… alright, if you insist,” you said reluctantly with a smile. “Thanks, guys.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go relax, ya bunch of idiots. We got this,” Jim said, already standing and gathering up plates.

Bucky stood and tugged you gently to your feet. You made to walk towards your room, but Bucky wordlessly tugged you in the other direction down the hall, Steve following closely behind. You gave the back of Bucky’s head a confused look and, realizing he wasn’t going to tell you what he was doing, you glanced back at Steve. His gaze snapped to you and he smiled and placed a finger to his lips, signalling you to just go with it.

This, however, only confused you more. If Steve wasn’t asking about Bucky’s odd behavior, that means he was in on whatever was going on.

You arrived in the living room just a few moments later and let out a gasp of surprise. You dropped Bucky’s hand and took a few steps forward, gazing around the living room in awe.

When you’d arrived a few days ago the house was a bit of a mess. However, it seemed like it had been cleaned up while you’d been preoccupied cooking. Although the Thanksgiving decorations were of questionable taste, there was no doubt that it was a vast improvement over what it had been before. Someone had even started a fire in the huge fireplace, though it was slowly dying, as you’d all been in the dining room eating for a long while.

It was downright cozy.

“Did you do all of this?” you asked excitedly, rounding on them.

They grinned at you, but shook their heads. “It was the guys, actually. They got back earlier than you thought and cleaned as sneakily as possible as a surprise for you,” Steve explained.

“The decorations were actually worse until Dum Dum came through and got rid of about half of it, if you can believe that,” Bucky said with a wink.

You laughed at that. “They let Jacques and Jim decorate, didn’t they?”

Bucky and Steve laughed and nodded. “Yeah, yeah they did,” Bucky conceded.

You turned back to the room and couldn’t help the wide grin that lit up your face. “I think it’s perfect.”

Bucky chuckled and hugged you from behind, resting his chin on the top of your head. “If you can get the radio working, we may actually have some entertainment tonight… unless you feel like listening to more of Dugan’s stories,” he said playfully.

“Oh god, pass. I can only take hearing the same story so many times,” you said, grimacing at the though. You loved Dum Dum but if you heard the one about the childhood friend, the bike, and the babysitter one more time you might punch him. Steve and Bucky sniggered and Bucky released you. You immediately set to work on the radio, asking Bucky to bring you what you needed from your tools as you needed them.

Not fifteen minutes later you had the thing working and it began playing quiet melodies throughout the house. Bucky fiddled with the dials for a minute until it picked up a faster song; Benny Goodman, if you weren’t mistaken.

“May I have this dance,” Bucky asked, extending his hand for you to take.

You froze, though, and looked at his hand like it was a snake that might bite you. “I, uh- I’ve never- I don’t-”

Bucky’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “You don’t know how to dance, Doll?”

You shifted nervously as the horns blared through the speakers and shook your head. “I… wasn’t really one to go out to dance halls, Buck,” you said sheepishly. _I was never really asked, technically_ , you thought to yourself.

Bucky let out a long sigh. “How is it neither my best girl nor my best guy know how to dance?” he said forlornly.

[Originally posted by shellar](https://tmblr.co/ZSv7Dw2QT-ogQ)

“Hey, I- …I resent that remark,” Steve said quietly, deflating a bit as he came to term with the fact he didn’t have a comeback for a straight fact like that.

“Alright, you two are learning how to dance. Tonight,” Bucky said determinedly as he rolled up his sleeves.

You and Steve gaped like fish, glancing to each other and back at Bucky. “What?” you both asked dumbly in unison.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at the two of you. “I’m teaching you how to dance. I want to take _you_ -” he looked pointedly at you “-out to a dance hall at some point and _you_ -” he stared Steve down “-need to learn to dance so you can take Peggy out. We’re killing two birds with one stone, here,” he said matter-of-factly.

You looked at Steve, who stared back at you, shrugging helplessly.

“Well, are we doing this?” Bucky asked, tone leaving little room for either of you to say no.

You and Steve both took deep breaths and nodded.

* * *

As it turned out, Bucky was as good at teaching someone how to fight as he was at teaching them how to dance.

Not too long into your lesson the guys had taken seats around the room to watch, each one hopping in with suggestions, tips, and dance moves every now and then. By the end of the night you’d danced with nearly all of them. Bucky would demonstrate (sometimes with you) and you and Steve would try to recreate it. The first hour or so had been almost mortifyingly bad, but you improved slowly but surely. Once or twice Bucky had had to dance with Steve directly to fix a problem, earning good-natured jabs from the peanut gallery. You’d only smiled at the sight of your two boys dancing together, trying your best to ingrain it into your memory.

The song changed and you recognized it because it was played everywhere.

“Alright, Doll, let’s see what you’ve learned,” Bucky said, seamlessly taking Steve’s place as your dance partner.

The song was faster than anything else you’d danced to so far and you struggled to keep up, but one look at the smile on his face and you were suddenly laughing joyfully as you danced with him. Who knew it could be so much fun, once you got the hang of it?

He chuckled along as the two of you cut a rug around the room, the other guys cheering excitedly as you passed. Bucky was the only thing that mattered just then- the light touches, moving with him, taking notice of the tiny tells you’d begun to notice and keep track of, which told you what he was going to do a second before he did it. He picked you up a few times and you let out a squeak of surprise each time he did; you hadn’t practiced any of the lifts yet and it made your stomach swoop each time he did it.

Finally, the last few notes of the song rang out and Bucky spun you into his chest just as the music died. The sudden silence was deafening and the only sound that could be heard for a few moments was your and Bucky’s heavy panting. He beamed down at you and placed a fiery kiss to your lips and the guys broke out into raucous applause.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured, sending you a saucy wink that had heat flooding into your cheeks.

 _“Thank you and goodnight, Europe,”_ you heard the man on the radio say. You tore your gaze away from Bucky at the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly.

“It’s late, we should get some sleep,” Steve said, smiling fondly at the two of you.

You glanced out the window. Sure enough, it was pitch black outside. Your head whipped around (your hair nearly hit Bucky in the face) to glance at the clock. It was nearly midnight.

You turned back to glare at Bucky, who raised his eyebrows at your sudden change in demeanor. “You let us dance this late? You’re all going out to search for the base tomorrow!” you said indignantly. You didn’t wait for his response and disentangled himself from his arms. “All of you! Bed! We have a lot of work to do tomorrow!” you said chastisingly.

The guys all grinned at your sudden strictness and slowly filed out of the room.

“Yes, mom,” you heard Jim say under his breath. You glared at the back of his head, picked up the stuffed carrot out of the cheesy cornucopia, and chucked it at his head. It struck true, bouncing comically off of his head and onto the floor. Steve and Bucky bit back chuckles, afraid they’d be the next on your shit list if you heard them laugh. “Ow! Fine, fine. I get it,” he said, hastily making an exit, practically shoving past Jacques and Dum Dum.

You turned and glared at Steve and Bucky, whose smiles quickly slid guiltily off their faces.

“Bed. Now.”

Steve nodded and made a hasty exit, but Bucky merely waggled his eyebrows and swept you up in his arms before you could stop him. “I love it when you boss me around like that, Doll,” he said suggestively, sending you a salacious wink that sent your heart fluttering in your chest.

“I, uhm- I didn’t mean-” you sputtered, completely off balance from his remarks.

He chuckled and placed a tender kiss to your cheek. “Just messin’ with you, sweetheart. Let’s get to bed, yeah?” he asked, smiling down at you.

You nodded eagerly and placed a kiss on his neck which only made him grin wider. “Shower first for me, though,” you said, giving your shirt an experimental whiff that had you cringing.

“Agreed,” Bucky said playfully as he made his way towards the small room the two of you were sharing.

“Hey!” you said, batting his chest lightly.

“What? You stink,” Bucky said, grinning mischievously at you.

“You’re not supposed to agree,” you pouted as Bucky nudged the door open with his foot and walked into the room. He set you down and you glared up at him, which only made him laugh.

You opened your mouth to chew him out some more, but he silenced you with a soft kiss to the lips, effectively distracting you from the argument. “Happy Thanksgiving, (Y/N),” he said quietly, running his fingers through your hair.

You beamed up at him. This had been the best Thanksgiving you’d had in years, maybe ever. “Happy Thanksgiving, Bucky.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Christmas, and you and the guys get up to mischief. You and Bucky finally take the next step in your relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), smut (oral- F receiving), NSFW, 18+,
> 
> A/N: Let’s play Spot the Foreshadowing! Can you guess which sentence is prophetic? :) This was supposed to be even smuttier, but I got to 4k and was like “nah betta not.” There may or may not be explicit smut in the next chapter. Haven’t decided yet.
> 
> TIL: boxers were called shorts in the 40′s :^)

[Originally posted by andantegrazioso](https://tmblr.co/ZIuCBn2T9bMsi)

The next month passed by quickly.

The guys came and went as needed for their missions. You went with them sometimes, but you mostly worked in your makeshift lab (the shed in the back yard), coming up with new and inventive ways to kill people and protect your little family.

Bucky and Steve were out on missions more often than you’d like, but they were at least making headway in tracking down the base. It seemed Hydra had learned a thing or two since Greece and it had been much harder to pin this one’s location down. Still, every day the got a step closer- money put into the right hands, the right man found and interrogated, certain vehicles going certain places- it all led you and the guys closer and closer to where you needed to be.

Before any of you knew it, it was Christmas Eve, and you still had no idea where the base was.

“(Y/N)! Doll, we’re back!”

You paused, not quite sure you’d heard correctly over the din of your workshop. It wasn’t uncommon for you to think you heard Steve, Bucky, or one of the guys come back, only to realize it was a neighbor or just your machines making odd noises. You pulled your glasses off and stared over your shoulder at the door, not daring to get your hopes up again.

“Baby, you in there?”

When he spoke again and you realized you weren’t just imagining things you practically rocketed out of your chair and sprung towards the door, only pausing long enough to make sure the tarp was still in place. One glance at it sitting in the corner told you it was, in fact, completely concealing what was underneath it from prying eyes.

You flung the door open and nearly ran face-first into Bucky, who caught you in his arms.

[Originally posted by maiden-marvel](https://tmblr.co/Zznseg28vibtn)

“Whoa! Slow your roll, sweetheart, or you’re gonna hurt somebody,” Bucky said, grinning down at you.

“Bucky! You’re back!” you said excitedly, surreptitiously checking for any injuries. Finding none, you finally let yourself relax completely and just enjoy the fact he was back, safe and sound. 

He chuckled, eyes twinkling with happiness. “Yeah, Doll. In one piece, too. And uh…” he glanced up above your heads and you followed his gaze.

There, a few inches above your heads (held by his own hand) was a sprig of mistletoe.

“Bucky! You could have just asked for a kiss, you know,” you said, standing on your toes to slowly close the gap between the two of you.

He smirked and leaned down, voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah, but I’m a bit of stickler for tradition.”

You let out a huff of laughter and finally closed the rest of the distance between you, lips touching together gently at first. You felt his arm (which had been holding the mistletoe) wrap around your waist. He pulled you to his chest and deepened the kiss and it turned heated quickly as the two of you got reacquainted with the way you felt against one another.

“Hey, lovebirds! Get your asses in here! We’re making cookies!” Dum Dum yelled out the back door.

You groaned as you broke away from Bucky and shoved your head into his chest. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, then placed a light kiss to the top of your head.

“I’m going to shove him in the oven,” you said darkly.

“No you won’t,” he murmured, smile clear in his voice.

You grumbled discontentedly into his chest for a moment before finally conceding, “no, I won’t.”

He chuckled and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder with ease. You squawked indignantly at your new position. “Bucky! Put me down!“

“Sorry, no can do, Doll.”

“And why not?” you asked, glaring at the back of his head.

A pause, then, “I like the view.”

* * *

“It’s… it’s on the floor.”

“It’s on the walls, too.”

“… How did it get on the ceiling?”

“It got in my hair…”

“This shirt is ruined.”

“Zat was fun!”

You all turned to stare at Jacques, who was grinning at the wreck of a kitchen, gleeful smile on his face. He was covered head-to-toe in flour and bits of dough, remnants of the cookie-making session that had quickly devolved into a food fight once Steve had accidentally spilled some flour on Bucky.

The rest of you weren’t much better off.

You were sure you’d be cleaning dough out of your hair for hours.

He realized you were all staring at him and he shrugged. “Quelle? C'était,” he said defensively. _What? It was._

You rolled your eyes. Steve groaned as Bucky, Gabe,  Jim, and Dum Dum broke out into fits of giggles. James (who was remarkably unscathed from the cookie dough food fight) seemed largely unamused by the whole ordeal.

“Alright, you bunch of jokers. We have to start making dinner soon. Get this place cleaned up,” you said as you began gathering up all the scattered utensils and bowls.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Bucky said, grabbing your attention from the task at hand.

“What’s up, Buck?” you asked, turning around so you could look at him…

…only to be met with a face full of flour.

You had thankfully shut your eyes in time, but your mouth wasn’t so lucky.

You sputtered, blowing the flour straight onto Bucky’s chest as you swiped the worst of it off of your face.

Bucky had a shit-eating grin on, completely unaware of the beast he’d just awoken.

“James Buchanan Barnes.”

The rest of the guys, who had been watching the scene unfold with interest, suddenly went stock-still at your deadly tone.

Bucky looked a little nervous, crouching down slightly so he was eye level with you. He put on a small smile that quickly vanished when your lips didn’t so much as twitch. “Yeah, Sweetheart?”

No amount of pet names were going to save him now.

“Run,” you said darkly as you picked up the bag of flour.

His eyes widened and, the moment he saw your hand going into that bag, he turned tail and ran. You followed him, hot on his heels, throwing flour at him every time you got a clear shot. The guys guffawed at the whole thing. You were pretty sure you’d reduced Jim to tears on the couch, and Steve wasn’t much better off.

By the time you’d gotten your revenge, Bucky was more flour than not and the bag was nearly empty.

You stood gasping for air in the living room, but one look at Bucky had you dissolving into giggles. You were so distracted you didn’t realize how close he was getting until he plucked the bag of flour from your hands and set it down on the coffee table.

One look in his eyes and you knew you were in trouble. There was a mischievous, playful glint that had you turning to run away immediately. “No no no-!”

You let out a squeak when his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you in place as effectively as pieces of iron.

“Now, where do you think you’re going, Doll?” he asked, voice silky smooth and oh so deadly.

 _Oh boy._ You were in for it now.

“I was just, uh, going to… go draw a bath for you?” you asked, not daring to look at him, even though you could feel his head on your shoulder and his stare boring into you.

He gave you a squeeze that sent a thrill of anticipation down your spine. “And why would I need that… when you’re the one with flour all over you?” he asked, tone heavy with promises of what was to come.

“But… but I’m not-”

You yelped when Bucky picked you up bodily and threw you onto the couch. You barely had time to register the sudden change in position- much less move- before he was on top of you. You didn’t know what was happening immediately, but started laughing and trying to shove him off when you realized he was rubbing all the flour you’d thrown on him onto you.

“Bucky! Nooo!” you squealed, trying in vain to avoid his face as he grinned and rubbed it all over you, leaving trails of flour everywhere he went.

Eventually, though, you just let it happen. He was much too strong for you to stop and you couldn’t help but admit to yourself that he felt amazing laying on top of you like that. Whether he’d intended to or not, having him rub his entire body up against you had your mind wandering to more elicit thoughts.

He stilled after a moment when he noticed your sudden silence. He glanced up, worried that he’d upset you with his shenanigans. One look at your eyes, though, and his fears were chased away, as the only emotions in your gaze were need, adoration, and lust. His gaze immediately darkened almost imperceptibly.

He leaned on his arms and pulled himself up the couch a few inches until his face was level with yours, planting himself more firmly between your legs. Even through the numerous layers of clothing, you could feel the telltale bulge of his hardening cock against your thigh. The feeling sent heat straight to your cheeks… and between your legs.

Bucky’s lips were on yours a second later and you kissed him back feverishly, arms going around his neck.

You’d made out with Bucky before. Long kissing sessions between missions. Sometimes in your shared bed, sometimes out in your lab. They didn’t feel like this, though. This was all wandering hands and lingering touches in sensitive places. Your tongues tangled together and every time you broke apart gasping for air, you were back devouring each other’s lips again a moment later.

The sound of the front door closing surprised the two of you and you both froze, confused. Bucky sat up on his legs and you came up with him, throwing your arm over the back of the couch to help hoist yourself up.

You both glanced around the house. It was a straight shot to the kitchen and dining room and the guys, who had been there a moment before, were suddenly missing.

You and Bucky seemed to put two and two together at about the same time. You turned to each other, grinning.

“I think we scared them off,” you said jokingly. Your gaze traveled back to Bucky and you suddenly felt a thrill of excitement and embarrassment run through you. You’d been getting very hot and heavy on the couch and you could tell it was taking all of Bucky’s willpower to hold back.

“I s’pose we did…” he murmured, gently tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. The way he was staring at you sent a new wave of heat straight through you. He leaned down and placed another tender kiss to your lips. “You should go get cleaned up, Doll…” he said, not quite able to completely hide how much he obviously wanted to continue what was happening a moment before.

As you looked up into his earnest ice blue eyes, all hesitation and doubt left you.

“Join me.”

He froze, eyes immediately searching yours for any trace of duplicity. When he found only earnestness and want, his eyes turned dark once more. “Are you sure?” he asked, always the gentleman.

You gave him a tiny nod that belied the huge emotion in your eyes. “I’m sure.”

He crushed his lips against yours and a low groan rumbled in his chest. He trapped your bottom lip between his teeth and gave his hips a slow roll, grinding his pelvis into yours. You let out a strained whimper, relishing the way his body felt pressed up against yours.

He broke the kiss and, a moment later, you were cradled in his arms a he stood gracefully from the couch. Your legs went around his waist and your arms latched securely around his neck.

“God, Babydoll. You’re going to be the death of me,” he murmured, peppering your neck and collarbone with kisses. He made his way slowly to the bathroom, occasionally bumping into a wall or table, but neither of you paid it any mind, too lost in each other’s touch to care. One of your arms came around and snuck under his shirt, mapping the hard planes of his toned chest by touch alone.

One of his hands let go of you long enough to yank the door open, walk in, and lock it behind you. He kissed you hard before setting you down slowly. He took your face between his hands and placed a light kiss to the tip of your nose.

“If you want me to stop at any point, just let me know, Doll.”

Instead of answering him, you took one of his hands and guided it down your body, only stopping once you were at the hem of your shirt.

He took the hint, dropping down until he was eye-level with your stomach, and pulled your shirt up slowly, trailing kisses up your skin as it was exposed. A moment later it was over your head and on the floor. His lips were back on yours as his hands ghosted up your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your hands found their way to the bottom button of his shirt. Your fingers worked quickly, deftly undoing each button until you were able to push the front of his shirt open, revealing his broad chest. His fingers undid your bra with an ease that nearly made you jealous (why couldn’t _you_ get it on the first try like that?).

He broke the kiss and stared longingly down at you, drinking in your appearance. His shirt had slipped down his arms, revealing his broad shoulders. The sight was enough to make your mouth water and you had the sudden urge to run your tongue over every inch of his exposed skin.

It seemed he was having similar thoughts, judging by his burning gaze as he slipped your bra from your body and threw it on the floor next to your shirt. You had to bite back a laugh when you spotted a thick stripe of flour running down his chest. You sent a smirk up his way and he had only a moment to collect himself before you ran your tongue over his skin in a thick stripe, cutting a path clean through the flour. He shivered at the simple touch and closed his eyes, letting out a little sigh of contentedness.

You tugged his shirt the rest of the way off and added it to the growing pile. You gave him a gentle shove towards the tub and he opened his eyes and grinned, pulling you with him as he walked backwards. He gave you a sly wink as he reached behind himself and turned the water on. He gazed down at you, taking in your appearance. He took his bottom lip between his teeth as his hands traveled over your skin, his need plain as day on his face.

“You’re breathtaking, (Y/N),” he murmured, running a thumb over your cheek. You snorted dismissively and he frowned, taking your face gently between his hands. “I mean it, Doll. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

You wanted to dismiss his words, but one look into his eyes and you knew he meant every word.

You stood on your toes and ghosted your lips over his, both of you closing your eyes as you lost yourselves in each other’s touch. His hands trailed down your back, eventually landing on the zipper of your skirt. Your breath hitched when you felt him slowly unzip it, pace almost torturous in its sluggishness.

It fell to the floor a moment later, pooling around your feet. You stood there in naught but your underwear, your nakedness suddenly sending heat to your cheeks.

_This is really happening._

And you didn’t want it to stop.

You slipped a finger into the waistband of his pants, giving it a gentle tug. “You look a little overdressed there, Sarge,” you murmured, gazing up at him through your eyelashes.

He groaned and captured your lips in a fiery kiss that made your head spin. His hands left your body to tug his pants down and kick off his shoes. They joined the pile on the floor and suddenly the two of you were left in only your underwear.

He broke the kiss and gazed down at you, eyes searching your face for any signs of hesitation.

You placed a kiss firmly to the center of his chest and, ever so slowly, shimmied your underwear over your hips and down your legs, skin hot under his gaze. Wordlessly, you turned away from him and stepped into the tub, putting yourself under the now-hot spray of water. Then, you turned and beckoned for him to join you. 

Your breath hitched when you saw the way he was looking at you. Pure lust and adoration that made your heart threaten to beat out of your chest.

Bucky didn’t waste any time in stripping the last of his clothing, the shorts the final piece to join the heap on the floor.

Your eyes widened a little bit at the thick member standing at attention between his legs. “ _At ease, soldier_ ,” you murmured suggestively almost without realizing it. He chuckled, causing your gaze to snap back up to his face guiltily as he stepped into the shower and closed the curtain behind him.

“Sorry, I- uh-” you floundered, trying to come up with a good excuse for your words.

“No, please _do_ go on,” he said with a flirty wink, bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he closed the distance between you. He reached towards you slowly and you expected him to run his hands over your skin or maybe cup your cheek, but it went past you. You glanced over your shoulder and saw he’d grabbed the bar of soap. He worked it into a lather before placing it back. With a sly wink at you, his hands began sliding slowly over your body, working tension from your muscles as he washed you. You sighed and relaxed into his touch, letting the tension from months of working on this mission flow out of your body.

His deft hands treated every inch of you with a tender care the likes of which you’d never received before. You watched him work the entire time, eyes blown with lust at the sinful sight before you; you thought Bucky was attractive before, but a lusty and soaking wet Bucky was beyond your wildest dreams.

You grabbed the bar of soap and began doing the same for him, washing away the dirt, grime, and flour from his body. Neither of you touched the other’s most sensitive areas. The touches were sensual, yes, but the sexual tension only mounted by the second, both of you almost silently daring the other to make the first move.

Eventually, though, the both of you were clean and Bucky had had enough. His lips crashed against yours, the kiss stealing your breath away. You gasped for air when he broke it and began trailing kisses down your neck, sucking love bites into your skin as he went.

You shivered with anticipation when his lips didn’t stop their downward descent and a gasp was ripped from your lips when his tongue ghosted over one of your hard buds. A small whimper escaped you as his lips wrapped around it and began sucking, the other hand coming up to pinch and tweak your other neglected nipple.

“You make the prettiest sounds, Doll,” he said hotly before he switched positions between his hand and mouth. You arched your back with a moan and you could feel him smile against your skin. He looked absolutely sinful like that, mouth latched onto your breast while water cascaded down his chest. His other hand went from your hip and slipped between your legs, drawing a keening cry from your mouth as his fingers ghosted over your soaking lips.

Not wanting to be the only one feeling good, you reached for his heavy cock, taking it in your hand, and gave it a few experimental tugs. He groaned against your chest and you could feel the vibrations which only made his ministrations feel even better. His mouth came off of your breast with a lewd pop, though, and he gently but firmly took your hand off his cock. You were worried for a moment that you did something wrong, but he simply smiled at you.

“Let me take care of you first, Doll,” he murmured, placing a kiss between the valley of your breasts.

You nodded. How could you not with those sexy steel blue eyes staring up at you with such naked fondness?

Satisfied, he trailed kisses even farther down. He kneeled in front of you and your heart raced with anticipation. Was he really going to-

He stared lustily up at you through his lashes as he pulled one of your legs up and placed it over his shoulder, planting tender kisses and nibbles to your inner thighs. One of his hands went around to cup your ass, and pulled you that much closer to his waiting mouth. The first lick through your folds nearly made your legs give out already and you fell against the shower wall, one hand burying itself in his hair, he other holding on to the wall for dear life to help keep yourself upright. He groaned at your taste, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core.

“Oh, god, Bucky…”

His tongue swirled through your folds, easily pulling wanton moans from you. When his nose nudged your clit your hips bucked involuntarily and Bucky’s other hand moved to hold you in place by your hip. Between the one holding your ass and the one holding your hip, you were trapped, unable to escape his experienced mouth (not that you wanted to).

His tongue swirled around your clit, nearly driving you crazy as the knot in your stomach tightened. His mouth played your body like an instrument, tongue and lips working at your most sensitive spots, pulling lewd moans from you left and right. Any particularly strong feelings were punctuated by a sharp tug to his hair that had him moaning deep against your pussy.

The hand that had been holding you in place by your ass moved around and he ran his fingers gently through your folds. The dual stimulation between his fingers and mouth nearly had you coming undone already.

But when one of his fingers entered your depths and was met with resistance, you both froze, hazy gazes clearing a bit as you locked eyes.

“Babydoll… you didn’t say… are you sure?” he asked tentatively.

You ran your fingers through his hair, admiring the way he leaned into the touch, and nodded. “I’m sure, Buck. I want it to be you,” you murmured.

You didn’t think he could look at you with any more fondness than he already did, but if you didn’t know any better you would classify that look as _love_.

“Relax for me Doll,” he murmured before his lips returned to your clit, sucking at the bud gently. You let out a cry of pleasure at the sudden sensation. His fingers probed at the thin layer of tissue just past the entrance of your pussy. You barely even felt it break, only realizing it was over once you felt his finger even deeper inside of you. “You did so good, sweetheart. So good for me,” he praised as he pumped his finger in and out of you. Your muscles clenched around the digit, body on fire.

“Bucky… so good…” you moaned, head thrown back against the wall in ecstasy.

A second finger joined the first and you felt that strange, intense feeling building near your stomach again. When his fingers began curling up inside of you, your body shook violently, legs nearly giving out again.

“Look at me Doll,” he ordered, mouth leaving your clit only long enough to get the words out.

You forced your eyes open and looked down at him. The sight of him looking up at you, steel blue eyes trained unwaveringly on your face as he ate you out was enough to send you over the edge.

You came with a cry, calling his name over and over again, throwing in a “Sarge” here and there for good measure. He worked you through your orgasm, drawing it out longer with his mouth and fingers which didn’t let up their pace. When he realized your clit was too sensitive for stimulation he stopped sucking it, instead placing kisses to your thighs as his fingers drove into you again and again.

Eventually, those too stilled and he pulled them out. Without looking away from your gaze, he popped them into his mouth and sucked them clean, the sight sending another wave of arousal straight to your core. When he took your leg off of his shoulder you nearly collapsed, saved only from a tragic death in the bathroom by his arms wrapping securely around you as he stood.

He kissed you fiercely and you kissed back like it was the first and last kiss you’d ever have with him.

You broke apart, gasping, and he smiled down at you, smile almost blinding. “Good, Doll?”

“That… That was… _wow_ , Bucky,” you said, unable to form the words needed to describe how good it felt.

He chuckled, turned the water off, and picked you up. “Think you’re up for a round two?” he asked salaciously as he tore the curtain open and made his way to the door.

“Sergeant Barnes, I would love a round two,” you said seriously, using your position in his arms to suck love bites into his collarbone and neck.

He opened the door, pausing long enough only to ensure the guys weren’t back yet before he made a beeline to your shared room. “Aye aye, ma’am.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas isn’t the only thing coming. You, Bucky, Steve and the guys spend your first Christmas together and it’s more than you could have ever hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), smut (vaginal), NSFW, 18+
> 
> A/N: Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays. Your gift is… MORE SMUT. Congratulations. I hope you all enjoy it. I think I’m smutted out for another 50k words.  
> I hope you guys like vanilla. Because we got some vanilla up in this bitch.  
> *I really must insist that you do not read this chapter if you’re not 18 years of age or older*

[Originally posted by wonderworldmotion](https://tmblr.co/ZBUdef2T58e4R)

 

An obvious trail of water led from the bathroom downstairs to your shared bedroom on the second floor. Your clothes lay forgotten in a heap next to the tub.

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened.

Bucky fell onto the bed with you in his arms, leaning back hard enough on the headrest that it slammed against the wall so hard that the entire thing shook.

Neither you nor Bucky even noticed.

You were lost in each other’s touch; naked, wet bodies pressed up against one another. He pulled you easily onto his lap, and you gasped into the kiss when your still-sensitive clit rubbed against his throbbing cock.

Your hands wandered everywhere, from his chest to his broad shoulders to his hair. You were learning every inch of him bit by bit.

You gave your hips an experimental roll, smiling into the kiss when Bucky let out a low groan. “Fuck, Babydoll. You’re so hot,” he murmured, lips trailing kisses down your neck. You sighed happily, head thrown back in ecstasy as his hands roamed across your skin, pausing to lavish your nipples with pinches and gropes that had you keening under his expert ministrations. “Such pretty noises…”

His hands found their way to your hips and you nearly came again when he grabbed them and pulled you down hard as he thrusted up, giving you the delicious friction you so craved. His cock slid easily along your soaked folds, and the feeling made you both moan in unison.

“God, please, Bucky…” you moaned as he rocked your hips along his cock, nails digging into his shoulders, leaving little crescents in their wake. The sensation made him let out a low, long hiss of pleasure.

Those deep blue eyes bored into you with a fire you hadn’t seen until today. It only made you want him more.

“Please what, Doll? Use your words,” he said, staring at you expectantly, even as his hands continued to work your body.

_Oh, hell._

Words? How could you use your words when he made it hard to think at all?

 A particularly slow grind of your pelvises together had you moaning and falling forward onto his chest, nails leaving white tracks that quickly turned a light pink a moment later. “Please, I want you inside of me,” you murmured against his neck, cheeks heating with embarrassment at the admission.

A hand left your hip and cupped your chin, pulling your face up so that you were once again looking into his eyes. “You’re sure, (Y/N)?” he asked, giving you one last chance to back out.

But you couldn’t fathom the thought. “Yes, Bucky. I want you. I want _this_ ,” you said, pressing your core against him. He captured your lips in a fierce kiss and you sensed him reaching out for something. You were too enraptured by the kiss to look at what he was doing, but you heard the telltale sound of the bedside table drawer opening, followed by the sound of him rummaging around blindly for something. He must have found whatever he was looking for because you heard it slam shut a moment later.

He broke the kiss and you finally got a chance to see what he’d been looking for.

A condom.

He winked slyly up at you when he saw you staring. “I didn’t think you’d want to carry a kid out on the front lines of Europe,” he said giving your cheek a kiss.

“You’re right about that,” you muttered, head spinning at the idea as he opened the package.

You lifted yourself off of him without him having to ask- just enough that he was able to roll it onto his cock. Now that you had a clear view, you gulped, a wave of anxiety crashing over you.

Was… was that going to fit? His fingers had seemed like so much but that… that was much larger than a finger or two.

He seemed to sense your hesitation because his lips were on yours and his hands ran over your skin, soothing your nerves in an instant. “It’s okay, Doll. I’m going to take care of you. I want you to feel good,” he murmured, staring into your eyes with a conviction that you had no trouble believing.

“I trust you, Bucky,” you said, small smile dancing on your lips.

And it was true. You trusted this man more than anyone you’d ever met before.

The feeling both scared and exhilarated you.

Instead of responding he placed a messy, heated kiss to your lips and lifted your hips up, positioning you carefully over his cock. One of his hands left your hip to hold himself in place, and you lowered yourself slowly, nearly freezing for a moment when you felt his tip brush your entrance.

“Relax, Baby, I’ve got you,” he murmured, lips ghosting over your sensitive skin. You both let out a moan when his tip pushed into you. Your legs trembled from keeping yourself so steady and his lips found their way to your breast and he began sucking greedily on it, distracting you enough that you relaxed and he was able to slide further into you.

The stretch was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. You felt him sink further and further inside of you with every heartbeat, connected in this most intimate of ways. Before you knew it he was seated almost fully inside of you, tip nudging at your cervix. You felt so full, his cock pressing against you in just the right spots, that you nearly came again then and there.

Bucky’s mouth left your nipple with a wet pop and his lips found yours once again, both of you moaning when your pussy clenched him involuntarily and his hips jerked in response. “So tight, sweetheart…”

You needed more. More of him.

“Please, Bucky. Please move,” you moaned, eyes pleading.

It was an enormous show of control on his part that he didn’t simply fuck you to kingdom come then and there. Oh, how he wanted to. He wanted to fuck you into the mattress until you couldn’t walk straight.

But this was your first time and he wanted to make love to you, not just fuck.

“Gotta move with me, sweetheart,” he murmured, guiding your hips up. He was nearly out of you before you sank back down onto him again, both of you letting out cries of pleasure as he filled you completely.

Once you got the motion down, you picked up speed, guided by his hands and murmured words of praise.

“You’re doing so good, Baby. So wet for me. Taking my cock so good…”

His words were getting to you nearly as much as his actions, head spinning in ecstasy as he worked every ounce of pleasure possible from your body.

Heat was pooling in your lower stomach again. You recognized the feeling from earlier and it made you pick up your pace, surprising Bucky for only a moment.

He matched your speed almost immediately, hips thrusting up into you, skin slapping against skin as your hips met each other again and again.

You were getting close and he must have realized it. He leaned forward a bit and suddenly your clit was rubbing against his abdomen with each thrust. You let out a moan, pace becoming erratic as your end neared.

“Bucky- Bucky I’m gonna-”

“I know, Doll. Come for me. I wanna see you come on my cock,” he murmured, filthy words the thing to finally send you over the edge.

You came with a cry, pussy convulsing around his cock as your orgasm ripped through your body. He fucked you through it, both hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, but you didn’t care. It felt too good. He murmured sweet nothings in your ear, his own climax fast approaching on the tail end of yours. “So pretty, Doll. You look so good riding my cock like that.”

Past the most intense part of your orgasm, you reached up and buried your fingers in his hair and mashed your lips against his, swallowing his moans as you both struggled to keep pace as he got closer and closer to his release. You broke the kiss and looked into those endless ice blue eyes, gasping as he fucked your sensitive body. “Bucky, please. God, I want to see you come,” you whimpered, too turned on to be shocked or ashamed at the filthy words you were spewing.

A pained groan was the only response you got before your lips met once more, gasps and moans swallowed by each other. You gave his hair a tug, knowing he liked it when you made out, and it was enough to send him over the edge. Without warning his arms went around you, pulling you flush to his chest. He thrust up into you erratically and came with a cry, your name a murmured prayer on his lips as his cock twitched, his release coating the inside of the condom.

He rested his forehead against your collarbone as he caught his breath, arms still securely around your waist. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gently carding your fingers through his hair. For a moment, it was like the entire world was still and it was only the two of you, wrapped in each other’s arms, his cock still inside of you.

Then, he moved, placing a kiss gently to the space between your breasts. “Was… was that okay? I didn’t hurt you?” he asked tentatively, voice slightly muffled because his lips were less than an inch from your skin.

You pulled back enough to look down at him, needing a moment to collect your thoughts.

You looked into those kind, intelligent steel blue eyes and you knew just then that you loved this man.

“Bucky, that was amazing. It felt incredible,” you assured him, placing a kiss to his forehead. He smiled that bright, blinding smile that only made an appearance when he was truly, unequivocally happy.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, placing a kiss to your cheek. He motioned for you to get up slowly and you did. He held the condom in place as you got up, the both of you sighing as he slipped out of you. He lifted you off of him with ease and placed you gently down onto the bed and you pouted, missing the feeling of him under you. One look at your expression and he was chuckling. “I’ll be back in a second. Stay right there,” he said with a wink, standing and heading towards the door, only pausing long enough to pull the condom off, tie the end in a knot, and throw it in the garbage.

He returned a moment later with a warm wash cloth and you watched as he made his way over to the bed. He cleaned you slowly, careful to be extra gentle around your clit. Even with his light, careful touch, you let out a whimper when he ran the cloth over the oversensitive bud.

“Sorry, Doll,” he said, giving you an apologetic grimace.

“It’s alright, Bucky,” you said with a smile, which he returned.

When he was done he ran it along his shaft, cleaning the worst of the mess from it before throwing it into the dirty clothes bin.

He laid down, sprawling out next to you on his side, and pulled you into his chest which made you giggle, content smile on your face.

[Originally posted by seabasschino](https://tmblr.co/Zk1IOm29svqi2)

“Merry Christmas, Doll,” he murmured, lips ghosting a kiss to your temple.

You smiled and caught his lips with your own and kissed him lazily for a moment before breaking it, and smiled up at him. “Merry Christmas, Buck.”

* * *

The guys returned about an hour later, most of them looking distinctly more intoxicated than they did when they’d left.

“Hey guys, welcome back,” you said with an amused smile, watching Steve try to wrangle Jim and Gabe, who seemed to be the worst off out of everyone.

“Did you guys go to the bar?” Bucky asked, looking the group up and down with amusement.

“Steve said he was buying if we left immediately,” James said, sounding deceptively coherent for how badly he was swaying on his feet.

“Won’t pass up free alcohol,” Dum Dum said, hiccuping just a moment later.

Bucky looked to Steve who shrugged sheepishly, giving both you and Bucky a small smile. Steve had- at what was likely great cost, judging by the state of the guys- gotten them all out of the house for a while so you and Bucky could have time alone.

You and Bucky grinned at him. Bucky gave his friend a one-armed hug and rough pat on the back. You mouthed “thank you” to him over Bucky’s shoulder, which made him turn that adorable shade of pink as he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Alright, how many of you are sober enough to cook?” you asked them, studying them all warily.

Seven hands shot up and you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

* * *

When all was said and done, you, Bucky, Jacques and Dum Dum cooked while Steve took care of James, Jim, and Gabe.

You heard at least a few suspicious noises while you were cooking (a few of which sounded eerily like explosions or glass breaking) but you valiantly ignored them, focusing instead on making Christmas dinner. You and the guys worked like a well-oiled machine by now, not needing to say more than a few words to get entire thoughts across.

By the time dinner was out and on the table, the guys were mostly sober (though judging from the amount of wine bottles Jacques pulled seemingly from out of nowhere, that probably wouldn’t stay the case for very long).

* * *

Two and a half glasses of wine later you were feeling very good. Things were funnier, music was more joyful, Bucky was prettier (which you didn’t think was possible), and everyone was happier.

“I think I could beat him.”

“Dream on. My guy’s the best sniper in the Allied Army,” you said, glaring good-naturedly at James over your glass.

“Oh please. The U.S. Army, maybe, but he can’t hold a candle to the British Army. I’ve got a few moves I _know_ Barnes doesn’t know,” James said, smirking.

Bucky was watching the two of you bicker with an amused smile. While the others (sans Steve, of course) were well on their way to a drunken state, Bucky was barely feeling a buzz, no matter how many glasses of wine he downed. His arm was wrapped around your shoulders and you were leaning up against his side, your presences warming and comforting one another.

Which was probably a good thing, because it meant he was able to stop your next words that much more quickly.

When you spoke again, your tone was suggestive as you waggled your brows at James. “Yeah, well, I can guarantee you there a few moves he knows that- _mff_ -”

Your words were cut off when Bucky’s large hand plastered itself straight over your mouth. You were surprised at the sudden action, but a moment later your brain registered what you were about to say and you turned to Bucky, wide-eyed.

He was giving you an unimpressed, resigned look that screamed _“really?”_

It was too late. The damage was done.

You heard the stifled chuckles around the room and turned to face them, cheeks heating with embarrassment. Bucky’s hand left your mouth and you almost wished it would stay. Maybe that way you wouldn’t make crude insinuations about your love life to your friends.

The guys were all giving Bucky knowing looks and not-so-subtle thumbs up when they thought you weren’t looking. Steve looked as embarrassed as you felt, his cheeks a cherry tomato red. You supposed hearing about his childhood friend’s love life wasn’t on the top of the list of things Steve Rogers was comfortable with.

“Wait, why are we laughing?” Jim asked, having spaced out during your and James’ conversation.

“Because my girlfriend just made obvious insinuations about our love life,” Bucky said. You didn’t have to turn around to know he was smiling.

Girlfriend. No matter how many times you heard it it still made your heart beat faster. It was almost enough to distract you from your embarrassment. Almost.

“Oh, yeah we figured that out the moment we stepped in the door,” Gabe said dismissively.

“What? How?” you screeched, alarmed.

“Have you not looked in a mirror, (Y/N)? You’re covered in hickeys,” James said bluntly, smirk on his lips.

Bucky’s uproarious laughter rang out throughout the house and you sat there, mortified for a moment, before turning around and smacking him lightly on the chest, which only made him laugh harder, with the added benefit of making the rest of the guys laugh, too.

Eventually you joined them as well, too drunk and happy to stay mad at any of them, especially Bucky.

* * *

You awoke the next morning your favorite way; next to Bucky. You’d shifted a bit in the night and he was behind you now, your arms and legs tangled together as he spooned you, deep breaths ruffling your hair.

You thought about letting him sleep a bit longer, but decided against it. It as Christmas, after all.

“Bucky.”

“Mm,” was the disgruntled, mostly-asleep response.

“It’s Christmas,” you said with barely concealed excitement, giving his arm a gentle squeeze.

He pulled you closer and took a deep breath before letting it out in a long, sleepy sigh. “And it’s not goin’ anywhere. Go back to sleep,” he mumbled.

“So you don’t want your gift?” you asked playfully, finally turning your head so you could see his face.

One bleary blue eye opened and fixated on you and you could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “Fine. You win.”

* * *

Ten minutes later you were dressed and headed out to your lab-shed in the backyard.

“Come on!” you said eagerly, tugging him along the trodden earth pathway, huge smile on your lips.

He chuckled and let himself be dragged. “Alright, alright. I’m coming.”

You punched in the security code to your lab. The light turned green and you yanked the door open, darting inside quickly, Bucky following closely behind. You flicked the light on and the door closed with a resounding slam a moment later. Then, you pulled him over to the area in front of the tarp.

“Alright, close your eyes.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at you and you returned it, crossing your arms stubbornly.

He sighed, shrugged, and closed his eyes.

“If you zap me with some new invention, be warned: I _will_ get revenge,” he said jokingly.

You ignored him and rolled your eyes before pulling the tarp off carefully, checking over your shoulder once or twice to make sure he wasn’t peeking.

“Alright, open them,” you said, excitement and anxiety flowing through you in equal measures.

_What if he doesn’t like it? Well, it’s a little late for that now._

He opened his eyes, his gaze immediately falling to you, then…

…then to the half destroyed motorcycle sitting next to you.

He looked from you to the bike and back again, gaze darting to an fro in confusion as he tried to figure out what you were thinking and if this was a joke or not.

You hurried to explain. “I, uh… I have Moxie and Steve has Patriot, but… but you don’t have one and I thought… I thought maybe we could rebuild this one together…” you trailed off, the idea sounding stupider the longer you talked. “Sorry, this was a stupid idea… I should have just…”

Bucky took a step forward, hands ghosting over the rusted, paint-peeled metal. “I love it,” he said, gazing down at the motorcycle fondly, smile on his lips.

“You do?” you asked, shocked.

He turned and pulled you into a huge hug. “Yeah, Doll. I can’t wait to fix ‘er up with you,” he said giving you a sappy, sloppy kiss that had you giggling.

“Good, because she needs _a lot_ of fixing,” you said with a smile.

Bucky beamed back at you, placing a kiss to your cheek before straightening up. “Does that mean I can give you your gift, since I got mine?” he asked, smiling down at you.

“I suppose,” you said with a smile, unable to hide your excited smile at the thought of a Christmas gift from Bucky.

To your surprise, he pulled a bright and neatly wrapped package out from his coat. You hadn’t seen him grab it earlier or felt it when you’d hugged him.

You took it from him hesitantly, eyeing it critically. It was about six inches tall, four inches wide, and about a quarter inch thick. You gave it a gentle shake; nothing. You glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow as though his face might hold the answer.

“It’s not going to bite you. Just open it,” he said with a laugh.

You gave him one last look before you ripped through the shiny red paper.

“Oh, Bucky…”

You tore the last bits of wrapping paper out of the way and felt your breath leave you in a whoosh. There, in a sturdy metal frame, was the first picture you’d ever taken with Bucky back at the beginning of November, right after you’d both admitted your feelings. You were both smiling at the camera. Bucky’s chin rested on the top of your head and his arms were wrapped around your chest. Your hands were resting on his forearms and you both looked absolutely over the moon.

You ran your fingers gently over the glass and you stared at you and Bucky in black and white miniature, smile on your face. You weren’t sure exactly why you started crying. Maybe it was simply because you were so touched and happy because of the simple but meaningful gift.

Bucky, however, couldn’t read your mind, and started to panic. “I’m sorry, Doll. I didn’t know it would upset you this much. I thought you’d be happy-”

You stood on your toes and silenced him with a kiss to the lips. You broke the kiss and smiled up at him, wiping your eyes with your free hand.

“I love it, Buck.”

He beamed down at you, cupping your cheek in his hand. “I’m glad,” he murmured, running his thumb over your cheek.

You stood on your toes and placed a chaste kiss to his lips and twined your fingers together with his. “I have a few more gifts to deliver, and I’m sure the guys are awake by now.”

“Lead the way, Doll,” he said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

* * *

You and the guys were all gathered in the living room. Small gifts were exchanged here and there. Bucky’s gift was the only one that wouldn’t fit under the tree, but the rest of the guys got brand new inventions.

Finally, there was a small unassuming package under the tree, wrapped with brown paper and tied up with twine.

“Who’s that for?” Jim asked, nodding his head towards the package.

“Oh, dang! I almost forgot!” you said, hopping out of your seat between Bucky and Steve to grab the package. James was closer, though, and handed it to you. “This is from Peggy and Howard!” you said excitedly.

Steve visibly brightened at the mention of Peggy while Bucky scowled at the mention of Howard (it almost seemed like reflex at this point, even though you’d long explained that you didn’t like Howard _that way_ ).

You tore the package open to reveal a box of… patches?

Yes, they were patches. Military unit patches, a little smaller than the size of your palm.

They were in the shape of tiny golden wings, not unlike the ones that had been on the sides of Steve’s cowl back before he started wearing the helmet.

The guys all crowded around you, pulling patches out to assess. You stared at it, confused.

Bucky stared at the one in his hand, as did Steve. Eventually, Steve piped up. “Is there a letter?” he asked, nodding to the box.

You put your patch in your lap and dug around in the box. Sure enough, there was a letter enclosed.

 

 

> _Dear (Y/N),_
> 
> _Howard and I hope this letter finds you well. Enclosed is the official insignia for your unit, as approved by Colonel Phillips. I had a hand in the design and Stark had them made in a day, which was helpful as I know it will likely take some time for this to reach you. With any luck, the package will arrive there around Christmas. I want you to know Howard, Phillips, and I are doing everything in our power to find that main Hydra base while you, Steve, and the rest of your team take out the ones we already know about._  
>  I can’t be with you right now, but I know you’ll keep yourself safe. I suppose I should ask you to keep Steve safe, but I know such a task is impossible, so I won’t. Maybe just keep him from doing the **really** stupid things? I need him in one piece for a dance, after all.  
>  I’ve been getting your letters, but I always like hearing from you, so please send me more. I want to hear more about Sergeant Barnes.  
>  Also, please give the attached photo to Steve, if you wouldn’t mind.  
>  Merry Christmas, (Y/N)!  
>    
>  Love,  
>  Peggy  
>  …and Howard, I suppose

For the second time that day you found yourself fighting back tears. 

“They’re for us. They’re our unit’s official insignia,” you said, beaming up at all of them.

The guys all smiled and laughed, admiring the patches with a new appreciation.

You surreptitiously slid Steve the small photo of Peggy. Only Bucky saw, grinning over your head at his best friend. Steve looked determinedly away as he placed the photo gently in his pocket, trying and failing to look inconspicuous and not _too_ horribly pleased.

A moment later, the silence was broken by Jacques.

“Quelqu'un sait comment coudre?” _Does anyone know how to sew?_


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky argue about whether or not you should fight. You and the guys take down the base in Czechoslovakia. You get hurt and Bucky’s fears are confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), mentions of smut, violence, blood, [little bit of] gore, guns, death, death by electrocution.
> 
> A/N: I think we might only have one or two more chapters. We’ll see.

[Originally posted by nataliasteves](https://tmblr.co/ZmAUqk2T6Asa0)

By the middle of January 1944 the team had located the Czechoslovakian Hydra base, and planning had begun.

You’d fought Bucky tooth and nail about being part of the ground team. It’d caused a rift in your relationship. You knew where he was coming from. You didn’t want him to be hurt either, after all, but he refused to budge on the matter, obstinate about you staying back for tactical support only.

Eventually Steve came up with a compromise you’d both grudgingly accepted: You’d stay up with Bucky on the sniper’s perch and help him run calculations and go down to help the ground team _only_ if the need arose. Neither one of you was particularly happy about it, but you both agreed in the end.

You’d been icy towards each other in the days that followed, the tension only breaking the night before the mission when Bucky appeared in your room in the middle of the night (he’d been staying with the guys during your fight) and made love to you. It had been a passionate, rough affair that left the both of you marked by each other all over. He held you close that night, not letting you go even after the both of you had fallen asleep.

* * *

**January 20th, 1944 - Hydra Base - Czechoslovakia**

You could hear the explosions and gunfire plain as day, even from half a mile away. You were reclining against a rock, tiny notebook and pencil clutched in hand, gazing at the grey sky.

Bucky was only a few inches away, eerily still as he laid on the ground, gazing through the scope of his rifle. If it wasn’t for the gentle rise and fall of his chest, you could have easily mistaken him for a dead man.

“100 meters north,” he said, startling you out of your daze.

You quickly scribbled an equation down, working the problem out in only a few seconds. You’d gotten quite good at Coriolis problems during your time with Bucky. You were even faster at them than him, now.

“Adjust by a five degree incline, ten degrees to your left,” you said, glancing over your shoulder just in time to see him finish adjusting the angle of his rifle and pull the trigger. The shot was nearly deafening. When the war was over you’d never go near a shooting range ever again.

“Target down,” he said stiffly, fully in his sniper mode. When he was on a mission like this he was focused, nearly all traces of the kind, funny man you knew so well gone.

“Understood. Ready for next calculation.”

Together, the two of you were a precision instrument. Snipers usually had to take the time to calculate their own shots, and, as such, took much longer and couldn’t always get their shot out in time before their target moved. With you working the equation and Bucky’s skills with the rifle itself, your targets didn’t stand a chance.

“Shit.”

 _Uh oh._ “What is it?” you asked, rolling over on your stomach. You smashed your binoculars to your eyes, searching for any problems.

“Reinforcements. They’re flanking Jim and Jacques. They’re in cover and we don’t have time to reposition to help them. Steve and Dum Dum are closest but they’re real busy. James and Gabe are too far away to dispatch their own targets and make it to them in time,” Bucky explained quickly, watching the situation unfold through his scope.

“I’m going.”

Bucky tore his gaze from the fight, eyes stormy with emotion as he stared at you, jaw working as he fought a war in his head. You set your jaw stubbornly. You’d go whether he said you could or not, but you hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Suddenly, he pulled you forward by the front of your black jacket and your lips crashed together. The kiss was short, fierce, passionate, and easily stole your breath.

“Come back to me in one piece,” he said hoarsely after breaking the kiss, face serious.

You grinned at him, though, and pecked him once more on the lips before you stood. “Yes, sir,” you said with a wink and a salute.

He rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “I mean it,” he said, returning to staring down the scope of his rifle.

“Well, protect my pretty ass and we’ll have nothing to worry about,” you said playfully, kicking your boots to life so that his answer would be drowned out. You roared away from him and towards the west side of the compound where you knew Jacques and Jim were fighting.

Bucky was right (he always was when it came to battlefield intelligence, but you’d never tell him that- it’d inflate his ego too much). Jim and Jacques were nearly overwhelmed by the time you arrived. You took out half of the group before they even realized you were there. The moment they realized what was happening, though, startled cries of “Blitzkrieg!” rang out among the Hydra soldiers and all of them turned their fire on you.

“Shit!” you swore, quickly taking cover behind a low half-destroyed cement wall. What the hell kind of reaction was that? Why did they suddenly focus all of their attention on you?

You risked a glance over the wall then quickly ducked back down again as multiple blasts of blue energy sailed over your head.

“Oh Bucky is so gonna kill me…” you muttered. There was no way you were making it out of this one unscathed. You patted your sides down, face falling a moment later. “Why the hell didn’t I pack myself a pistol!? I’m an idiot!” you swore.

_Or, right. Gunpowder and jet engines don’t mix._

“Sur le compte de trois, mon amie! Allez à gauche!” you heard Jacques yell over the din of the energy blasts. _On the count of three, my friend! Go to your left!_

“D’accord, Jacques!”

“Un!” You got low and crouched like a runner.

“Deux!” Your heart beated loudly in your ears. If you weren’t careful or if you got unlucky, you could easily be killed the second you left the cover.

“Trois!” The sound of a rifle being fired in the distance goes off the moment you turned your boots on. Out of the corner of your eye you saw one of your attackers fall, blood blooming on the front his chest.

_Bucky._

Jacques and Jim jumped from cover at the same time, firing on the men who were too focused on you to realize what was going on until it was too late. They, too, fell, blood soaking into the cement and hard soil.

That still left a considerable few left for you.

You grabbed a grenade, armed it, and tossed it into their group, quickly speeding out of range before it goes off.

Suddenly, screams and static filled the air and you determined it was safe to go back into the melee again.

You ran into a small group of them, still blinded by your grenade. You turned your left boot off as you stepped hard with your left foot, planting yourself firmly as your right leg delivered a rocket-powered round house kick to three of them. You ducked forward after them, landing quick successive blows to the other soldiers. You sped away before the last couple could get their bearings, narrowly dodging energy gun blasts.  They, however, were quickly taken out by Jim and Jacques while you distracted them.

You ducked around the corner to Jim and Jacques who looked a bit disheveled but none too worse for the wear. There were still enemies on the field, but nothing like there had been a second ago.

“We’re good here, Princess. Get back to your man; the others might need help,” Jim said, pausing only long enough to tear a guys chest apart with a sub machine gun.

You nodded, all business, and zoomed off again, back to Bucky’s roost.

You’d barely slowed down when he barked that Steve needed help- Dum Dum had gotten a good knock on the head and was down for the count. Steve was getting swarmed.

Your adrenaline spiked again as you raced to the other end of the facility. Every few seconds you head the boom of Bucky’s rifle, even over the noise of your tiny twin engines and the wind in your ears.

“Steve!” you called, tossing a small metal disc to him as you sped into the middle of the battle.

He caught it easily, knowing what he had to do the moment he realized what it was.

You sped past the rest of the soldiers, dodging blasts much easier than earlier because Steve still ranked ahead of you in pure threat level and most of their guns were trained on him. When you got to the last soldier, you placed an identical metal disc to the area between his shoulder blades.

“Down, Now!” you screeched, dropping to the ground and rolling while pressing a button on your glove. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the electrical current pass between the soldiers, lightning running through their chests, current passing between the two metal disks.

Their bodies dropped to the ground a moment later, smoke leaving all of their orifices; they’d been cooked from the inside out.

Steve jogged up to you, giving you a tiny nod of appreciation. “Look lively. There are sure to be more coming.”

You heard yelling from around the corner. “Looks like you’re right about that…” you muttered bitterly, crouching half behind a wall while you watched for people to come around the corner of the building.

You and Steve easily dispatched the first man that came around the corner, but you both flinched at the noise behind you. You both whirl, ready to kill whoever snuck up on you, only to find a dead soldier with only half of the amount of head he was supposed to have.

You both glanced up to where Bucky was hidden, the slight glint of the sight of his rifle the only giveaway of his exact position. Steve gave him a small salute and nod while you blew him a kiss. You knew he’d roll his eyes at that and the thought made you smile.

“Dum Dum’s still unconscious. Let’s get this over with so we can get him some help,” Steve said seriously, chancing a glance around the corner. He pulled back quickly. “Looks like five, could be more if they’re hiding.”

“How far away?”

“Fifty yards max.”

You both glanced at each other, then towards the corner. “Wanna just rush ‘em?”

Steve grimaced. “Bucky’ll kill me.”

“What’s he gonna do? Blow your head off?” you asked, eyebrow raised.

“Quite possibly,” Steve said forlornly

You rolled your eyes. “Bucky wouldn’t hurt you in a million years. More likely he’d shoot me because of how angry he is at how reckless that plan is.” A pause while Steve considered this, then “You got any better plans, Captain Tightpants?”

Steve let out a sigh. “No, not really. You’re out best shock trooper and we won’t have backup from the rest of the team for a while if they’re even half as busy as we are. We should do something before they really get entrenched.”

“Alright, draw their fire for as long as you can and I’ll go around and take ‘em out from behind. Just… don’t get laser blasted out of existence, alright?” you asked, staring nervously up at him.

He nodded his understanding of the plan, even if he didn’t look like he enjoyed the thought of it.

“You go high, I go low?” you asked, glancing at him as the two of you got in position.

Steve nodded, jaw set in determination. “Let’s do this.” He took a deep breath and, with fire in his eyes, ducked around the corner, shield held up defensively. You gave the Hydra agents a second to focus their attention on Steve before you raced out behind him, using his silhouette to hide yourself. Then, about halfway to Steve you raced out behind him, throwing a grenade as you went. There were a few cries of panic before the grenade went off, lighting up the entire area and blinding those immediately nearby. You ducked behind a pillar, punching and electrocuting the soldier standing there with your gloves before he knew what hit him. You didn’t pause, and instead continued onto a sunken walkway that hydra soldiers had taken shelter in. You heard the telltale _thunk whack thud_ of Steve’s shield hitting its mark over and over and smirked, looking absolutely devilish as you sped about the makeshift trench. You pulled the pins on grenades, and gave gentle and deadly electrifying caresses that left your victim frothing and spasming on the ground. By the time you were headed out the other end of the low trench, the explosions on the other side had just started. You weren’t quite fast enough to make it completely out of range of the shock-blast, though, and were catapulted a few feet in the air before you fell heavily onto your hands and knees.

You stood and quickly tried to turn on your shoes, only to find they’d been knocked into non-function by the blast. You cursed, dodging behind some debris as more Hydra soldiers stormed around the corner.

“Fuck oh hell,” you muttered. _What do I even have left?_ You went through a mental checklist. Still enough energy to fry bastards by hand for another hour. _One prototype electromagnetic blast grenade that should disable Hydra guns for a short while (but also risk ruining my suit)… and a knife. Fuck._

“Well, here goes nothing…” you muttered. You flipped the grenade on and threw it as hard as you could towards the center of their group. You saw and felt the shock wave, but it was tiny compared to what you knew the Hydra agents were feeling.

Not wanting to waste any time that bought you, you leapt from cover and sprinted for the closest soldier, knife in your dominant hand, shock glove primed in your off hand.

Even without your boots, you were fast. Mornings and evenings spent running and training with Steve and Bucky had made you way faster than you looked, and twice as deadly.

The soldier quickly realized his laser gun was of no use to him and quickly took up fisticuffs, probably thinking he wouldn’t have any trouble taking down a mostly unarmed woman.

He was wrong. A few choice jabs and kicks to the right places let you get a few slashes in, most importantly and finally to his jugular. He dropped, choking on his own blood, and you moved to the next, then the next, dispatching them all with the precision of a trained hunter. As though you’d been doing this your entire life.

As though you were _born_ to do this.

You shoved your hand over the last man’s face and squeezed. Electricity ran through his temples and fried his head in seconds.

A hand on your shoulder made you wheel around, outstretched hand only stopping an inch from Steve’s face.

He looked as shocked as you did and you quickly stood up straighter, hand falling to your side.

Steve stared down at you in concern and you shifted under his gaze. “Sorry, you snuck up on me. Thought you were Hydra,” you said apologetically, glancing up at him.

He was still studying you closely, but nodded after a moment, and returned his attention to Dum Dum now that the field was clear.

“He alright?” you asked, eyeing Dum Dum worriedly.

“He’ll be fine. Might have a nasty lump for a day or two, though,” Steve said with a grimace.

“Steve! (Y/N)!” you both glanced at the source of the noise and were relieved to find Gabe and James.

“All clear on your end?” Steve asked, looking approving.

“Our building’s clear, along with the surrounding area,” James said, giving Steve a nod.

“How’re Jim and Jacques?” Gabe asked, looking around the clearing for them.

“I don’t know, how _are_ Jim and Jacques?” Jim asked as he hobbled around the corner.

“Ils sont blessés, fatigués et affamés,” Jacques said, frowning. _They’re hurt, tired, and hungry._

You grinned over at them, your earlier actions fading quickly from your mind with the distraction of your friends. In fact, you were feeling a bit light-headed. Maybe it was the adrenaline high wearing off?

“(Y/N)… (Y/N), you’re bleeding!” someone to your right said.

But you couldn’t turn your head to look and see who it was… because everything went black very, very quickly.

* * *

You awoke slowly, eyes blinking hard against the bright lights above you. You tried to move your arms but they were as heavy as lead. Instead, you tilted your head to the side, a smile appearing on your lips as you beheld Bucky sitting beside your bed, one hand’s fingers laced together with yours. He was dozing in the chair, head thrown back and book forgotten on his thigh.

“Hey, stranger,” you croaked, instantly rousing him from his sleep. His eyes glanced around the room for a half second before landing on you, ten different emotions flooding his face at once.

He quickly went from delighted to angry.

You knew that’s what would happen.

“Babydoll, I’m _so_ glad you’re safe, but that was the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been friends with Steve for nearly my whole life now, and he makes stupid decisions on the daily,” he said, glaring down at you. You chuckled but it quickly turned into a cough because of your bone dry throat. Bucky hastily picked up the glass of water on the beside table and brought it to your lips. You took a few grateful gulps and he lowered it again, sensing you were done.

“What happened to me?” you asked, straining to remember exactly what you’d done to land you in the hospital.

Bucky sighed and looked like he’d swallowed a sour lemon as he leaned back in the chair pensively. “Got quite a few slashes and cuts where your suit didn’t protect you. Some even got through the material. You didn’t notice and blacked out from blood loss. We rushed you to the hospital.

You were so high on pain meds you didn’t even feel anything… and the thought made you _laugh_. “And after I’d promised to come back in one piece, too!” you chuckled, making the crease on his forehead deepen in to a scowl.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing. You could have been killed, you know. That was a stupid stunt you and Steve pulled and it’s only because I know it was your stubborn ass’s idea that Steve’s not black and blue right now,” Bucky said angrily.

You ignored his angry words and threw your arms around his shoulders, reaching out over the gap between your bed and the chair to do so.

“What are you doing?” he grumped, but you knew his tone well enough by now to know he was fighting back a smile.

“Being thankful that I get to hold my best guy again,” you said sweetly, placing a kiss to his hair.

He let out a defeated huff and stood, picking you up carefully so that he could sit on your bed and place you gently on his lap. “You’re making it real hard to stay mad at you,” he muttered as you placed kisses to different places on his face.

You grinned against his skin, moving down to his jaw and then to his neck, where you sucked a love bite into his skin. He let out a breathy sigh and you knew he was putty in your hands. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” you said wickedly, giving his neck a long lick.

He groaned, out of both annoyance and pleasure. “I’m not done yelling at you,” he muttered, large hands rubbing comforting circles into your back.

Your lips stilled against his skin and you rested your forehead on his shoulder.

Then, it all hit you. You nearly died. You’d come close so many times in that fight that probability-wise alone you should have been dead right then. You killed dozens of men. Fried their bodies from the inside out. You watched as your light flooded their bodies and chased out the light in their eyes. And you were good at it. And you _liked it_. You liked being able to do that to other people. It meant everything to you; Protecting your friends. Your country. Your family. Your. And doing what the great Captain America was too good to do.

You sobbed into Bucky’s chest and he rocked you gently, murmuring comforting words into your ear and clutching you closely to his chest.

“It’s alright, Doll. You’re alright. You’re safe. I gotcha… It’s okay,”

The two of you fell asleep on your bed, with you tucked carefully up against Bucky. The nurses hadn’t been too happy about it, but a few words from Bucky and they were good as charmed, allowing him to stay as long as he wanted.

* * *

Considering the extent of your injuries, you healed pretty quickly. You were out only a few days after being admitted.

“Good thing I’m still young, eh?” you asked Bucky with a wink as you left the hospital and got a cab back to home base. He rolled his eyes and clutched you to his chest.

“Your scars from earlier healed up pretty nice, too,” Bucky commented, thinking back to November.

You shrugged. “S’pose I was lucky enough to have a lot of time off to recover.”

Bucky thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, you’re right.” You looked up at him but when he realized you were staring he grinned widely and pulled you to his chest. His lips ghosted over the shell of your ear and his low sultry voice sent a shiver straight down your spine and a wave of heat straight to your core. “We have a lot of time off and I plan to make the most of it, Doll.”

You gulped and nodded at that voice, so full of promises. “Wouldn’t expect any less, Sarge.”

[Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh](https://tmblr.co/Zj1kBx24ZneaD)

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first months of 1944 pass by easily. You, Bucky, Steve, and the guys spend a lot of time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always)
> 
> A/N: This chapter is a bunch of snippets of things that happened throughout the beginning of 1944.

[Originally posted by ariesw1493](https://tmblr.co/Zd8kLj27YKyrY)

**Czechoslovakia - January 1944 ~~~~~~~~**

The next stop was to France, but you didn’t leave Czechoslovakia without celebrating. Dum Dum would _never_ let that happen.

So that was how you found yourself, newly released from the hospital and drunk off your ass in a small bar in Czechoslovakia.

Luckily people were amused by your antics. The funny American girl was dancing and singing merrily and the men around her joined in her revels, some with their voice, others (more horribly) with their bodies.

“And god, _that song_. I heard that song so many times that I kind of want to vomit whenever I hear it now!” you lamented to Jim, who looked amused and, also, distinctly smashed.

“What, you mean the song they sang during Steve’s publicity tours?” he asked with a hiccup.

At Steve’s name, both Bucky and Steve (the only sober ones) turned their attention to the two of you.

“ _Yes_ , that monstrous excuse for music,” you hissed, scowl heavy on your brow as it played through your head again for the millionth time.

Steve let out a long sigh, looking a little bashful. “C’mon, (Y/N). The girls worked hard on that routine,” he said, even though he hated the damn a bit, thing, too.

“Oh please. I had that routine memorized in a day,” you scoffed, taking another swig of alcohol from your glass.

Steve rolled his eyes. “No you didn’t. You didn’t even watch rehearsals.”

“Oh really?” you asked as you stood suddenly, glaring down at Steve. Bucky, who had been watching silently up until that point, raised his eyebrows in trepidation. He knew that tone.

“Doll…” he murmured, eyeing you warily. You were as likely to kiss him as punch himm just then.

“Well… you didn’t…” Steve said sheepishly, hands up just a little to fend you off if need be.

“Yeah, well… I’ll prove it,” you said petulantly, and began swaying your way towards the pianist in the corner.

Between your broken Czech and his broken German, it wasn’t an easy conversation.

 _“Fella, play Captain America?”_ you asked in a thick accent, words slurring together dangerously.

“ _What?_ ” he asked, clearly confused.

You hummed a few bars of the song. _“Captain America. Star Stripe Fella by a Plan,”_ you said, reaching hard for the words you needed. Being drunk didn’t help. You were sure at least a few of those words were wrong.

After hearing the tune, though, his face lit up and he nodded eagerly. _“Good song. Popular,”_ he said in halted German.

You simply smiled, though you were screaming on the inside. _Why does everyone like this stupid song?_

Your outfit wasn’t nearly risque as the girls’, but you figured it wouldn’t matter much. You gave the bar counter a hard slap and, realizing it wasn’t about to give way, you hopped up on top of it, wobbling a bit as you got used to the new position.

The bartender looked a little miffed, but you didn’t care.

Steve and Bucky were watching you warily, though the rest of the guys were just cheering you on, drunk and as happy as could be. Both of them looked ready to catch you at a moment’s notice if the alcohol in your system took over, though.

One wink to the pianist was all the signal he needed, and suddenly the song was playing out in the dingy bar.

You snapped to attention and began the marching that apparently counted as dancing. Right on queue, your voice rang out loud and clear, though no amount of glaring at Steve made him join you in the parts where he was supposed to talk.

“Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American Way?

Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day?

Who will campaign door-to-door for America,

Carry the flag shore to shore for America,

From Hoboken to Spokane,

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!”

Nearly all the patrons in the bar had turned their attention on you; they were all coming up to the bar counter to watch, many of them cheering or singing along in broken English. You danced directly in front of Steve and Bucky, smile murderous as you tried to wordlessly pressure him into singing. You must have been terrifying because he finally chimed in and you smirked in victory.

“We can’t ignore there’s a threat and a war we must win,

Who’ll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?

Who will redeem, head the call for America,

Who’ll rise or fall, give his all for America,

Who’s here to prove that we can?

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!”

You and Steve sang together, but then the song went to a bridge and you took the opportunity to change your stage. You held your arms out imperiously and both Steve and Bucky got the hint; each grabbed an arm and lowered you gracefully to the floor. There was a bit of a dance during the dogfight and you grabbed Bucky by the arm and showed him the simple two-step for this part and he danced it with you, wide grin on his face as he did so. Steve looked absolutely wretched as the rest of the guys cackled and the patrons sang along.

“Stalwart and steady and true,

(see how this guy can shoot, we tell ya, there’s no substitute!)

Forceful and ready to defend the

Red, White, and Blue!

Who’ll give the Axis the sack, and is smart as a fox?

(far as an eagle will soar)

Who’s making Adolph afraid to step out of his box?

(He knows what we’re fighting for!)

Who waked the giant that napped in America?

We know it’s no-one but Captain America,

Who’ll finish what they began?

Who’ll kick the Krauts to Japan?

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!

(Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?!)”

You both finished on a literal high note, and by the end you were gasping for air and trying hard not to laugh your ass off. The entire pub erupted in cheers and laughs, nearly all of the men there suddenly realizing who exactly was in their pub. Steve looked sheepish at all the new attention, but you’d done what you came to do. Prove Steve wrong. 

_Man did that feel good. That should wipe that satisfied little smile off his face for a while._

You made your way back to your seat next to Bucky, not noticing the way his eyes followed you the whole time.

You chugged down his entire glass of water and only realized as you emptied the glass that you should probably have asked first. “Sorry, Sugar…” you said sheepishly, sliding him the empty glass.

He only stared at you, though, eyes burning with lust that you just noticed. You gulped, feeling pinned by his gaze all of a sudden. “B-buck?” you asked, writhing a bit on your seat. He leaned forward in his chair and enclosed you slowly in his arms. His lips ghosted over your cheek and to your ear. When he spoke, his hot breath tickled your ear.

“You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” he murmured, placing a light kiss to the shell of your ear that had you shivering.

You could feel him smile against your skin and you let out a sigh of contentedness. “You liked that, huh?” you whispered breathlessly.

He nipped playfully at your ear and you let out a gasp of surprise. “Want me to take you back to our room and show you how much I liked it?”

You sprang up from your seat, nearly knocking heads with Bucky in the process. “We’re heading out first, guys!” you said as you grabbed Bucky’s hand and dragged him to the exit. The guys gave drunken, exuberant goodbyes, and even some of the other patrons said goodbye to you, too.

The walk back to the house you were staying in took twice as long as normal because you and Bucky couldn’t stop kissing.

Bucky somehow found a costume like the ones the girls wore. You and Bucky both enjoyed yourselves whenever you wore it (too much, according to your poor housemates).

* * *

 

**France - February 1944 ———————-  
**

[Originally posted by czechthecount](https://tmblr.co/ZUagGr2IZyNtb)

 

> _Dear Peggy,_  
>  Bucky and I finished the new bike! Model V4LR! Bucky nicknamed it Valor. It goes almost double the speed of Patriot and it’s about half as fast again as Moxie! It’s a really beautiful machine. If Moxie’s meant to hide, Valor’s meant to run. Sergeant Barnes looks… quite fetching astride it.  
>  I regret to inform you that the task you assigned me- of keeping Steve from doing really stupid things- is completely impossible. I won’t even pretend to have the ability to keep that man in check.  
>  I clipped a photo of him to the back of this letter. There are a few of Me and the rest of the guys, too, but I made sure to put one of just Steve in there for you.  
>  The guys loved the patches, by the way. Steve and Bucky taught the guys how to sew and they all sewed their own patch on… don’t tell them but I went back and redid the ones that looked like they’d just fall off the moment something touched it. But bless them, they tried.  
>  I hope my gift for you cleared customs (it’s always a toss up when it comes to guns, eh?). I think it should have, but let me know if it didn’t so I can make you another.  
>  Bucky and I are… we’re doing well. He still hates when I’m out on the ground team, especially after I took a few knives to the abdomen (I told you about that, right? Well, either way, I’m fine now), but he gets why I want to be out there, rather than stuck back at the house or in my lab.  
>  Well, I’m sure I’ve taken enough of your time, Pegs. Wishing you the best!
> 
> _Sincerely,  
>  (Y/N) (Y/L/N)_

* * *

 

> _Dear Howard,_  
>  Stop taking peeks at Peggy’s letter. She’ll know if you read it and then I’ll know and you’ll suddenly find yourself between two very cross women.  
>  And not in the way I know you like.  
>  I’ve attached a few weapon designs and fixed the ones you sent me. Your work is so sloppy sometimes, you know that? I improved the efficiency and reliability in all of your designs by at least 37% and I only spent about five minutes on each.  
>  Its your car again, isn’t it? You’re too distracted by the damn thing to work on inventions that will actually help win this war, right? Your aide, Austin, isn’t stopping you, I bet. Bastard never did have a spine.  
>  **Do your own work,** **Howard**.  
>  If you rearrange my lab while I’m gone, I’m going to kill you.  
>  I mean it.  
>    
>  Sincerely,  
>  (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

* * *

 

> _Dear Peggy,_  
>  (Y/N) gave me this address for you. I hope it’s still good. I got your picture. I’m keeping it close. ~~It’s a very beautiful photo. of you. It’s a very- You’re very-~~  
>  It gives me strength and something to look forward to when this is all over.  
>  ~~I’m still really sorry about- I wish I hadn’t- It wasn’t-~~  
>  (Y/N) and Bucky are doing well. I wish you were here so you could tell me if (Y/N) is as happy as Bucky is. I can tell he’s over the moon; he hasn’t been this happy in a long time.  
>  It’s weird, though. They go from acting like a newlywed couple to a bickering old pair of geezers in a minute. If I hear (Y/N) yelling about Bucky leaving his drawers around one more time I think I’ll be forced to find another place to live.  
>  I know you’re kept busy on missions, but if you ever get some time off, or if we’re in the same area, I’d really like to take you out dancing.
> 
> _Sincerely,  
>  Steven Grant Rogers_

* * *

 

> _Dear Ma and Pa,_  
>  Me and Stevie are doing alright. We’re keeping each other safe as best we can, like always. We’re doing a lot of good out here, Ma, Pa. And we’re doing it quick, too. May even be home in time for Christmas this year, if we’re lucky.  
>  Did cousin Eleanore have her baby yet? I was pretty sure it was due around now.  
>  I’ve been meaning to tell you. I met the swellest dame out here. Her name’s (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She’s American. From New York, actually. She hasn’t admitted which borough she’s from, so it must be Queens. But hey, nobody’s perfect. She’s pretty close, though. She was part of the SSR and worked with Howard Stark himself. And Abraham Erskine; The scientist that made Steve big. I actually got to meet Howard because of her. I got him to sign his book. Don’t tell Becca about it yet. It’s her birthday present.  
>  Right, back to my girl. If possible… I’d like to bring her with me next time I come home. If she wants to come, that is. I haven’t asked. I just wanted to make sure it was alright first. She really means a lot to me and I’d really like your support on this one.  
>  Anyway, tell Becca I love her. We’re going to be in Paris for a while so if you get a letter back to me soon I can pick her up something nice while I’m here. You’d be surprised what people sell, even in the middle of a war.  
>  Oh, and Steve asked if you could visit his parents’ graves and make sure everything’s right with them.
> 
> _All my love.  
>  Your son,  
>  James Buchanan Barnes_

* * *

You were sitting on the couch with Bucky, tinkering away on a new invention while Bucky read your veritable dissertation on new engine styles, when Steve walked in the house. He’d clearly been out running in the middle of the day, as he was covered in sweat. Both your and Bucky’s gazes snapped to him as he made past the living room (and you and Bucky), giving the two of you only a cursory nod as he made his way to the bathroom, shirt plastered to his sweaty skin.

You both watched him walk around the corner, neither one of you able to stop your wandering eyes; his butt just seemed to pull you in.

But then Steve was around the corner and out of your and Bucky’s predatory gaze.

“Do you think he realizes what he does?” you asked offhandedly, staring at the space Steve had just disappeared into. 

Bucky let out an indignant snort. “Punk’s walking around like he’s still that little 90 pound asthmatic. He has no idea what all he’s got now,” Bucky said, giving the doorway a flat stare.

You turned ever so slowly to face him and he went so still you could have sworn he’d turned to stone.

You simply stared at him, face unreadable.

He stared at the wooden floorboards like they held all the answers to the universe.

Realizing he wasn’t going to say anything to deny your words, you broke into a huge, smug grin. “I knew it.”

Bucky’s head whipped around to look at you so quickly you were sure he’d given give himself whiplash. “What?”

“I totally called it!” you said, dissolving into giggles.

“(Y/N)!” Bucky panicked, trying hard to shush you and failing because you kept wiggling out of his grasp. “I dunno what you’re going on about, Doll…” he murmured, suddenly looking upset.

You stopped laughing and sat up suddenly, surprising him when you took his head between your hands. “Bucky.”

His eyes, which had been trained on the hideous fabric of the couch, suddenly glanced up at you. They were watery and the sight nearly broke your heart.

You clutched his head to your chest and ran your fingers through his short brown hair. “I don’t care, Buck. I’ve suspected it for months. Before we agreed to date, even. Please… trust me, Bucky. I love you. _All of you_.”

Your eyes widened a moment later when you realized what you’d said at the end there. Your hands froze in his hair and you stopped breathing. Even with blood pounding in your ears you could hear his breathing had stopped, too.

Ever so slowly he pulled his head from your chest, steel blue eyes trapping your gaze to his. Wonderment danced in those blue orbs, all traces of his earlier fear and hesitation gone.

“Did you mean that?” Bucky asked, grin wide.

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks and you nodded. “If you don’t wanna say it back yet that’s-”

Your words were cut off as he smashed his lips to yours. Your arms went around each other and he pulled you onto his lap. With a squeak and a startled yelp the two of you rolled onto the ground, Bucky’s arms shielding you from harm (except for his own body, which landed not-so-gracefully on top of you).

Your breath left you in a whoosh and Bucky quickly got up off of you, babbling apologies as you sucked in a deep breath.

“I just- I love you too, Doll,” he said, beaming widely down at you.

“Say it again, Sarge.”

“I’ll say it as many times as you want, Sugar. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” he murmured, placing a tender kiss to your lips and face with each utterance.

You giggled and captured his lips with your own. “I love you too, you big dumb dork.”

“ _Hey_!”

* * *

**France - March 10th, 1944 ———–**

You were sneaky. Careful. Calculative. You were sure Bucky had no idea what his birthday present was.

The gifts from the guys were about as expected. Knives. Guns. A new canteen. Only Steve’s gift was a little more personal; a drawing of You, Steve, and Bucky together. Bucky grinned like a sap and you gave all of the guys a _“I dare you to say something”_ stare that had them all clamming up, not willing to risk your wrath. Even Jim.

“Where’s my present, Doll?” Bucky asked with a toothy grin, laying the charm on way thicker than he needed to.

“You said you didn’t want one, remember?” you asked with an equally devious grin.

“I don’t think I ever said that,” Bucky said with a playful frown, looking way too cute and flirtatious to be legal.

“Well, you heard me, boys! Gift unwrapping is over, but I know he bought all of you your own personal fifths of whiskey. Something about being the best guys a punk could ask for?”

“That’s _not_ what I said, Doll,” he said with an amused smile.

“It’s _basically_ what you said,” you said with an innocent smile.

Regardless, though, the guys all eagerly skedaddled to the kitchen.

As soon as they were out of sight you reached into the couch cushion where you’d hid his gift; In plain sight so he wouldn’t find it unless he sat on that specific cushion. You found out early on that Bucky Barnes was a horrible snoop when it came to gifts meant for him.

When he laid eyes on the tiny box with a familiar shape he froze.

“Alright don’t freak out,” you said quickly, noting how still he’d gone.

He relaxed almost imperceptibly, only to freeze again when you opened the tiny velvet box and revealed its precious cargo.

There, polished to a mirror shine, was a simple gold band that glinted even in the low light.

When Bucky took it gently from the cushion and studied it closely, he felt his breath hitch as he read the engraving on the inner band.

_For my love. My Bucky. -(Your Initials)_

It was simple, but it was everything.

“Is… is this solid gold?” he asked, eyeing the ring with something like awe.

You nodded. “24 karat.”

Bucky suddenly held the ring like it was some sort of Faberge egg. “Why… why’d you spend that kind of money on a jerk like me?” Bucky asked with a shy smile, looking so happy and so sheepish at the same time.

“Your smile would dim anything of lower quality too much,” you said with a grin.

Bucky laughed and hugged you to his chest. “That was a terrible line, Doll,” he said breathlessly.

You laughed back and wrapped your arms around his waist. “I dunno… don’ think it was _that_ bad…” you muttered. “… Can I put it on you?” you asked hopefully.

He let you go and leaned back, holding the ring out for you to take.

You took it cheerfully, admiring the warm weight of it in your hand. He held his right hand out and you lightly slipped the gold band onto his ring finger. It was a perfect fit, just like you knew it would be.

You both stared at the gold band on his finger, his hand wrapped around yours. The implications made both of your heads spin. Finally, you tore your gaze from the shining metal and leaned in to whisper into his ear.

“I’m wearing the _other half_ of your gift,” you murmured seductively; you were rewarded with a low groan.

“You’re the best girl I guy could ask for, Doll. Now, let me thank you,” he said with a wink. You felt your pace pick up when he gathered you in his arms and hauled you off the couch, placing open-mouthed kisses to your skin.

Whatever you and Bucky were doing had the other guys clearing out of the house quicker than if it were on fire.

When you fell asleep that night, the last thing you muttered to Bucky was “Happy Birthday, Buck. Love you.”

He simply pulled you to his chest with a murmured “Love you too,” and you both fell asleep a moment later.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April - September, 1944. Summer and the beginning of Fall pass by in a blur, but you give Steve a gift you know he’ll love. A surprise from Bucky turns your world on its head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), sexual themes/mentions of smut
> 
> A/N: This chapter is a bunch of snippets of things that happened in the middle of 1944.
> 
> You guys can try and guess which Commando said which toast. I didn’t specify but I definitely have headcanons for who said which. Jacques spoke his in English. It’s one of the few things in English he knows how to say.

[Originally posted by littlemisssyreid](https://tmblr.co/ZU_u7q24hjFI7)

**France - April 1944**

By mid April you had an idea of where the Hydra base was. Once late April rolled around, the location had been confirmed and a plan had been made. In the time between this mission and the last one you’d made tiny communication devices that could be carried on one’s person but also had a long signal range. It meant you and the guys could communicate with each other… unless there was some very thick cement or stone between you.

Being able to keep in constant radio contact with you was the thing that made Bucky begrudgingly agree to have you be part of the ground team for the France Base.

France never stood a chance. By the time May rolled around the base was wiped completely off the map and you had every piece of tech coming out of the base analyzed and send to Phillips and Stark back in London.

Before you knew it, it was back to Italy.

**Italy - May 1944**

You and the guys arrived in Italy in the middle of May. It was getting warmer, now. Spring was in the air and the plants were all slowly coming back to life. Italy was beautiful, but you were staying too close for comfort to the base you and the guys had originally been kept in (even though it was a frosty pile of rubble now). As far as you were concerned, being on the same continent was too close to that base and its memories.

You clung to Bucky every night, the nightmares fresher now that you were closer to their source. Now that the weather was similar to what it was back then. Now that the horizon looked familiar again.

It seems like you weren’t the only one who had Italy ruined for you. Everyone but Steve seemed a little on edge in the two month period you spent there, none of you relaxing until you made your way into the heart of Germany (ironic, right?) in search of the last two bases.

* * *

It was the last day in Italy when Bucky bought it, knowing that he wouldn’t be around another shop that sold them again until they were out of Germany. He smiled down at it, fondness for it growing the longer he owned it. He slipped it in his pocket, wanting to hide it away until the exact right moment.

**Italy - July 4th, 1944 ——–**

It was the last day in Italy and also Steve’s Birthday. Most of the team’s things were already packed away.

In fact, the majority of what stayed out was the alcohol. Steve couldn’t get drunk, but he was still having a great time.

You were belting out folk songs with Jim when Bucky cleared his throat for attention. Gabe, who had been playing the piano with surprising dexterity considering how many drinks he’d had, stopped playing and a sudden hush fell over the group.

“I’d like to open the floor up for toasts,” Bucky said dramatically with a flourish of his hands. There was a loud cheer from everyone, including you, glasses raised in the air in agreement. “I’ll start us off,” Bucky said as he stood and made his way imperiously over to Steve. He clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder and raised his glass, the rest of you mimicking the motion.

“May you…  
Work like you don’t need the money,  
Love like you’ve never been hurt,  
Dance like no-one is watching,  
Screw like it’s being filmed,  
And drink like a true Irishman!” 

He finished the last line at a yell and the rest of you were so drunk at that point you all simply cheered along before taking generous swigs of your drinks.

“Happy 26th, Punk,” Bucky said with a smile as he slapped Steve jovially on the back. Steve had gone a beautiful shade of red at Bucky’s toast, but still smiled happily anyway.

Suddenly, you were all taking turns making toasts. Not all of them were strictly to Steve’s health, but with how far gone you all were, it was a miracle even some of them were.

“Here’s to a long life and a happy one.  
A quick death and an easy one.  
A pretty girl and an honest one.  
A cold beer and another one!”

“Here’s to birthdays.   
Birthdays only come once a year.   
Aren’t we glad we’re not birthdays!”

“Here’s to those who wish you well; all the rest can go to hell!”

“There are good ships,  
and there are wood ships,  
The ships that sail the sea.  
But the best ships, are friendships,  
And may they always be!“

“May neighbors respect you,  
Trouble neglect you,  
The angels protect you,  
And heaven accept you.”

You were giggling happily and didn’t immediately realize everyone was looking at you expectantly.

“Oh. Uhm…” you thought about it for a moment before holding up your mostly-empty glass. “May you live as long as you like, and have all you like as long as you live!” you said with a wink as you downed the last of your drink.

Steve smiled fondly at you from the other side of the table and downed the last of his drink.

 _“Happy Birthday,”_ you mouthed, not trusting your tongue to form the words.

Steve smiled as Bucky threw an arm over his shoulder and gave him a tight side-hug, the brunette not even pausing his conversation with Gabe as he did so. _“Thank you,”_ he mouthed, big smile on his face.

* * *

You all left a few days later, straight into the heart of Germany. You’d wanted to go back to London to visit Peggy and Howard, but new intelligence said that Hydra was moving fast and that your task force should head to Germany asap.

So, you headed to Germany asap.

* * *

**North-Eastern Germany - Early August, 1944 ——–**

 

> Dear (Y/N),  
>  Phillips told me you’d be moving to Germany soon. I hope this package finds you on the front. Enclosed are your Christmas gifts and Steve’s Birthday gift. I apologize for their tardiness. I’ve been kept quite busy.
> 
> They produced the bear and the doll shortly after news about you and the team hit the papers. The Bucky Bear and Lady Liberty Doll were a huge hit overseas. Apparently being best friends with Captain America appealed to both little boys and girls alike.  
>  Yes, you read that right. The doll of you is called Lady Liberty. Apparently “Blitzkrieg” didn’t sit well with their test group. Can’t ever imagine why.  
>  They still included a second outfit, though- your combat suit. The default outfit is a ghastly pink frilly number I know you’d never be caught dead in.  
>  I don’t understand the way their minds work, ~~sometimes~~ ever.  
>  We’re getting closer every day to finding that Hydra base.
> 
> At least, that’s what I like to tell myself… But every agent we catch kills himself before we can interrogate him. It’s getting to be very frustrating. I hope you’re having better luck than Howard, Phillips and me.  
>  I won’t give up, and neither will anyone else working to take down Hydra. Keep yourself safe. I better not hear about you getting stabbed again. I’ll be quite cross if I do.
> 
> Good luck with your Sergeant Barnes. I would offer to make him disappear if he did anything to hurt you, but I know you’re more than capable of that on your own. Still, I hope it won’t come to that.
> 
> Love,  
>  Peggy.
> 
> P.S. _The thing_ is attached to the back of this letter. Howard had to call in a few favors, too, so be sure to thank him as well.

You finished reading the letter, huge smile on your face. Steve and Bucky sat on the couch next to you, both of them trying and failing to not look too interested in Peggy’s letter and the box on your lap.

You flipped the page over. Sure enough, there was the deed to the apartment building Steve and Bucky had been living in up until they both shipped off to war.

You carefully separated it from Peggy’s letter and turned to face Steve, pulling one of your legs up on the couch as you did so.

“Is that it?” Bucky asked in an amused whisper as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.

“Yup.”

“Is that what?” Steve asked, eyeing the paper warily. He went pink. “Please don’t tell me you’re-”

“Not pregnant, Steve,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

“Not for lack of opportunities…” Bucky muttered coyly.

 _“Bucky,”_ you said chastisingly, fighting back a grin. Steve went an even deeper pink and you felt Bucky’s chest shake with silent laughter.

“Sorry, sorry. Go on. Give the punk his belated birthday gift from you and Peggy,” he said, placing a kiss to the back of your head.

“And Howard. He called in some favors. Apparently it was run by the cartel,” you said, mind spinning at that thought.

“Fine, and Howard,” Bucky said grumpily.

“Cartel? Can you please just tell me what’s going on?” Steve asked, exasperated.

You held the piece of paper out to him, huge smile on your face. “Happy Birthday, Stevie. Sorry it took so long to get this all in order.”

Steve raised an eyebrow but took the paper gently from your hands, opening it slowly as though you’d booby-trapped it or something. Eventually, though, he got it open and started reading. About three lines into the document he looked up at you, face incredulous. “Is- is this- did you-”

You nodded eagerly, eyes watering at the emotion in his eyes.

He glanced down at the paper again. This time, it was like his eyes devoured each word. Finally, he got to the end of the document, reading the last line out loud.

“For the price listed above, I’ve transferred ownership of my building- 1847 Troy Ave, Fairside Apartments. New York, New York- to one Steven Grant Rogers…”

There was a bit more legal gibberish about who would take care of it until you all got back, but Steve stopped there, raising his eyes to look at you and Bucky.

“You… you, Peggy, and Howard got me… an entire apartment complex?” Steve asked, looking down at the paper as though it had changed in the time he hadn’t been looking at it and it might now read _“haha gotcha, punk. It was all a joke.”_

But nothing had changed, because that paper was the real deal.

Bucky smiled and laughed. “I told (Y/N) she shouldn’t have gotten you that shithole, but she was insistent. She- oof” you elbowed him in the ribs and put on an innocent smile.

“Peggy and I thought you might like having a place to yourself. Really, legitimately to yourself. I know it’s not a nice house in the suburbs but you know the people there. You don’t have to pay rent ever again. Hell, they don’t technically have to, either, if you wanted it that way. And I know you two; you’d never leave Brooklyn… even if it isn’t the greatest Borough in the Big Apple.”

“I beg your pardon, missy?” Bucky asked, playful and dangerous, from behind you.

“Brooklyn _is_ the best borough in New York, for your information,” Steve said obstinately, crossing his arms.

“Hey, isn’t it enough that I love New York just as much as you two?” you asked quickly, suddenly feeling very trapped between two very large men.

“It’s the only reason you’re not sleeping on the couch tonight, actually,” Bucky said, arms vice-like around your waist. You were trapped and suddenly knew you were in trouble.

“Excuse me?” you asked with a smile, turning to glare playfully at him.

“You heard me. Hey, Stevie, I think she might need to be taught a lesson,” Bucky said, looking over your head at Steve, who smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Hey… hey wait, now. I didn’t mean-”

“Too late, Doll!” Bucky said, fingers diving to your side while Steve’s hands flew to your ankles so you couldn’t kick yourself out of the tickle-punishment.

You burst out laughing, Bucky knowing exactly all of your ticklish spots because of all of your intimate moments together. Steve was laughing hard at the entire situation and even Bucky was chuckling along.

“Say Brooklyn’s the best borough and I’ll stop!” he taunted, fingers not letting up for more than a second.

Your eyes were watering as you laughed and writhed, trying to get away from Bucky’s touch. “Never!” you yelled stubbornly.

But less than a minute later you caved, chest heaving as you cried and laughed. “Fine, fine! I give!”

Bucky’s fingers stilled, but still stayed pressed against your skin, ready to start up again at a moment’s notice. “Let’s hear it, then,” Bucky said with a smug grin.

“Brooklyn’s the best borough in New York,” you said, your statement punctuated by you sticking your tongue out at them at the end.

Bucky smiled and let you up, but he rolled his eyes at your childish gesture. “What are you, eight?”

“Says the man who just had a tickle fight with the girl he likes,” you said, glaring over your shoulder at him.

He only shrugged and smiled. “Point taken,” he said cheerfully, arms going back around you again. “What else’s in the box?” he asked, tilting his head to where it now rested on the ground.

“Oh! Right!” You wiggled out of his grasp and pulled it onto your lap. “Turns out we’re popular back home, too, Buck. Not our own movies and comic books popular buuut…” You carefully pulled the doll and the bear out and held them up for Bucky to see.

“What… what the hell is it wearing?” Bucky asked as he took the bear from you.

“It’s your uniform, silly.”

“No, it’s really not,” Bucky said, glaring down at the little stuffed animal.

You glanced at it again, slight frown on your lips. “Well I s’pose you _do_ wear your underwear where you’re supposed to… the little black mask is cute, though. Makes little bear you look all mysterious,” you said, smiling at the bear fondly.

“I’d never wear colors that bright,” Bucky said petulantly as his fingers glided over the rough fabric of the little bright blue and red coat and pants the bear was wearing.

“Well you do wear a dark navy blue pea coat and red pants,” Steve said, eyeing the bear and doll thoughtfully.

“They’re not red. I’m a sniper. I’d never wear bright red on the battlefield,” Bucky said, sounding almost a bit offended now.

“Fine. Burgundy. Puce. Maroon. Wine. Dark Red. Whatever you wanna call it. It’s still a shade of red. At least they didn’t put you in _this_ ,” you said with clear annoyance, holding out the Lady Liberty Doll… which was indeed wearing a truly god awful lacy pink dress with at least ten too many frills.

Steve and Bucky both glanced at it, then at you, then back at it before bursting into laughter.

“ _Oi_ ,” you growled, offended at their reactions.

“Sorry, sorry Doll. I just tried to imagine you in that dress,” Bucky said, cackling.

“Hey! I can dress up nice, just like other girls…” you said, a little hurt at their reactions.

Bucky sobered instantly, pulling you into his arms, Bucky Bear forgotten behind him. “That’s not what I meant, Sugar. That dress is just awful, is all. And hey, I know you can dress up better ‘n the rest of ‘em, but I like you no matter what you’re wearing,” Bucky said quickly, placing a kiss to the crown of your head.

His words chased those swirling dark thoughts away in an instant and you smiled, relaxing into his arms. “I like you best with nothing on, though,” he murmured into your ear.

“ _Bucky!_ You lech!” you said with a grin, smacking his arm while you both dissolved into laughter. Judging from the pink dusting Steve’s cheeks, he’d heard that, too.

“I’ll, uh, take that as my cue to leave,” Steve said awkwardly as he quickly vacated the couch.

“Wait! Steve!” you said, sitting up a bit straighter, waving your arms in his direction.

He stopped, startled, and turned to look at you.

“I was wondering-” Bucky cleared his throat loudly and you started again “ _We_ were wondering if… if you’d save us an apartment next to you in that fancy new building of yours.”

Steve’s smile could have lit New York’s skyline for years. “Yeah, yeah I think that could be arranged,” he said, giving the both of you one last smile before he disappeared around the corner and into the kitchen.

“I think we made him happy,” you said, glancing up through your lashes at Bucky.

“I think you just somehow turned a gift for our best friend into free rent for life,” Bucky said, eyeing you shrewdly.

You ignored his hawk-like gaze and began switching out the outfits on the Lady Liberty Doll. Really, minus the horrendous dress, they’d done a great job at capturing your general likeness. To be an inspiration to many young girls… that was a bit humbling.

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about…” you said innocently, giving Bucky a winning smile.

“Uh huh. Sure.”

You paused, fingers ghosting over the doll’s hair. You raised your free hand after a second and made a grabbing motion that Bucky had long learned to translate into entire requests. In this case: _“Please let me see your Bucky Bear.”_

He handed it to you after he fished it out from behind the couch’s pillow and you placed the doll and the bear next to each other.

“Pretty crazy, huh Doll?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’ll say…” you muttered.

“Oh, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to her,” Bucky said playfully, pointing to the Doll.

You groaned and shoved the Bucky Bear into his face, which only made him laugh.

After a moment you pulled the bear away and looked up at him thoughtfully. “… Do you think they’ll make trading cards of us too?”

Bucky merely shrugged and laid down, pulling you on top of him as he went. You placed the doll and the bear carefully back into the box as he captured your lips with his.

You wouldn’t ever tell anyone, but the doll and bear went with you everywhere, and were displayed side-by-side on a shelf in your and Bucky’s room whenever you stayed in one place for more than a few days.

* * *

**Germany - September 15th, 1944**

When you spotted the pile of photos on the kitchen table, you tottered excitedly over to them.

“Steve! You didn’t tell me you got these developed!” you hollered, gently picking them up as to not smudge them or leave fingerprints anywhere. A few days ago Steve had asked you to take pictures with everyone. You started off by taking a few by yourself; apparently the fat cats back in The States wanted pictures of you to turn into trading cards, after all. The guys had insisted on getting their pictures taken with you, and you thought it was fun so you didn’t mind.

What struck you as odd, though, was that Bucky hadn’t joined you in the photos at any point. You were having so much fun with the guys, though, that you pushed the thought to the back of your mind.

“That’s because Stevie just finished developing them,” Bucky said behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin and drop the photos.

“Jeeze, Bucky! You scared me!” you said, too distracted by the photos to turn around and look at him.

“Sorry, Doll,” he murmured contritely.

“S’all good…” you murmured, flicking through the photos.

When you got to one of just you and Jim, you froze. You were too distracted by whatever Steve had been saying to notice… but in the picture, Jim was holding up a huge sign behind you that had _“(Y/N),”_ written on it. Your brows furrowed in confusion and you had half a mind to go up and ask Steve about it, but decided to finish flipping through the rest of the photos first.

Two photos later, it was just you and Jacques this time. He was wearing a huge smile and held up a sign that was nearly identical to the first except that it had _“Will”_ written on it.

Thoroughly confused at this point, you flicked that photo to the back of the stack and kept going. 

You didn’t have to search very long for the next sign. James held this one, looking collected as always, but grinning more broadly than was strictly polite by British standards. _“You”_ was written on this one, and you hurried to get to the next one, curiosity and anticipation growing in you by the second.

There was a group photo with you, Jim, and James, followed by one with just you and Gabe, who looked really excited. When your eyes fell on the words on the plain white sign, you stopped breathing. There, written in simple black lettering, was the word _“Marry”_. A hand clapped over your mouth and you did your best to stem the tide of emotions that threatened to drown you (in your own happy tears).

You stood stock still as you flicked through the next couple photos to get to the last one, a choked sob escaping your mouth when the word _“Me?”_ stared up at you, the sign held up by Dum Dum, who was wearing that goofy grin you knew so well.

You turned slowly, photos still clutched in your hand, only to find more than Bucky there.

The guys stood along the wall, each holding their sign from the pictures. Steve stood there, too, camera up to his face, ready to snap the perfect shot at just the right moment. 

You barely even noticed them.

Your gaze went directly to Bucky.

Bucky was kneeling there in his Army uniform; Not the one he wore out with the task force, but the proper army green one. The cap was set at a jaunty angle that made him look just that much more attractive. He had a tiny black box in his hands. A simple gold band that matched the one you got him perfectly sat atop the cushion. Even from there you could make out the tiny letters engraved on its inner surface: _For my love. My (Y/N). - JBB_

Tears were running down your face but you felt so happy you sure your heart was about to burst.

“(Y/N),” he began, voice wavering a bit as he gazed up at you with those endless steel blue eyes.

You were unable to form a coherent sentence just then, so you nodded quickly, taking a shaky breath in an attempt to calm yourself a bit.

It didn’t help.

Bucky smiled up at you, white teeth flashing in the dim light. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” he asked, gazing up at you with naked hope and love that made your knees buckle.

You threw your arms around him as you fell, holding onto him as you cried unashamedly. “Yes. Yes, Bucky, yes! Bloody hell, _yes!_ ” you said into his shoulder.

Your brain didn’t even register the _click click click_ of the camera or the cheers of the guys.

He laughed happily and threw his arms around you, holding tightly to you for a moment before gently prying your arms from him so that he could actually look at you. With his free hand, he lightly wiped your tears away before placing heart-breakingly gentle kisses to each of your cheeks.

“May I?” he asked, holding up the ring sheepishly.

You nodded eagerly, nearly shoving your left hand into his chest in your excitement. He caught it, though, and you watched with baited breath as he slipped the polished band onto your ring finger. It fit perfectly and you wondered idly how he’d gotten your ring measurements when you yourself had no idea what they were, but the thought was quickly shoved from your mind at the sight of how perfect the ring looked there on your finger.

His hand wrapped around the tips of your fingers and he brought your hand slowly to his lips, then ghosted a kiss over the band.

“Bucky?” you asked, eyes shining with happiness as you beheld your ~~boyfriend~~ _fiance_.

“Yeah, Doll?” he asked, smiling down at you like you were the moon, the stars, and the sun.

“Can I move yours over?” you asked hoarsely, pointing to the gold band that was still on his right hand.

His eyes watered as he nodded, bringing his hand up so that is rested midair in front of you. You choked back a hiccuping sob as you carefully worked it off his finger, nearly fumbling a bit as you slid it onto his left ring finger.

You held your hand next to his, admiring the sight of the two golden bands in the kitchen’s low light.

“Sergeant Barnes,” you murmured, glancing up at him. His eyes locked onto yours, wide, curious smile on his face.

“Yeah, Doll?” he whispered as he rested his forehead against yours.

“Your fiancee needs you to carry her upstairs so she can rip that uniform off you,” you whispered breathlessly.

Bucky’s grin turned salacious and you felt a wave of heat roll through your system. He scooped you up into his arms, giving the guys a thankful nod as he carried you from the room.

“Sorry fellas, duty calls.”

[Originally posted by complete-fandom-trashhh](https://tmblr.co/Zb3xQg2C7UEA4)

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s your and Bucky’s big day. Then, right before the end of the year, you get information that leads you straight to Zola… and your revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader
> 
> Warnings: Language (always), violence, blood, guns, major character death
> 
> A/N: Puttin dat gif up there so you know upfront shit’s about to get real… as though the warning wasn’t enough :^)

[Originally posted by lovelynemesis](https://tmblr.co/ZVOuzi2P5U3Wt)

**Germany - October 15th 1944**

Hydra was getting desperate. Sloppy. You and the guys found the first German base and took it out early in October, earning you and the guys some time off before the assault on the final known base.

But backing a wounded animal into a corner didn’t always go well. You all knew you’d have to tread carefully. They likely wouldn’t give up their second-to-last base without a spectacular fight.

But that was a problem for another day.

Today…

Today was your wedding day.

You and Bucky didn’t feel like waiting. Not with the things you’d lived through in the past year. Besides, you didn’t have anyone but Howard and Peggy to tell and they wouldn’t have been able to make it anyway. Bucky said he was fine with a state-recognized marriage (You’d been worried when you’d asked if he wanted to have the whole Big Christian Wedding or not, but it seemed like you needn’t have stressed).

Simple vows were exchanged with a local judge in broken English that Gabe helped him translate.  
Steve walked you down the aisle to hand off to Bucky.  
You wore a simple flowered dress.  
He looked dashing in his army green military uniform.  
Your makeshift family all sat in the rickety chairs in a half-bombed-out town meeting hall.  
After the ceremony was over, together you and Bucky cut a simple pound cake with chocolate frosting that tasted way too good to be legal.  
There were enough smiles to last a lifetime.

It wasn’t what you’d imagined as a little girl, but damned if it wasn’t everything you ever needed.

The after party was held at the local bar in the nearby Allied-controlled town and drinks were had all around. The selection wasn’t great, but the Germans produced some damn good beer.

Not too much later, you and Bucky hopped on Valor and waved goodbye to your friends as Bucky kicked the bike to life. With one final wave the two of you sped off down the street and headed south.

Even with Valor’s speed, it took a while to make it to your honeymoon spot- a fortified cabin you’d designed as an emergency temporary base of operations.

It wasn’t Paris, New York, Venice, Florence, or Barcelona, but it was safe, stocked, and tucked away from the fighting, which made it perfect in your books.

“So, Misses Barnes…” Bucky murmured as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, bag forgotten by the door. You shivered; you still weren’t used to that yet. _Mrs. Barnes._ You were Mrs. Barnes. “What should we do first?”

You smiled and turned around, your fingers burying themselves in his hair as you pulled him down to place a tender, loving kiss to his lips. “I got a few ideas, husband of mine…” you murmured, smiling wickedly up at him.

He grinned down at you, pure happiness dancing in those bright blue eyes. His gaze turned dark after you pressed yourself up against him, though. “Please, _do_ go on, _wifey_ …”

* * *

**Eastern Germany - Late December 1944**

By the time December rolled around, you and the guys had taken out the last Hydra base, sending them scurrying into their dark holes, hopefully never to return.

One rat, though, was too important to let slip through your fingers and back into the sewer.

That was why, when you’d gotten a promising intelligence report that informed you of Zola’s possible location, you and the guys had jumped at the opportunity to catch him.

Even a year later, your hatred for the little weasel of a man hadn’t lessened. If anything it had festered and become nearly a living thing of its own.

Yes, the possibility of capturing Doctor Arnim Zola was why you were freezing your tits off on top of a mountain.

You were huddled on top of Bucky’s lap, trying your best to keep your heat in while Steve droned out the plan. You’d already memorized it, but going over it once more time couldn’t hurt, according to Steve.

“Gabe, Bucky, (Y/N), and I are taking the line to the train. Gabe will take an alternate route to secure the Doctor by traveling on top of the train,” Steve explained.

“Try not to get wiped off by a low bridge or tunnel,” Jim said with a smirk.

“Yes, thank you for that lovely mental image,” James said as he frowned at Jim.

“I dunno, I think that’s some pretty sound advice,” Dum Dum said with a wry grin.

Steve cleared his throat loudly and they all turned their attention back to him.

“Bucky, (Y/N), and I will enter the cars through one of the side doors. Even if I can’t get it open with brute strength, (Y/N) should be able to bypass the door to get it open, but that will take time they can use to prepare, so we’re hoping they just think no one’s stupid enough to try to board their train while it’s going a hundred miles per hour…” Steve said, frowning at the map in front of him.

You snorted. “Well, they’re not wrong… it _is_ stupid,” you said, sentence punctuated by a sneeze. Bucky chuckled and pulled you more firmly to his chest and you relaxed a bit as his warmth engulfed you.

Nearly all the guys nodded in agreement at your words.

Steve’s jaw was set stubbornly. “Well, it’s our only chance to catch Zola before he hides away who knows where. If we get Zola, we get Schmidt. If we get Schmidt…”

“We get Hydra,” Bucky said fiercely, to which Steve nodded.

“Jim, James, Jacques, and Dum Dum. You’re staying here until we’re on the train. As soon as we’re clear, go mobile. Use the devices (Y/N) gave you to listen for my signal. One of us will use the communicator on our end to give you the coordinates for prisoner pickup.”

There was a pause, then, “And if we don’t hear from you within the hour?” James asked, tone all business. None of you wanted to think about that, but it was something you always had to consider.

“Meet at the backup rendezvous. Wait a maximum of twenty-four hours. If we’re not there by then… you go back to London. Tell Agent Carter and Colonel Phillips everything we’ve learned… and make sure Johan Schmidt and Arnim Zola never breathe free air again.“

“Sir, yessir,” was the immediate response from everyone.

“Jim, you’re on the radio. Gabe, help him translate until it’s time to move. The rest of us are on lookout. Dismissed.”

Jim and Gabe made a beeline towards the radio and Jim immediately began tinkering with the knobs and dials as he searched for a frequency the Germans were using.

You got up from Bucky’s lap and resumed your frenzied pacing. You hated heights.

Well, you hated _this_ height, at the very least. How Steve had convinced you to zipline over a giant icy crevasse was beyond you.

But the thought of not being there with the both of them if something went wrong… well, that made your mind up for you.

“Remember when I made you ride the cyclone at Coney Island?” you heard Bucky ask Steve, both of whom were standing absurdly close to the edge.

“Yeah, and I threw up?” Steve asked, looking thoughtful.

“This isn’t payback, is it?” Bucky asked, eyeing the canyon, zipline, and railroad tracks warily.

Steve grinned and glanced over his shoulder to where the zipline was anchored into the stone. “Now why would I do that?” he asked just a bit too playfully.

Any retort you or Bucky had, though, was cut off by Gabe speaking up.

“We were right. Doctor Zola’s on the train.” You, Bucky, and Steve all turned to look at him. “Hydra dispatcher just gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going, they need him bad,” Gabe said as Steve and Bucky took a step towards him.

“Oh, I’m sure they do,” you muttered darkly. Bucky threw an arm around your shoulder and pulled you to his chest. You relaxed a bit as he placed a kiss to the crown of your head.

With that news, you and the guys all hustled to grab the gear for the zip wire. James, who was keeping watch, seemed to finally spot the train. “Let’s get going because they’re moving like the devil,” he warned, sounding nervous.

Steve stepped up to the line, placing his trolley onto the thick metal wire. Dum Dum handed you yours and you nearly vomited when you took a peak over the side of the cliff.

“Doll… if you don’t want to do this Dum Dum can take your place. I’d rather have you up here and safe than passing out halfway through your run because you looked down…” Bucky said worriedly, ducking down so he was eye-level with you.

Was it really that simple? Just… bow out now so you didn’t run the risk of dying on a god-forsaken zipline in the freezing mountains of eastern Germany?

Bucky’s ice blue eyes searched yours and it was those eyes that gave you the strength you needed. “No, I got this,” you said determinedly.

Bucky smiled and placed a passionate, sloppy and vaguely frost-bitten kiss to your lips. “Love you, Mrs. Barnes. Let’s do this,” he said with a sappy grin.

“Love you too, Mr. Barnes. Let’s show that chrome dome what-for, eh?” you said with a grin.

Bucky gave you one last quick peck on the lips before returning his attention to Steve, who’d just started speaking again.

“We only got about a ten second window!” he yelled over the icy wind. “You miss that window, we’re bugs on a windshield!” he said quickly as he watched the train roll around the mountain’s curvy track.

Dum Dum and Jacques moved to either side of your four-person line. Jacques would count people off and Dum Dum would ensure their trolley and handlebars were secure before they jumped off a two hundred foot cliff.

“Mind the gap,” James said sardonically, bringing a much-needed smile to your face.

“Better get moving, bugs!” Dum Dum yelled, making you smile even wider, even as your stomach flipped with anticipation.

Steve crouched down a bit, hands gripping the handlebars as he waited for Jacques to give the signal.

“Maintenant!” Jacques yelled, and Steve was off.

Bucky was up next, his trolley already on the wire, hands glued to the cold metal. The second he was ready, Jacques signaled him to go.

Then, it was your turn. Dum Dum hooked your trolley up for you (the wire was too high for you to reach- damned tall men) and you wrapped your hands around the freezing metal and clung to it for dear life while you waited. You tried your best to not look down and failed, your stomach plummeting to somewhere around the bottom of the canyon at the sight.

_Oh shit._

Then, Jacques signaled it was your turn to go and you stepped off the cliff. All rational thought was driven from your mind except _“hold the bloody hell on_.“

You had to hand it to James and Jacques, their timing couldn’t have been more perfect. You dropped onto the train right behind Bucky and heard Gabe drop down behind you a moment later. Steve glanced back at all of you and, although your head was still spinning, you all gave him tight nods; you were ready to continue with the mission.

You ran along the top of the train, doing your best to avoid any spots that looked particularly slippery or dangerous. You briefly contemplated the merits of adding magnets to your boots when this mission was over, but quickly pushed the thought from your mind so you could focus. Zola was down there somewhere, and you had a month worth of torture to pay him back for.

Steve eventually found a ladder and a side door onto the train. Gabe took up a lookout position while you, Steve, and Bucky all filed down the ladder and into the train (the door had thankfully opened with the simple turn of a handle). You slid in after Bucky, who closed the door firmly behind you, and the car was suddenly swathed in silence, sans the low rumble of the train moving along the tracks. You’d expected some guards, maybe some equipment, but only black cases full of who-knew-what. Steve and Bucky went ahead of you and you stayed back, gloves and boots ready to be activated at a moment’s notice.

As they approached the next car, Steve glanced back at Bucky, who nodded, silent conversation taking place in seconds. Neither of them liked that it was so quiet. The three of you should have been swarmed the moment you set foot on the train, and yet… _nothing_.

Steve stepped through the first doorway and was barely through the next when the door at the back of the car you and Bucky were in opened.

There, looking utterly terrifying, was a man dressed in what could only be described as a walking Hydra canon.

“Stop them! Fire!” 

 _Zola_. He was yelling over the loudspeakers in the train.

Steve spun and tossed his shield; it cut through the air and hit the man-canon with a resounding thud, but he didn’t fall.

It did, however, stun him long enough for you to risk a glance behind you. You could see Steve through the tiny windows, but a moment later he was gone, replaced by the rabble that was at least ten Hydra soldiers swarming him.

Without his shield, he’d be hard-pressed- you didn’t have time to think about that.

Bucky stood there, frozen for a moment, gold band and blue eyes glinting in the low light as he stared at you, a hundred emotions flashing in his eyes at once, finally settling on grim determination.

The look in his eyes coaxed your body back into action.

You dived for the shield, hoping to whatever god was listening that vibranium could block that thing’s blasts.

You reached it just as you heard the guns powering up, a shrill sound you knew well by now, but the sheer power behind these ones made your blood run cold.

You raised it reflexively, just in time to negate a blast that would have vaporized you and everything around you had it not been met with the vibranium surface.

Instead, it merely catapulted you backwards, sending you flying straight past Bucky and into the wall by the door. You fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.

“(Y/N)!” he yelled, but didn’t have time to check on you.

The man with the giant guns took a menacing step forward and Bucky grabbed the shield, holding it with one arm as he walked determinedly forward, pistol raised. His bullets didn’t seem to do much, but it was enough of a distraction that the Hydra agent didn’t see you coming. You were upon him before he knew what was happening, jet boots propelling you forward nearly faster than the eye could follow.

You revved your gloves up to full power and let your fist fly. It caught him square in the chest and he dropped backwards with a resounding thud, the noise reverberating loudly in the the tiny metal car.

“I had him on the ropes,” Bucky said while panting, Steve’s shield still clutched in one hand.

You grinned over your shoulder and walked over to him, hand clutched over the lump that was forming on the back of your head from your brief but violent encounter with the wall. “I know you did,” you said with a huge grin. “Let’s go save Steve’s ass, yeah?”

It was then that you both heard it. The sound of the gun preparing to fire again. Your head must have been knocked harder than you thought, because Bucky had moved by the time your brain had finished processing what that sound meant.

“Get down!” he yelled, placing himself and the shield between you and the blast just in time.

The blast ricocheted off the shield and blew a hole clean through the side of the train. The metal peeled back almost like it was a tin can.

“Bucky!” you screeched, watching in horror as the shield flew one way and he flew another; in this case, out the gaping  hole.

“Fire again!” Zola yelled through the speaker.

 _Like hell I’d let that happen,_ you thought to yourself. You lunged forward, pulling your knife from your thigh holster as you did so. This close, the man’s guns were useless and he couldn’t defend himself against the knife as it made its way through the base of his mask, then the bottom of his jaw and into his brain. He dropped like a sack of potatoes but you didn’t pause to make sure he stayed down; not even Steve could survive a knife to the brain.

You rushed to the gaping hole in the train and stuck your head out, nearly crying with relief when you saw Bucky holding onto one of the gnarled handrails.

“Bucky!” you yelled, grabbing his attention. He glanced up at you, hope sparking in his eyes. Against all your screaming instincts, you grabbed onto the railing and began inching your way across the precariously hanging metal wall. “Hang on, Buck! I’m coming!” you hollered, doing your best to not vomit at the sight below you. That had to be at least three hundred feet.

Bucky inched towards you, but the side he was moving towards wasn’t as well connected and it creaked and shuddered ominously the closer he got. You could see the fear in his eyes.

You got to the end of your handrail and reached out, willing your arm to stretch as far as it could. “Grab my hand!” you yelled, eyes never leaving his.

Your hands couldn’t quite reach. It was so close. You stretched even farther, one of your legs going out behind you to help balance yourself out, but it still wasn’t enough. A few times your fingers grazed each other, but still… not enough.

Then, Bucky gave one last almighty effort, pulling himself up enough that your fingers were finally able to grab onto his wrist, his hand wrapping around yours.

You and Bucky had a crystal clear moment of elation, smiles breaking out onto your faces.

Then, gravity set back in and ripped your fingers from the metal bar and your feet from the slotted metal. There was a moment when you both passed by the metal of the door, still carried by the train’s inertia…

… and then you were falling.

At first, the both of you screamed. You shut your eyes. The terror of your imminent demise chilled you more than the fierce winter wind whipping through your hair. Then, he pulled you to him as you both tumbled through the air in a free-fall.

He pressed his lips to yours and you forced your eyes open. If you were about to die, you wanted the last thing you saw to be him, so your maker knew he was the last thought to go through your head. The last thing your eyes saw. The last thing your skin felt before the ground.

“I’m sorry.” The wind swallowed your words, but he knew what you said anyway.

He merely shook his head. “I love you,” you saw him say.

“I love you, too,” you said with a smile, even as your eyes refused to stop crying.

You couldn’t tell which way was up and which way was down (everything was a blur of grey and white, except for Bucky), but you knew it wouldn’t be long now.

You shoved your face into his chest and gave him a squeeze you hoped he felt.

If you imagined really hard, it was just like the two of you were outside on a windy day and-

* * *

**Steve’s POV**

Steve broke through the door just in time to watch in horror as you and Bucky fell. He rushed to the gaping hole in the train, heart breaking as the two of you were reduced to specs in mere moments, your screams quickly silenced by the wind.

Steve stared at the river below and fought back every emotion that bubbled to the surface, but they still burst through. He buried his face in his hands, eyes swimming with tears.

His two best friends, gone at the same time.

And he hadn’t been there to stop it. He’d been too slow. Too weak.

Zola would pay.

Schmidt would pay.

Steve would make sure of it.

* * *

**Bucky’s POV**

He didn’t know, at first, what woke him.

Once he was a little more cognizant, he realized he didn’t know _how_ he was awake. Not after a fall like that.

A few hazy shapes swam into view and after a moment his vision focused enough to allow him to recognize a couple of Soviet soldiers. He could just barely hear their conversation, though he didn’t understand a single word of what they were saying.

Bucky couldn’t feel anything, so it was a complete surprise to him when he looked down and found his left arm almost completely missing, the stump leaving a bloody trail as he was dragged off to god knows where.

But Bucky could have dealt with losing all of his limbs if it meant what he saw next wasn’t real.

His head fell to his other shoulder and if he was capable of screaming just then he would have.

You were being dragged next to him. Your suit was in tatters and frozen to your skin; your skin itself was bloody and torn and you were missing a few fingers as well as your legs below your knees.

It was when he looked at your face, though, that Bucky felt the last bit of fight leave him.

Your eyes were dead. Glazed over. Light gone. Staring at nothing. You were dead, no matter how much he didn’t want to to be true.

And suddenly Bucky wished he was dead, too…

 

…So he closed his eyes and hoped for just that.


End file.
